posted
Well Heads, I've received some pretty interesting things to cheer me up lately. Here's one of them. I hope I'm not offending anyone with this, that's not my intention. As a matter of fact, I'd love to see a flip-side of this created LOL.
40 Things You'll Never Hear a Southerner Say ********************************************
1. Oh, I just couldn't. Hell, she's only 16.
2. I'll take Shakespeare for 1,000, Alex.
3. Duct tape won't fix that!
4. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael!
5. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
6. We don't keep firearms in this house!
7. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
8. You can't feed that to a dog!
9. I thought Graceland was tacky.
10. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's not safe!
11.Wrasslin's fake.
12. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
13. We're vegetarians.
14. Do you think my gut's too big?
15. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
16. Honey, we don't need another dog.
17. Who's Richard Petty?
18. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
19. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
20. Spittin is just a nasty habit.
21. I just couldn't find a thing in Walmart today!
22. Trim the fat off that steak!
23. Cappuccino tastes better than expresso.
24. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
25. I've got it all on the C drive.
26. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
27. Would you like your salmon poached or boiled.
28. My fiance, Bobbi Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
29. I've got 2 cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
30. Little Debbie Snack Cakes have too many fat grams.
31. Checkmate.
32. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
33. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
34. Hay! There's an episode of Hee-Haw that we haven't already seen.
35. I don't have a favorite college team.
36. Be sure to bring my dressing on the side.
37. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
38. Those shorts ought to be a little longer Darla!
posted
Yall are TOOO funny! The sad side of this is that you REALLY are a redneck if you own every tape that what's his name put out (the you might be a redneck guy) because he is your hero and you think the whole world is laughing with you and not at you while you listen to him.
Linda, something else you will never hear is, "Honey, get off that lawn mower it is too hot for a lady to be cuttin' grass," Or: "Yes dear, I think you should go back to college." "Of course I don't mind if you make more money than me." "Darling I certainly DID notice that you died your hair purple and lost 25 pounds.
-------------------- Kathy Joiner River Road Graphics 41628 River Road Ponchatoula, La.70454
Old enough to know better...Too young to resist. Posts: 1891 | From: Ponchatoula, LA | Registered: Nov 2000
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posted
My dad passed away over 15 years ago and he clipped every recipe from the paper or magazine that looked good and kept it on his end table. I can still hear him saying. . . .. don't throw that out!! Your mama is gonna fix it for me some day !!! Nuff said......
-------------------- John Smith Kings Bay Signs (Retired) Kissimmee, Florida Posts: 816 | From: Central Florida - The Sunshine State | Registered: Jan 2000
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