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» The Letterville BullBoard » Old Archives » Pointless Points to Ponder

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Author Topic: Pointless Points to Ponder
Kissymatina
Resident


Member # 2028

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If I join the phone company's Friends & Family plan will they give me a little brother? I've always wanted a little brother.

How come when I call information they can't tell me where I left the remote?

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, who do they call?

Why do they call it chili when it burns your mouth?

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Chris Welker
Wildfire Signs
Indiana, Pa

Posts: 4254 | From: Indiana, PA | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
James Donahue
Resident


Member # 3624

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The 911 question reminds me of a "Herman" cartoon I saw: a bunch of protesters were walking around with blank placards. Turns out they were union sign painters on strike!

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James Donahue
Donahue Sign Arts
1851 E. Union Valley Rd.
Seymour TN. (865) 577-3365 brushman@nxs.net

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what's for lunch,
Benjamin Franklin

Posts: 2057 | From: 1033 W. Union Valley Rd. | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jon Butterworth
Deceased


Member # 227

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Kissy has given you SMALL sample of the subject debated on chat tonight [Smile]

It was instigated by no other than the Prince of Humour ... Spyke. [Applause]

See if I can remember some others. They were flying thick and fast at the time.

If a deaf man goes to court ... does he get a fair hearing.?

If a blind man goes to court ... can he see justice being done?

If a cripple goes to court ... can he plead "I don't have a good leg to stand on"?

Is a "hung Jury" realy hanged?

And one of Spykes: If they used to have no smoking areas in planes ... where did the smoke know where to stop!

Finally: If the Red Cross saves little children, does Michael Jackson donate to them in hope of getting one?

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Bushie^
aka Jon Butterworth

Executive Director
HARDLY NORMAL
SIGN COMPANY

http://www.icr.com.au/~jonsigns

Posts: 4014 | From: Toowoomba, Queensland, Australia | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bill Diaz
Resident


Member # 2549

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Why is a mouse when it spins?

--------------------
Bill Diaz
Diaz Sign Art
Pontiac IL
www.diazsignart.com

Posts: 2107 | From: Pontiac, IL | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dana Bowers
Resident


Member # 780

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TOO FUNNY!!! Every Saturday I work in the infirmary. One of the first things I do is write the 'question of the week' on the infirmary board. Everyone is in the habit of coming in to see what it is! I've done this for probably close to a year now... is getting harder to come up with new stuff, so now I 'cheat' and look them up online.

This is one of my favorite sites... Bored.com

One of my favorites...
If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? [Razz]

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Dana Ferry
St Cloud, MN

Posts: 1556 | From: St Cloud, MN | Registered: May 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ray Rheaume
Resident


Member # 3794

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Been dumping spare change into a wishing well for years, always wishing for a BMW. By now, I coulda just bought it.

How come if you break a crumb in half, you don't get 2 1/2 crumbs, you get 2 crumbs?

When a perfectly healthy person parks in a handicapped space, maybe we should break their leg. They would learn a lesson AND be qualified to park there.

Why does morning have to start so early? (I didn't wanna get up yet)

What do you call a person who hangs around with musicians?
...a drummer.

I need coffee in the worst way...
Rapid

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Ray Rheaume
Rapidfire Design
543 Brushwood Road
North Haverhill, NH 03774
rapidfiredesign@hotmail.com
603-787-6803

I like my paint shaken, not stirred.

Posts: 5648 | From: North Haverhill, New Hampshire | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Donald Thompson
Resident


Member # 3726

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Why do they call a hot water heater that when you don't need to heat hot water. It should be called a cold water heater?
Why do you drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?


Ray,
I like the handicapped parking space idea.

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Donald Thompson
#1 Sign Designs
580 Templeton Rd.
Laurens,SC 29360
864-682-7810
1signdesigns@backroads.net
www.1signdesigns.com

Posts: 1525 | From: Laurens, SC | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bill Diaz
Resident


Member # 2549

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Have you ever heard the expression, "Ignorance of the law is no excuse?"

If that was so, why would it take lawyers 3 years to complete law school? The supreme court must be supremely ignorant, then, because they are appointed for life to interpret the laws that they have no excuse for not knowing.

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Bill Diaz
Diaz Sign Art
Pontiac IL
www.diazsignart.com

Posts: 2107 | From: Pontiac, IL | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
David Fisher
Visitor
Member # 107

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Hey Ray,
I heard two roadies discussing the best way to tell of the stage was level.
They both agreed that when the drool was running out of both sides of the drummers mouth then it was level.

--------------------
David Fisher
D.A. & P.M. Fisher Services
Brisbane Australia
da_pmf@yahoo.com
Trying out a new tag:
"Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth
Peter Ustinov

Posts: 1450 | From: Brisbane Queensland Australia | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mark Higdon
Visitor
Member # 2990

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What's the number for 911?

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Mark " Magic" Higdon
Magic Kustom Graphix
18025 Elton
Alvin, Tx 77511

Posts: 72 | From: Houston, Tx | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ray Rheaume
Resident


Member # 3794

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David,

My sides are splitting here....too funny. [Thanks]

I'm gonna go out to the shop and play for a while and see if the floor has been shifting.

LMAO
Rapid

--------------------
Ray Rheaume
Rapidfire Design
543 Brushwood Road
North Haverhill, NH 03774
rapidfiredesign@hotmail.com
603-787-6803

I like my paint shaken, not stirred.

Posts: 5648 | From: North Haverhill, New Hampshire | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
John Stagner
Visitor
Member # 4091

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Hey, my sister's married to a drummer. She said that ain't funny! But, then again, she IS married to a drummer.

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John Stagner
Action Graphics
Salem, MO
agraphics02@earthlink.net

Posts: 98 | From: Salem, Missouri | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mark Yearwood
Visitor
Member # 2723

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Hey, Ray! I'm a drummer and I resemble that remark.

Why do they put a toll booth in the middle of a freeway?

Why do they call it a drive-thru when you really drive up....and call a shooting a drive-by?

Why do you always run out of milk before you run out of cereal?

Why do you always run out of that "mixed on the fly" color of paint on the last sheet of material for that big sign?

Why does the phone only ring after wetting a brush?

--------------------
Mark Yearwood
Yearwood Design Works
Tecumseh, OK
www.yearwooddesignworks.com
www.markyearwood.com

Posts: 1027 | From: Tecumseh, OK | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
James Donahue
Resident


Member # 3624

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I don't know if exhaustion gets to what brain I have, but I was driving past a seafood restaurant last week. I saw the banner that said:"Battered Shrimp", and I wondered :"Why do they do that to those poor shrimp?" Seriously.

--------------------
James Donahue
Donahue Sign Arts
1851 E. Union Valley Rd.
Seymour TN. (865) 577-3365 brushman@nxs.net

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what's for lunch,
Benjamin Franklin

Posts: 2057 | From: 1033 W. Union Valley Rd. | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kissymatina
Resident


Member # 2028

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If carports are for parking cars, shouldn't airports be called planeports instead?

--------------------
Chris Welker
Wildfire Signs
Indiana, Pa

Posts: 4254 | From: Indiana, PA | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ed Williams
Visitor
Member # 846

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Why does buttered bread always fall butter side down????

--------------------
Ed CJ Williams
CJ Graffx
Christiana,Pa.
cjgraffx@comcast.net
Just have'n fun....

Posts: 296 | From: Christiana,Pa. | Registered: May 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ed Williams
Visitor
Member # 846

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Why does an exacto knife always fall blade side down?

Why do you scratch your nose with the finger that has the paint on it? ( well maybe that one is just me )

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Ed CJ Williams
CJ Graffx
Christiana,Pa.
cjgraffx@comcast.net
Just have'n fun....

Posts: 296 | From: Christiana,Pa. | Registered: May 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Laura Butler
Visitor
Member # 1830

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Why do they chain down the pens at the bank but yet leave the vault open?

Dana, I have a ridule for you. I just heard it the other day on TV or somewhere.

If a man leaves home, makes 3 left turns and is back home again, what is his occupation?

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Laura Butler
Vision Graphics & Sign
4479 Welch Rd
Attica, Mi 48412

Posts: 2855 | From: Attica, Mi, USA | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bruce Bowers
Resident


Member # 892

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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

My guess would be a baseball player.

Hey, what do I know... I'm just a sign painter.

--------------------
Bruce Bowers

DrCAS Custom Lettering and Design
Saint Cloud, Minnesota


"Things work out best for the people who make the best of the way things work out." - Art Linkletter

Posts: 6451 | From: Saint Cloud, Minnesota | Registered: Jun 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dana Bowers
Resident


Member # 780

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Figures he would beat me to it...

Mark - I actually have a listing at work for the phone numbers to 911! When I sit in dispatch, quite often my officers are in different cities then me. So if they need backup, I have the direct phone numbers to the different 911 operators for each city.

Why is stuff sent in a car called a shipment, but stuff sent in a ship called cargo?

Why is it called rush hour if everyone is going so slow?

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Do claustrophobics becomes astronauts because they need more space?

If a mime is arrested, does he have the right to remain silent?

If you shoot a mime, do you need to use a silencer?

Why aren't there B batteries?

Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters?

What happened to preparations A - G?

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Dana Ferry
St Cloud, MN

Posts: 1556 | From: St Cloud, MN | Registered: May 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mike Lavallee
Visitor
Member # 320

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why don't sheep shrink in the rain?

why do they call shimp JUMBO?

why doe's my dog stick her head out of the window of the car but is terrified of the hair dryer?

--------------------
Work like you don't need the money, Love like you've never been hurt, And Dance like no one's watching. :)
Mike Lavallee
Mike Lavallee's Pinstriping & Airbrush Art
Everett, WA

Posts: 449 | From: Everett, WA | Registered: Dec 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mike O'Neill
Resident


Member # 470

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and my favorite Carlinism

-if you have 24 odds & ends on a table and 23 fall off what do you have left, an odd or an end?

--------------------
Mike O'Neill


It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.
- Arthur C. Clarke


mike@copyshop.ca

Posts: 3094 | From: Labrador City, NF, Canada | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
John Cordova
Visitor
Member # 220

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In a stadium, why do they call them "grandstands" if you sit down?

If you were to eat a clown, would it taste funny?

--------------------
John Cordova
Gitano Design Studio
Albuquerque, NM

Posts: 268 | From: Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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