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Author Topic: OT... Holiday Funny...OT
Si Allen
Resident


Member # 420

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So you think you have problems hiring good employees?? Read on :


These individual quotes were taken from actual employee performance
evaluations in a large US Corporation.
>> >
(1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom.....and
has started to dig."
(2) "His men would follow him anywhere, ....... but only out of morbid
curiosity."
(3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."
(4) "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a
definite 'won't be.'"
(5) "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat
in a trap."
(6) "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
(7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
(8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
(9) "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
achieve them."
(10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
(11) "This employee should go far, ..... and the sooner he starts, the
better."
(12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all
together."
(13) "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
(14) "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."
(15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
(16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
(17) "He's been working with glue too much."
(18) "He would argue with a signpost."
(19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
(20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
(21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
(22) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, .....he's the
other one."
(23) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
(24) "A prime candidate for natural deselection."
(25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
(26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
(27) "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
(28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
(29) "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
(30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans."
(31) "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg."
(32) "One neuron short of a synapse."
(33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge;..... he only gargled."
(34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
(35) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

_

------------------
Si Allen #562
La Mirada, CA. USA
(714) 521-4810
ICQ # 330407
"SignPainters do It with Longer Strokes!"

Brushasaurus on Chat

Gladly supporting this BB !


Posts: 8831 | From: La Mirada, CA, USA | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mike Languein
Visitor
Member # 319

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Hey, I know that guy!

------------------
"If it isn't fun, why do it?"
Signmike@aol.com
Mike Languein
Doctor of Letters
BS, MS, PhD
___________________

You know what BS is, MS is More of the Same, and it's Piled Higher and Deeper here


Posts: 1859 | From: / | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dave Grundy
Resident


Member # 103

Icon 6 posted      Profile for Dave Grundy   Author's Homepage   Email Dave Grundy   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Si!!!!!!..I take exception to you accessing my personal past employment records!!!!!!

The reason that I decided to be "self-employed" was to rid myself of evaluations like that!

------------------
Dave Grundy
AKA "applicator" on mIRC
"stickin' sticky stuff to valuable vessels and vehicles!"
in Granton, Ontario, Canada
1-519-225-2634
dave.grundy@quadro.net
www.quadro.net/~shirley

[This message has been edited by Dave Grundy (edited July 04, 2001).]


Posts: 8880 | From: Chelem, Yucatan, Mexico/Hensall, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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