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> > > SO, YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE TOUGH ENOUGH TO TRY TO LEARN ENGLISH? > > > > > > This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the > > > brave. It was passed on by a linguist, original author unknown. It > has > > > also appeared in a jazz recitation, as "English is cra-a-a-a-zy." > Peruse > > > at your leisure, English lovers. > > > > > > Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: > > > 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. > > > 2) The farm was used to produce produce. > > > 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. > > > 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. > > > 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. > > > 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. > > > 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to > > > present the present. > > > 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. > > > 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. > > > 10) I did not object to the object. > > > 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. > > > 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. > > > 13) They were too close to the door to close it. > > > 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. > > > 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. > > > 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. > > > 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. > > > 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. > > > 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. > > > 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. > > > 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? > > > > > > Let's face it - English is a crazy language. > > > > > > There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor > pine > > > in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French > fries > > > in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't > sweet, > > > are meat. > > > > > > We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find > > > that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea > pig > > > is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. > > > > > > And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers > don't > > > groce and hammers don't ham? Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick?" > > > > > > If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? > One > > > goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't > it > > > seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? > > > > > > If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of > them, > > > what do you call it? > > > > > > If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian > eats > > > vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? > > > > > > Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an > > > asylum for the verbally insane. > > > > > > In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? > > > Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? > > > Have noses that run and feet that smell? > > > How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, > > > while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? > > > > > > You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your > house > > > can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling > it > > > out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. > > > > > > English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the > > > creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. > > > > > > That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the > > > lights are out, they are invisible. > > > > > > Ok, now try to learn polish and we'll see how well you do :-)
-------------------- joe pribish-A SIGN MINT 2811 longleaf Dr. pensacola, fl 32526 850-637-1519 BEWARE THE TRUTH.....YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU FIND Posts: 11582 | From: pensacola, fl. usa | Registered: Nov 1998
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no..cause a parkway in diffenition is a faster way to get from one parking lot to another.....hehehehhe
-------------------- joe pribish-A SIGN MINT 2811 longleaf Dr. pensacola, fl 32526 850-637-1519 BEWARE THE TRUTH.....YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU FIND Posts: 11582 | From: pensacola, fl. usa | Registered: Nov 1998
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just thought of another word.... you can lay down and "rest" with the "rest" of them.
-------------------- joe pribish-A SIGN MINT 2811 longleaf Dr. pensacola, fl 32526 850-637-1519 BEWARE THE TRUTH.....YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU FIND Posts: 11582 | From: pensacola, fl. usa | Registered: Nov 1998
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