posted
I found this in my email and felt compelled to share.
Take a stress break....
Once upon a time there was a shepherd tending his sheep at the edge of a country road. A brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee screeches to a halt next to him. The driver, a young man dressed in a Briani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, Jovial Swiss wrist watch, and a Bhs tie gets out and asks the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"
The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the sprawling field of sheep and says, "Okay."
The young man parks the SUV, connects his notebook and wireless modem, enters a NASA site, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms, then prints a 150 page report on his high tech mini printer. He then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."
The shepherd answers, "That's correct! You can have your sheep." The young man takes one of the animals and puts it in the back of his vehicle. The shepherd looks at him and asks, "Now, if I guess your profession, will you pay me back in kind?"
The young man answers, "Sure."
The shepherd says, "You are a consultant."
"Exactly! How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called.
Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew.
Third, you don't understand anything about my business - and I'd really like to have my dog back."
------------------ Linda Silver Eagle Silver Eagle Graphix Studio Georgia, USA
ICQ# 60434646
Signwriters never die...they've always got 1-Shot left!
posted
Thats too funny! My brother is a consultant, I always poke fun at him because he cant really explain what he does for a living! Thanks for the laugh....
------------------ Brian Stoddard Expressions Signs A few puddles east of Seattle
Posts: 790 | From: Monroe, WA | Registered: Nov 1998
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posted
Yeah laughter is good medicine. That was very funny!! I just read an interesting statistic that reports if you laugh for at least twenty minutes a day you will enjoy at least 2 hours of restful sleep.
------------------ There is nothing new under the sun. What will be has already been and has been will be again. Daniel R. Perez Daniez Dzines Fresno, CA daniez2001@yahoo.com
Posts: 299 | From: Fresno, CA, USA | Registered: Jun 2000
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I dumped a few customers because they were consultants not because of their profession, but because they wanted to squeeze a deal out of my time and consulting and not pay me for the consultation! Deb I didn't make any money off him but I didn't lose any either!
------------------ Deb Creative Signs
Posts: 5373 | From: Loves Park, Illinois | Registered: Aug 1999
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posted
HAHAHA.I really like that one, and it is relative to me. the company i work for hired a consulting service a few years ago. I hear they spent over 10K to this consulting firm. the consultant observed the department that I work in for a week, told the higher ups to cut my wages and increase the customer labor rate.I did accept a pay cut half of what they wanted and refused anything less. the consultant then said they should change paint suppliers, we tried the product and it was less productive, and that pi##ed me off. I went on the web, gathered info from people in my trade about the paint supplier (about 80% bad reviews), showed them all to the owners. the consultants told them to fire me. I found an advertisement in a trade magazine for the paint company in question, they boasted of this famous consulting firm as being partners in a winning system for business, the name for the consulting firm was spelled wrong in the ad!! of course i showed that to the higher ups too.In other departments at the company we lost employees and customers for quite a while. In my opinion they were A Tricky CON job.
MOMMY'S LITTLE ANGEL An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"
The boy thought it over and said,"Well, I'll just run in and out, and in and out, and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"
A STORMY RELATIONSHIP One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't " she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
LOSING FACE Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground. Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
------------------ Linda Silver Eagle Silver Eagle Graphix Studio Georgia, USA
ICQ# 60434646
Signwriters never die...they've always got 1-Shot left!
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