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» The Letterville BullBoard » The Portfolio Table » Another critique request

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Author Topic: Another critique request
Patrick Whatley
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Okay, pick me apart again.

I'm working on a branding project for a local "store brand" energy drink.

 -

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Pat Whatley
Montgomery, AL
(334) 262-7446 office
(334) 324-8465 cell

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Brian Snyder
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Cool design. First thought that came to mind was Red Bull's "Its gives you wings" campaign. Don't know if thats good or bad. Just an observation.

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Brian Snyder
Sign Effectz
Woodbridge, New Jersey

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Bruce Bowers
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I had the exact same thought that Brian did...

I do like the design, though. It has a certain power to it. Thumbs up by me...

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Bruce Bowers

DrCAS Custom Lettering and Design
Saint Cloud, Minnesota


"Things work out best for the people who make the best of the way things work out." - Art Linkletter

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George Perkins
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And I thought of the comic guy with the little wings on his head:)

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George Perkins
Millington,TN.
goatwell@bigriver.net

"I started out with nothing and still have most of it left"

www.perkinsartworks.com

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Mike Clayton
Deceased


Member # 723

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I agree with the above posts, how about trying a lightning bolt instead?

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Mike Clayton
M C Grafix Custom Lettering
New Jersey (again)

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Jillbeans
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I love it.
The only thing I'd change is to either put the "ENERGY DRINK" in a black panel, in yellow, or beef up the alphabet just a bit if left as is.
(it looks ever so slightly off-center, too)
It's funky in a good way...kinda like you, Pat.
Love....Jill

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Ricky Jackson
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Well I'll go out on a limb and say I like it just the way it is.

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Ricky Jackson
Signs Now
614 Russell Parkway
Warner Robins, GA
(478) 923-7722
signpimp50@hotmail.com

"If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." Sir Issac Newton

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Chris OBrien
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I think it looks great save for the "Energy Drink" like Jill said, maybe an outline or panel. The graphic is very "raw" and "edgy" and the secondary copy just seems to not fit in. When all is said and done, I think it would be cool to see a step-by-step of the process. As always, awesome work!

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Chris O'Brien
Cape Cod, MA

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jake snow
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What about a guy in a trench coat doing his thing with "FLASH" across the midrif. It would be a little different, eh? And most of the folks that woould be buying it would get a kick out of it (in more ways than one) [I Don t Know]

Sorry Mr. Jackson...pleeez don't wip me wit that limb.... [Razz]

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Snow's Sign Works
865-908-0076
snowman@planetc.com
www.snowsigns.com

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

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Anne McDonald
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I agree that the logo looks great and also that the energy drink appears a little off centre.
The layout, design and colours are awesome! Are the wings significant to something about the company?
Thor, holding a lightning bolt comes to my mind when I hear the word "Flash"!!

Nice stuff Pat!

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Anne McDonald
17 Karnak Crescent
Russley
Christchurch 8042
New Zealand

"I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure"

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Frank Magoo
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I like general concept of it, but agree word Flash suggests something other than wings, and I'm sure if company becomes anywhere successful, they(Flash) will hear from RedBull about it...

I'd forget wings, maybe even rid background of whatever those things are and from center, starting w/white, I'd give illusion of a flash...out of white to yellow to orange, on out to dk. red, you get the drift, then lay in your logo, sans wings, rid body of letter of dingbats and rely upon color only, I'd suggest a lt.blue for starters, love to see that combo; now you've got my attention...for what it's worth...

[Cool]

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Frank Magoo,
Magoo's-Las Vegas; fmagoo@netzero.com
"the only easy day was yesterday"

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Kelly Thorson
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I realy like it, but some good points were made here.
When I look at the layout of those wings along with the word "flash" it brings to mind the outstretched arms of a flasher. Perhaps a play on that using a bat wings/trenchcoat scheme with the flash in white & neon blue against the black would catch the attention of the age group that probably are the greatest consumers of energy drinks. The "cape" effect may suggest "Superhero" type results. Just thinking out loud. [Smile]
I really like the "noise" you added, it's fun, reminds me of too much coffee. [Smile]

--------------------
“Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?”
-Winnie the Pooh & A.A. Milne

Kelly Thorson
Kel-T-Grafix
801 Main St.
Holdfast, SK
S0G 2H0
ktg@sasktel.net

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Brent Logan
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I like the "grunge" look on the type. Nice work!

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Brent Logan
Reno, NV

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Ken Henry
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Hi Pat. I like the look you've achieved , but I would be very concerned about coming too close to anything presently out there.

If I might make a suggestion, it would be to try a fill within the letters that is suggestive of an electrical charge. There are those lights/lamps sold at Radio Shack ( if they're still called that near you) that resemble lightning within a sphere...that's the sort of visual look I'm referring to. Something that denotes "supercharged with energy" if you will.

Edit: I'm not sure about how to post an example here, but I'll e-mail you a jpeg file that will better illustrate what I'm suggesting.

[ January 13, 2007, 03:31 PM: Message edited by: Ken Henry ]

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Ken Henry
Henry & Henry Signs
London, Ontario Canada
(519) 439-1881
e-mail: kjmlhenry@rogers.com

Why do I get all those on-line offers to sell me Viagara, when the only thing hardening is my arteries ?

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Patrick Whatley
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Thanks for the thoughts. I should have mentioned that I'm limited on the color scheme. This is going to have to eventually be used in several different colors corresponding to the color of the individual flavors.

Since I got asked in a few emails here a few of the ideas that made it as far as color. I've been doing most of my sketching on a 4x8 dry erase board lately because I can erase and rework ideas so much faster.

 -

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Pat Whatley
Montgomery, AL
(334) 262-7446 office
(334) 324-8465 cell

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George Perkins
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I really like the look of the one on the lower left. It has a lot of action and looks like a drink label.

--------------------
George Perkins
Millington,TN.
goatwell@bigriver.net

"I started out with nothing and still have most of it left"

www.perkinsartworks.com

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Anne McDonald
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I agree with George, I love the scripted version!
It really punches out the message and doesn't rely on the wings to give it oomph! Loving the splash effect in the backgound.

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Anne McDonald
17 Karnak Crescent
Russley
Christchurch 8042
New Zealand

"I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure"

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Jillbeans
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I agree with Anne and George, that the scripty one looks more like a drink label and has punch.
I'm not keen on the blending of the F and l tho. Perhaps a more old-skool looking capital F would cure that.
But I still like the one on top of it...except the subcopy remains off-center looking. Must be my eyes.
Love....Jill

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Stevo Chartrand
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Bottom left one here as well, with the maroon outline on it instead of the white for more contrast.
It's lookin very cool, nice work Pat!

Stevo [Smile]

--------------------
Stevo Design
Illustration Logos Sign Design Clip Art
www.stevo-design.com

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Brent Logan
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I still like the first one.

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Brent Logan
Reno, NV

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Kelly Thorson
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Me too. [Smile]
And clockwise in order from there.
*Edit - I find the Fl onthe script one hard to make out. It almost reads like an N or an A to me. I think had we not come in knowing the word was Flash from the other images that might be even more apparent.

[ January 14, 2007, 05:17 PM: Message edited by: Kelly Thorson ]

--------------------
“Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?”
-Winnie the Pooh & A.A. Milne

Kelly Thorson
Kel-T-Grafix
801 Main St.
Holdfast, SK
S0G 2H0
ktg@sasktel.net

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Mike Clayton
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I guess I'm the wierd one here, I like the upper and lower right logos.

The lower left script one looks like it says "Hash" when you first glance at it.

JMHO

MC

--------------------
Mike Clayton
M C Grafix Custom Lettering
New Jersey (again)

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Deri Russell
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Yeah Mike, that makes two of us wierd ones, I like the one on the top right. But you are appealing to the teen & preteen crowd so I would use a grunge typestyle like Killer Ants or something. My thoughts are the wings and the lightening bolts have both been done before and I would be scared to death to infringe on copyrights. Just my 2 cents. By the way- very cool project. Wish I could get something like that.

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Deri Russell
Wildwood Signs
Hanover, Ontario

You're just jealous 'cause the little voices only talk to me.

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Bobbie Rochow
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Lower right for me, Pat. I can see what Jill means, move the letters over to the right so the A is in the middle.

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The Word in Signs
Bobbie Rochow
Jamestown, PA 16134

724-927-6471

thewordinsigns@alltel.net

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captain ken
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screw red bull, thry sont have the rights to wings, their logo is a bull anyway.... I like the original, but yeah the black panel on the 2ndary copy helps

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Ken McTague,
Concept Signs
57 Bridge St. (route 107)
Salem MA 01970
1-978-745-5800
conceptsign@yahoo.com
http://www.pinheadlounge.com/CaptainKen

---------------------------------

"A wise man once said that, or was it a wise guy?"

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Suelynn Sedor
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I like the first one too. I do like it with the black band underneath too, and think that would be cool to carry out through the designs of the other colors too.

Suelynn

--------------------
"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
-George Eliot

Suelynn Sedor
Sedor Signs
Carnduff, SK Canada

Posts: 2863 | From: Carnduff, SK Canada | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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