The Letterville BullBoard: You might be a Redneck Sign Guy if

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Steve & Barb Shortreed
144 Hill St., E.
Fergus, ON, Canada
N1M 1G9

Phone: 519-787-2892
Fax: 519-787-2673
Email: barb@letterville.com

»	The Letterville BullBoard » Old Archives » You might be a Redneck Sign Guy if

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Topic: You might be a Redneck Sign Guy if

goddinfla
Visitor
Member # 1502

posted

For a big date your choice for a cologne is Rapid Tac

One Shot is your favorite paint and all it takes to bag dinner

Your home brew makes a great fast reducer

You use a marker to cover paint spots on your good suit so you can go to a wedding

Your 12 year old daughter is a whiz at weeding and so are her kids

Your mahl stick has a gator foot on it for those hard to reach itches

Both of your brothers named Darryl work for you

Hauled some old signs to the dump and returned with more than you took

When you get paint on your hands on an installation you use the rag gas cap to clean them

The first sign you ever did was spray painting your girlfriend’s name on a highway overpass

Your house doesn’t have curtains, but your shop truck does

You have to letter your wife’s name on her orange vest she wears at work

Your weeding table used to be a cable spool

You turn on your plotter with a clapper

Your taillight covers are red intermediate vinyl

You tell your kid to get some paint thinner and he heads for the neighbor’s with a siphon hose

The gas pedal on your shop truck is shaped like a bare foot

The shop toilet paper used to be the June issue of Sign Builder Illustrated

Your shop truck is painted with house paint

You removed the back seat of the car so you can haul 4 x 8’s

Your shop is in Kingsland Georgia

Your plotter is up on blocks

Drawings shown customers have tobacco stains on them

There’s a gun rack in the shop truck

There’s a Bud Light pool table light over your weeding table

You spend more at the taxidermist than at your sign suppliers

The shop dog gets a birthday present and your wife doesn’t

Your mahl stick doubles as a frog gig

You think the sign inspectors can’t see you because your shop truck is painted camouflage

You think a quill works better than a Q-tip

Your company checks have a picture of Hank Jr.

You’ve tried to buy vinyl with food stamps

The shop bathroom deodorizer is a box of matches

You conduct the majority of your business on the CB

You clean your brushes with your current toothbrush

You’ve used an x-acto to remove a wart

The receptionist is responsible for checking the rat traps at your shop

You traded your mom’s favorite chainsaw for a used piece of mdo

Feel free to add your own

Posts: 1050 | From: Tampa Fl USA | Registered: Apr 2000 | IP: Logged |

cheryl nordby
Visitor
Member # 1100

posted

You might be a redneck sign gal if......

Your truck and car both always have paint on the steering wheel. [Razz]

You always carry a bottle of baby oil in every vehicle to remove paint from your hands etc.

Your purse weighs a ton as you carry tape measures, levels, and utility knives everywhere you go.

You always have paint under your fingernails. [Eek!]

You use lip liner to make your registration marks on the transfer tape and substrate you are putting the designs on.

[ June 24, 2002, 02:18 PM: Message edited by: cheryl nordby ]

Posts: 3729 | From: Seattle | Registered: Sep 1999 | IP: Logged |

Si Allen
Resident

Member # 420

posted

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK SIGNPAINTER IF:

* If your shop has been mistaken for a recycling center

* If your boom truck has not left the driveway in 15 years

* If the Salvation Army declines your mattress

* If you have the local taxidermist on speed dial

* If you keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table

* If your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list

* If you've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys

* If you think a subdivision is part of a math problem

* If you've clean up after work with flea and tick soap

* If you've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog

* If you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture

* If you took a fishing pole to Sea World

* If you go to the stock car races and lettered most of the cars

* If you know how many sheets of MDO your car will hold

* If you wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean

* If you can spit without opening your mouth

* If you consider your license plate personalized because your father made
it

* If you think Dom Perigon is a Mafia leader

* If your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand

* If you sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota

[Eek!]

--------------------
Si Allen #562
La Mirada, CA. USA

(714) 521-4810

si.allen on Skype

siallen@dslextreme.com

"SignPainters do It with Longer Strokes!"

Never mess with your profile while in a drunken stupor!!!

Brushasaurus on Chat

Posts: 8831 | From: La Mirada, CA, USA | Registered: Nov 1998 | IP: Logged |

John Thompson
Visitor
Member # 2750

posted

If...........

The walls in your "house/trailer" are made of coro-plas and MDO

You used left over one shot to paint your kitchen

You buy most of your sign supplies at wal-mart

You used scrap vinyl as wall paper

You use a Buck Knife instead of an Exacto Knife

When you run out of Rapid-Tac you just mix Bud Light and water to make some more

Your clipart collection consists of 99.9% deer and fish outlines

Your Shop sign is an 18 X 24 real estate sign

You use your sandblaster to sandblast the rust off of your cars more than you do to make signs

You have to buy an air grinder to cut you toenails

That your idea of washing colthes is spraying them with Rapid Tac because you don't have any Febreeze

You sold your shop truck to buy a Bass boat and then you figured out that you didn't have anything to pull the boat with

You have made 10,000 signs in you careers lifetime and everyone of them was a white background with black arial fonts

You had to take you sheets and pillows off of your
weeding to get started to work this morning.

--------------------
John Thompson
JTT Graphics
"The big guy with a little sign shop!"
Royston/Hartwell Georgia
jtt101@hotmail.com

Posts: 626 | From: Royston Georgia | Registered: Feb 2002 | IP: Logged |

cheryl nordby
Visitor
Member # 1100

posted

Underneath your trampoline you have a big old banner to keep the weeds down.

Posts: 3729 | From: Seattle | Registered: Sep 1999 | IP: Logged |

Curtis hammond
Visitor
Member # 2170

posted

IF........

everything you mail out is wrapped in boxes made of coroplast....

--------------------
Leaper of Tall buildings.. If you find my posts divisive or otherwise snarky please ignore them. If you do not know how then PM me about it and I will demonstrate.

Posts: 5274 | From: Im a nowhere man | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged |

Glenn Taylor
Visitor
Member # 162

posted

If....

You read these posts and begin to wonder if they've been snooping around your shop and were too flabbergasted to stop in and say hello.

--------------------
BlueDog Graphics
Wilson, NC

www.BlueDogUSA.com

Warning: A well designed sign may cause fatigue due to increased business.

Posts: 10691 | From: Wilson, NC, USA | Registered: Nov 1998 | IP: Logged |

VICTORGEORGIOU
Visitor
Member # 474

posted

Si, when did Dom Perignon retire from the Mafia? You sure he's not still around? Vic G

--------------------
Victor Georgiou
Danville, CA , USA

Posts: 1746 | From: Danville, CA , USA | Registered: Dec 1998 | IP: Logged |

goddinfla
Visitor
Member # 1502

posted

Glenn, you shouldn't have posted pics of your shop on another post. You were the inspiration for this post. By the way do you mind if I call you "Opie"?

[ June 24, 2002, 05:03 PM: Message edited by: goddinfla ]

--------------------
Dennis Goddard

Gibsonton Fl

Posts: 1050 | From: Tampa Fl USA | Registered: Apr 2000 | IP: Logged |

Glenn Taylor
Visitor
Member # 162

posted

Just let me dye my hair red and paint some freckles on first. [Big Grin]

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

There. How's that?

[Smile]

--------------------
BlueDog Graphics
Wilson, NC

www.BlueDogUSA.com

Warning: A well designed sign may cause fatigue due to increased business.

Posts: 10691 | From: Wilson, NC, USA | Registered: Nov 1998 | IP: Logged |

Tony Broussard
Visitor
Member # 935

posted

You might be a redneck signmaker if you finance a new sign shop and your friends have to help you take the wheels off of it. [Smile]

--------------------
Tony Broussard
Graphic Details Digital Media
Loreauville, LA

Posts: 395 | From: Loreauville, LA | Registered: Jul 1999 | IP: Logged |

John Thompson
Visitor
Member # 2750

posted

Thats why everybody thinks I'm a redneck, cause my sign shop is in a trailer! Now I know what is wrong with me after all these years of wondering.....Trailer + Georgia = REDNECK. And to think I thought that I was just dropped on my head as a kid. Oh by the way, I got some fresh cooked possum 'night, 'morrorw it'll be 'coon-a-cue.

Got one more..

You might be a redneck sign maker if......
your new logo has a 'coon in it

[ June 24, 2002, 07:59 PM: Message edited by: John Thompson ]

--------------------
John Thompson
JTT Graphics
"The big guy with a little sign shop!"
Royston/Hartwell Georgia
jtt101@hotmail.com

Posts: 626 | From: Royston Georgia | Registered: Feb 2002 | IP: Logged |

Amy Brown
Visitor
Member # 1963

posted

If your shop is in Kingsland, GA! HA HA HA! Where's John? Heck, where's Kelvin? [Big Grin]

--------------------
Amy Brown
Life Skills 101
Private Address

Posts: 3502 | From: Lake Helen, FL, USA | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged |

goddinfla
Visitor
Member # 1502

posted

John's probably takin' a ride in the Kelvinator. Maybe he'll get somebody to read this to him soon. haha

--------------------
Dennis Goddard

Gibsonton Fl

Posts: 1050 | From: Tampa Fl USA | Registered: Apr 2000 | IP: Logged |

Cheryl Lucas
Visitor
Member # 1656

posted

Ya might be a redneck sign guy if:

Ya hang yer banners out to dry on yer clothesline.

ya clean yer teeth with an exacto knife.

ya use duct tape instead of bandades.

yer scrap pile is bigger than yer 'good' pile.

yer mamma's Mothers' Day gift is a reject sign project.

yer missin' yer 'big toe' and 'forefinger' cuz ya were clumzy and agressive with yer exacto knife.

yer shop floor is 'dirt'.

yer shop dog eats better than you do.

there's tobacco stains on yer shop floor.

ya call telephone repair every time yer phone is disconnected.

ya believe the lightin' storm is the reason yer electric is disconnected

ya have chickens grazin' in the shop yard.

ya have 5 phones in yer shop and only pay for one phone line.

everyone gathers around on Friday afternoons bettin' on who will win the weekends Nascar race.

when ya use cheap bottles of wine for bookends.

when ya save boxes and bubble wrap for a place to sleep, when yer in the dog house.

when ya p*ss outside cuz ya feel confined in the shop bathroom, or didn't wanna use the sink.

when ya have target practice on a competitors crappy sign.

when ya have an oscilating fan instead of air conditioning.

ya wear yer sandblastin' helmet when ya go 4-wheelin'.

ya save all yer calendars cuz ya know that you'll be able to use em again.

yer shop rags are full of grease, from fixin' yer shop truck, again!

yer excuse for bein' late to the jobsite is cuz ya had to take mamma to the dentist.

yer farts stink cuz you've been eatin' beans and cabbage for the 5th night in a row.

yer neighbors thik ya own a truckin' business.

SOMBODY STOP ME, PLEASE... :0

[ June 24, 2002, 09:27 PM: Message edited by: Cheryl Lucas ]

--------------------
Co-Host:
SANDCASTLE Panel Jam
'a Dixie Letterhead Reunion'
Fort Myers, Florida

Cheryl Lucas a/k/a "Shag" on mIRC
Vital Signs & Graphics, Etc.
Cape Coral, Florida
239-574-4713
VSignsNgraphics@aol.com

Posts: 987 | From: Cape Coral, FL USA | Registered: Aug 2000 | IP: Logged |

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