posted
ok, I'll admit I'm a little nervous to ask for this critique because I ventured out into completely different style-territory for me, & may have violated "rules" I never thought of...
...but I trust my eye enough to consider it a somewhat attractive layout. I also value the many professional points of view available here to offer suggestions on improvements.
The tagline may well be over-written with something else... but it does mean something to me, & the layout is more up for discussion then the concept (which is not completely obscure here... but also not completely expressed)
I'll note my own areas of concern first.
The "FOR" could be read out of sync & maybe lowering that & "SUCCESS" would help... although it would leave a bigger hole in the center then I already have
The swooshy things I stole from the panel... (thanks to clipart-design.com for the sample pak) ...& then stuck on to a couple letters, well, it works for me, but the whole signwriter lettering enhancement & flourish concept is entirely foriegn to me... so not sure if it looks wrong to others.
The other thing I'm really not sure about is the gold flourish things I modified from the decorative bracket design also included in the freebie clipart-design.com panel used here. They do fill up space that looked empty, but are they fighting or harmonizing? I like them, but being in new style-territory, my self-honesty is inversly proportional to the difficulty in improving it.
also, in closing, I'd like to add that I began this with the hope of doing my first actual routed & carved sign, using my first attempt at smalts & my second attempt at gold leaf (& platinum)
oh, & here it is with the bracket:
[ July 04, 2006, 09:24 PM: Message edited by: Doug Allan ]
posted
The word "for" is definately out of place. Also, the text lines could be tightened up a bit. I also don't like the "beard on the 3rd "s" in "Success".
Also, try moving the shadow to the right instead of the left. I think it will help with the open space surrounding the word "for" and tighten up the text overall.
[ July 04, 2006, 09:19 PM: Message edited by: Glenn Taylor ]
posted
Doug, I love the colors and the concept. But I'd take off the smaller gold scrolls, and change the layout, as "FOR" is out of context. Just take the hoop-de-doo off that "U", skootch "UP" over, and put the "FOR" where it belongs. Love....Jill
Posts: 8834 | From: Butler, PA, USA | Registered: Jan 2001
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posted
wow... thanks Ken. Actually I appreciate all the advice from Glenn & Jill too, & I will rework things as time permits... but Ken's observation is so typical of my lifelong weakness in the spelling department.
(I know I'm a poor speller... but there is only so much a poor speller can do when spell check doesn't catch words that are the wrong word, rather then spelled wrong. I do consult the on-line dictionary almost every day when posting & that is my best effort at improving this deficiency)
posted
Doug, I think you got some cool colors there, and the whole concept of the sign looks great, and I really like that panel. I think it just needs a little tightening up. I took it into photoshop and just moved a couple things around, and changed the type on the subcopy. Hope you didnt mind. I didnt put no cartoon in there either.
-------------------- Maker of fine signs and other creative stuff. Located at 109 N. Cumberland ave. Harlan, Ky. 40831 606-837-0242 Posts: 4172 | From: Ages-Brookside, Ky. Up the Holler... | Registered: Jul 1999
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posted
Doug - first the bad news (not really bad though):
1.) The "Up For" definately is visually troublesome....your eyes cannot help but bounce back and forth between "for" and "up" - - trying to figure out which way it should read....The "Up" being larger doesn't really help this. This area stops your eye movement through the sign dead in it's tracks.
2.) Per Jill - ditch the small scrolls.
3.) The entire Sign Up for Success needs to be much more predominant - beefy as it were - as it seems to be sort of weak....Make it larger yet...go "outside the lines" if you have to...it won't hurt to have the letters partially extend beyond the sign frame.
4.) John D. helped out by adding the rule lines on the 2ndary copy....but the little scrolls still don't work...not that I don't like the idea of scrolls in this layout at all...but they need to be a shape that compliments the rest of the layout....they are what I refer to as "floaters"....they are there, but for no apparent reason....they don't really help to anchor anything.
That's it for what I personally would change....Now for ....
The Good News:
1.) Colors are great -
2.) Vertical lines are a nice touch....and work with the layout.
3.) Beautiful visual execution on the presentation - bevels, shadows, dimensional imagery is professional and frankly - an outstanding job.
4.) Font - Very nice....however when I first glanced at the sign I pictured the "Salvation Army" logo for some reason.
5.) I love the bracket....did you design that yourself? Great job there.
6.) With a little tweaking this could be an awesome showpiece.
If you feel like sending me the vector art...I could tweak it up as I see it from my perspective and post the results....
I've been designing and posting too much stuff here in the last couple days....my wife's gonna kill me if I start on another one from scratch...I'm supposed to be on vacation, dammit!! A vector could make it go quick for me.
Todd, I forgot to get that file transfered to my office so it's at home. I'd be happy to send it & see your take on my options, but it will need to wait until I can get to it... (& remember to) Hopefully tonight
posted
I messed with the typesetting a bit & was reminded of some advice from Cam the last time (one of the only other times) that I tried to do something with a decorative panel. He said it looked like I was trying to make the sign fit a predetermined panel & that was not the way to design a sign (he said it much better than I... but you get the idea)
...so, I don't think I can get the copy to fit the panel I had in mind, but I want to post the type setting changes. I did try something with the scrolls inspired by John's idea & since I hope to come up with a decorative panel & use similar colors... I threw the type on a rectangle just so it would have a slight reference to where I want to go with it.
I'm really busy now, but I hate to lose all momentum with this project, so here is a quickly done image for further critique on the type setting & to solicit ideas for designing a panel & some other embellishments to take it up a notch or 2 so I will feel it worthy of trying out some carving & some gilding.
posted
Hey Doug I like the "gingerbread" look of the first one. Yeah the "for" was out of place, and there were 4 different size "S's", I prefer the same size "S's" in Success,...with out the last one having it's own curly Q, let the border have em'. Is that "u" in Success wide enough for you, not for me (personal taste),...love the colors, the oversize caps, and especially sign shape. Does Hawaii have any signs like this? I commend you for sharing,..keep up the good work!
-------------------- Rich Stebbing RichSigns Rohnert Park CA 707-795-5588 Posts: 755 | From: Rohnert Park, CA | Registered: Nov 1998
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posted
Hi Doug, In no way am I proficient with creating shaded designs, etc. but, I had a look at your beautiful design, also.
I, too, like the gingerbread look of the first, but I also relate to the shape as one of two ways (knighthood or salvation army) and I like the knighthood effect. Whether you use the rectangle or the coat of arms shape, I'm sure you would come up with something great. (The "For" seems to bother me, maybe it's just the "F".) Still, taking the copy and enlarging as you moved the scrolls really was a great move, as the effect takes command of the empty space. The beveling and shading are awesome and the colors work wonderfully.
-------------------- Deb Fowler
"It's kind of fun to do the impossible - Walt Disney (1901-1966) Posts: 5373 | From: Loves Park, Illinois | Registered: Aug 1999
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posted
Doug, Your original layout is superb, it looks great. I would see if you can make the changes and make that work. Nice job.
-------------------- Mike Erickson Logo Motive Designs 2022 Mineral Sprngs Dr. Roseville, CA 95747 http://www.logomotive.net Posts: 27 | From: Roseville, CA. | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
Bobbie... I have a variety of thoughts that led up to this idea... but it would not be a sign whoose purpose is for advertising my sign company per se. I have signs outside already, but I consider making this really nice with some of the traditional Letterhead style (that is almost never in my usual work)... & then having it hang inside my shop. It would serve as one more sample of the endless variety of materials, techniques, & styles. \ The wording is supposed to begin to suggest that a "sign"... any sign... mine, or my customers.. any kind of customers sign should IMO be both a magnet drawing in future success & a beacon proclaiming current success to influence the perceptions of the clients viewing that particular sign... and also a constant reminder of both present & future success to the owner of the sign...
...or in other words, while it's true that "form follows function" ...having our priorities straight still doesn't justify skipping an attractive "form" just because a cheaper plainer sign may appear to serve it's function.
I consider it an expression of the value in upselling any customer & also justifying NEW signs for people who don't think they need one, because they already have one.
I thought that if I could make a nice sign like this, I then might take a nice photo of it & use it in conjunction with the concepts I've tried to express above, for some sort of print advertising. The downside to that idea is that it does not speak to my current market as well as it may speak to my letterhead friends... so I've also considered making it a 2 sided sign & having a decidedly more contemporary look, feel & flavor to the other side... with different materials & colors, & style... but the same message.
Mike, thanks for your compliment. I have no desire to use a square & will continue to try to "fix" the original. I was hoping for some more ideas that would make that easier, but I think it comes down to choosing (designing) an entirely different panel shape that can fit new typesetting.
I will go back to the drawing board as soon as I can get out from under a very heavy workload at present.
posted
That is a good way to think, & yea, a good idea too!
I guess I asked because my sign shop is called "The Word in Signs", kinda like, "Get your word(idea) across in signs", you know? But it is also kind of a hidden christian thing too. Usually only other christians notice that tho.
I would never put a fish on my sign, & certainly not on my vehicles since I tend to be a leadfoot! I am far from perfect, I just keep tryin...enough of that...sorry.
But I do like that idea, Doug. I need to get samples of the different work I do in my shop but it is SO tiny!!! No room! No walls, they are only 4 foot high & slope up to the ceiling!
-------------------- The Word in Signs Bobbie Rochow Jamestown, PA 16134
724-927-6471
thewordinsigns@alltel.net Posts: 3485 | From: Jamestown, PA 16134 | Registered: Oct 2002
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