.....that Violates the Rules (sorry Dave 
)......Idiot #1 - I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little two year old daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful there was not a need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to say that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that now she should bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away.
Idiot #2 - Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, they were surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Idiot #3 - A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and would call the police before he reached the tellers window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note that it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Idiot #4 - A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed zone, it not only measured his speed using radar it also photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40.00 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.00. Several days later, he received another letter from the police dept. that contained a picture of handcuffs. He paid the $40.00.
Idiot #5 - Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. So he told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said, " I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, agreed that the man was in fact over 21 he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave them the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
Idiot #6 - A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
Idiot #7 - Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
This post has been sanitized for your protection.
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[This message has been edited by Glenn Taylor (edited March 04, 2001).]
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