Imagine what this page looked like with a spellchecker gig goin on! (Surprisingly, “gig” is one of the few words on here that isn’t red-lined hahaha!)

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:

1. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.

2 Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Foreploy; Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

4. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person...who didn’t get it.

6. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitus: Terminal Coolness.

8. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)

9. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a
serious bummer.

10. Glibido: All talk and no action.

11. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

And, the pick of the literature:
12. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.

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on chat T2

Gail & Dave
NSW Australia

taurus_signs@one.net.au

sumtimes ya just gota

WASHINGTON POST VOCABULARY CONTEST

The Washington Post recently published a contest for
readers in which they were asked to supply alternative
meanings for various words.
The following were some of the winning entries:

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flatstomach.

Carcinoma (n.), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor
assumed by a proctologist immediately before he
examines you.

Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.

Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

Frisbatarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die,
your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

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Linda Silver Eagle
Peace Signs
Georgia, USA

ICQ# 60434646

logodesign2@icqmail.com

RADAR OH REALLY
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 10-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD". The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket full of change. (And we used to just sell lemonade.)

PICTURE PERFECT CRIME
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of Handcuffs.

THAT'S THE TICKET!!!!!
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball." He replied, "Highway Patrolmen don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car for several minutes.

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Linda Silver Eagle
Peace Signs
Georgia, USA

ICQ# 60434646

logodesign2@icqmail.com