I'm a lurker here. I guess that isn't fair, because I feel like I know many of y'all, and most of you don't know I exist.
I operate a typical vinyl shop in Alabama. Five of us work there, plus one salesman. Last July I hired Ed Skinner. Ed is married to a niece of mine. He had worked for me in a previous business, and though I knew he could be a little "cranky" at times, I knew he was a tireless worker. The old fashioned sweaty, gritty, stay til we get through type. He had a hospital stay with blood clots in June that year, and his doctor told him he needed a change in occupation. Ed caught on quickly to all the mechanics of sign assembly. Although he lacked a few "people skills", I knew I could hand an order to him and walk away. It would be done right and on time.
To try to keep this as short as possible, we've had a lot of growth this past year. We are moving this weekend into a high traffic location on the Industrial Parkway. Ed worked through the week moving, with others, most of the stuff that wasn't used daily. The plan for today was to move the computers, plotters and work tables. Tomorrow we would set the network back up, then be ready to open Monday morning. After I got home last night he called to let me know he had to take care of something, and would be in an hour or two late. About 10am, I started calling him. All day, no answer. Finally about 6pm, my son called his wife to check up with him. Turns out his wife had been in bed all day with a virus. When she went to get him, he was laying on the bed, fully dressed...dead.
We assume one of the blood clots traveled to his heart. This is heartbreaking. Ed was only 35, with two daughters he adored. He told me yesterday he had three things that mattered to him... his wife, his daughters and that one acre of ground on Mack Borden Road. Ed was hard to reach. He was bitter about his childhood. Divorce, adoption, never feeling like he fit in. I listened. But I "couldashoulda" done so much more. I don't think the world sucks. I like it. I love people. I just listened, hoping he would learn from watching. I could have told him so much more.
I hope each of you have a chance to work with an Ed Skinner someday.
Again, this is heartbreaking. And so far, talking about it ain't helping.
Thanks for listening, Tim Borden
-------------------- Tim Borden Speedy's Signs & Banners Jasper, AL
"World Class Entremanure" Posts: 74 | From: Jasper, AL, USA | Registered: May 1999
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Thanks for trusting us here in Letterville enough to make this post Tim. I've had 4 heart attacks since 1993. Your touching words remind us that life is a precious gift. Thank You my friend.
-------------------- Steve Shortreed 144 Hill St., E. Fergus, Ontario Canada N1M 1G9 519-787-2673
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Our prayers are with you Tim, & with Ed's family. Hang in there. You are in a tough time to lose your focus with the move, so let that be an escape for your thoughts, & power out & get the new shop in ship shape. That's what Ed was trying to help you do, so don't feel bad making it a priority still. You will have to grieve in your own way, but don't beat yourself up for having Ed help you move (if you are), & allow yourself more time, after the move is done, to contemplate why the world works the way it does. That can be a full time job, when something so un-expected happens. Best of luck to you as you deal with all this. We are listening, & hope that offers some consolation.
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Tim, I am saddened by your loss, and feel deeply for Ed's family. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. I am glad you chose to share this with us. It is difficult and you may not realize how it is helping you for some time. Reaching out for support in tough times is natural and I believe you will find that support here in abundance! I know I did. I was mostly "lurking" here when my son died in 99, and I posted looking for help and solace. The response of letterville was heartwarming. I noticed a staement in you post and have some advice. I know it is early in the grief process, but i suggest you find a way to put to rest those feelings of "couldashoulda". Trust me to know they are a roadblock to coming to terms with what has happened to the world around you. If you need an ear give me a call, I'll do whatever I can. May God bless and comfort Ed's family and friends.
-------------------- Bill Dirkes Cornhole Art LLC Bellevue, Ky. Goodnight Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are. Posts: 591 | From: Bellevue,Ky. US | Registered: Aug 1999
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Tim, your healing might start by helping your neice and her daughters. Sharing greif is good for a season. Thank you for choosing us to share your tears.
-------------------- The SignShop Mendocino, California
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity. — Charles Mingus Posts: 6806 | From: Mendocino, CA. USA | Registered: Nov 1998
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I read your letter with great interest. It touched me.
I think you have done Ed and his family a great service. You WERE there for him. You gave him a job when he needed it and MOST IMPORTANTLY you were there to LISTEN.
So few are able or willing to do that these days. He obviously confided in you a great deal and you took the time to hear it. That is a wonderful gift.
While over time you may have been able to do more, I believe you did what you could in the best way possible in the time you had.
And you probably did so much more than you will ever know.
A older friend of mine died when I was just in my late teens. He was in his 30's... way too young. A few weeks ago I ran into his wife at a mutual friend's wedding - one of my former employees actually. We hadn't seen each other in almost thirty-five years. We sat next to each other by chance. Over a long conversation we caught up on the last many years. I was able to tell her in a heartfelt way how much her husband had helped me way back then. Advice he gave me sticks with me to this day. She was really touched and told me she continually bumped into people who felt the same way about her husband. She was just so happy he had made such a difference in so many peoples lives.
Still be there for his family... as he said to you they were what was important to him. You can continue to help him.
He would like that.
-dan
-------------------- Dan Sawatzky Imagination Corporation Yarrow, British Columbia dan@imaginationcorporation.com http://www.imaginationcorporation.com
Being a grampa is one of the the most wonderful things in the world!!! Posts: 8761 | From: Yarrow, B.C. Canada | Registered: Nov 1998
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