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An old couple are having a homemade dinner with their friend George. Upon finishing the meal, the two guys amble to the living room to talk "shop", and the wife starts clearing the table. In the course of their conversation, the Host tells George about this great dinner he and his wife enjoyed at this new Restaurant they tried. George asked "Whats the name of the place?" In attempting to remember, he said "What's the name of that red flower?" George answered "CARNATION?" "No, the other one! The one with thorns!" George answered, "Oh....ROSE!" The host turned his head toward the kitchen and shouted "HEY ROSE.......What's the name of that new Restaurant?!
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A New York City cop on a horse was riding thru Central Park when he came upon a geezer sittin' on a park bench who was cryin' his brains out. The cop said, "What's the matter, little old man?" The little old man said, "I'm married to a beautiful 26 year old woman whose a model. She supports me financially, cooks for me and satisfies my every need!(sob sob sob)"
"Well if that so little old man, why are you crying?"
The old geezer, now sobbing uncontrolably, said "um-um-ftz-sob-sob, I I I can't remember where I live!"
-------------------- Bill Diaz Diaz Sign Art Pontiac IL www.diazsignart.com Posts: 2107 | From: Pontiac, IL | Registered: Dec 2001
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Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loves to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed down the longcorridors. Because she and her fellow residents are one sandwich short of a picnic, they all tolerate each other, some of the males actually join in. One day, Ethel was speeding along one corridor when adoor opened and Mad Mike stepped out of his room with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he said in a firm voice. "Have you got a license to drive that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag, pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near t he TV lounge on one wheel, Weird William popped out in front of her and shouted, "STOP!" Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a beer coaster and held it up to him William nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am". As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Bonkers Bob stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizeable erection in his hand. "Oh, no!" said Ethel, "Not the breathalyser again!"
-------------------- Si Allen #562 La Mirada, CA. USA
(714) 521-4810
si.allen on Skype
siallen@dslextreme.com
"SignPainters do It with Longer Strokes!"
Never mess with your profile while in a drunken stupor!!!
Brushasaurus on Chat Posts: 8827 | From: La Mirada, CA, USA | Registered: Nov 1998
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-------------------- Jane Diaz Diaz Sign Art 628 W. Lincoln Ave. Pontiac, Il. 61764 815-844-7024 www.diazsignart.com Posts: 4102 | From: Pontiac, IL USA | Registered: Feb 1999
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A HUSBAND AND WIFE SITTING IN THEIR OWN ROCKING CHAIRS ON THE FRONT PORCH CELEBRATING THEIR 50TH ANNIVERSARY. THE OLD LADY REACHES OVER AND LANDS A HAYMAKER ON THE OLD BOYS CHIN KNOCKING HIM TO THE FLOOR. "WHAT'S that FOR?" HE CRIED WITH DISMAY. "THAT'S FOR 5O YEARS OF LOUSY SEX!"
He gets back in his rocker......some minutes go by, and the old man reaches over and clobbers the old lady! "What's THAT for?" she shouted. The old boy said "That's fer knowin the difference!!!!!"
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