posted
Found this in my Email today, thought some of you might like a laugh.
LEMON PICKING
A woman went to a Florida lemon grove to apply for a job, but the foreman thought she seemed way too qualified for the position. "Do you even have any actual experience picking lemons?" he asked.
"Well, I think I do." she replied. "I've been divorced three times."
LIFE'S REFLECTIONS
1. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
2. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
3. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
4. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
5. Ever notice that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
6. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.
7. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
8. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
------------------ DrQuill - Mural Woman PEACE SIGNS logodesign2@icqmail.com Georgia, USA
[This message has been edited by Linda Silver Eagle (edited April 02, 2001).]
posted
how about this one? Two fonts decide to go into a bar for a drink. As they walk in, the bar tender yells "Get out! We don't want your type in here!"
Well, I thought it was funny when I heard it...
Bill Krupinski www.artfirststudio.com Jefferson, Wi "Mere minutes from the Milwaukee Panel Jam"
------------------ wizitude
Posts: 95 | From: Jefferson, WI USA | Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
So....a string walks into a bar,orders a drink..Bartender says"we dont serve strings" the string walks out,fuzzies his top n bottom,contorts hisself into a hell of a mess. Back to the bar... string......Gimmie a drink Bartender...hey arent you the string that I just bounced. String ...."naw......Im a 'freyed knot!"
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