posted
There are two kind so pedestrians-the quick and the dead. Some people are like Slinkies...they're not really good for anything but you just can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. Health nuts are going to feel stupid one day lying in the hospital dying of nothing. Life is sexually transmitted. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. Give a person a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach the person to use the internet and he won't bother you for weeks. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars but a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents? In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world IS weird and we take Prozac to make it normal. You read about all these terrorists-most of them came here legally but they just hung around on these expired visa, some of them 10-15 years. Now compare that to Blockbuster. You are two days late with your video and those people are all over you! I say let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration! When I feel blue, I start breathing again. And this one is a true story.. I was at a dinner with a vegetarian across the table from me. When I ordered chicken, she made a comment about how she didn't see how anyone could eat a living thing. I told her my job when I was small on the farm was to take care of the chickens. I told her, "They aren't very nice animals and I eat them just out of spite!" She didn't talk to me the rest of the night...go figure!
-------------------- Jane Diaz Diaz Sign Art 628 W. Lincoln Ave. Pontiac, Il. 61764 815-844-7024 www.diazsignart.com Posts: 4102 | From: Pontiac, IL USA | Registered: Feb 1999
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-------------------- "Are we having fun yet?" Peter Schuttinga DZines Sign Studio 1617 Millstream rd Victoria BC V9B-6G4 Posts: 521 | From: Victoria BC | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
I wonder if we can get Adrienne Morgan talking chickens here?!!!
-------------------- Drane Signs Sunshine Coast Nambour, Qld. dranesigns@bigpond.com Downunder "To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer" Posts: 965 | From: Nambour, Qld. Australia | Registered: Nov 1998
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posted
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out easily, it's a valuable plant. Get the last word. Apologize. Have you noticed since everyone has camcorders these day, no one talks about seeing UFOs anymore? How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a camp fire? .....just wondering!
-------------------- Jane Diaz Diaz Sign Art 628 W. Lincoln Ave. Pontiac, Il. 61764 815-844-7024 www.diazsignart.com Posts: 4102 | From: Pontiac, IL USA | Registered: Feb 1999
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""Good judgment comes from experience; and a lot of that comes from bad judgment" - Will Rogers Posts: 3489 | From: Beautiful Newaygo, Michigan | Registered: Mar 2003
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Regarding ruts: A rut it just a grave with the ends kicked out.
Regarding depth: I'm always in the ****, its only the depth that varies
David
Damn typos
[ September 19, 2003, 09:45 AM: Message edited by: David Fisher ]
-------------------- David Fisher D.A. & P.M. Fisher Services Brisbane Australia da_pmf@yahoo.com Trying out a new tag: "Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth Peter Ustinov Posts: 1450 | From: Brisbane Queensland Australia | Registered: Nov 1998
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posted
LOL Jane!! Have you written a book yet? You ought to, this post was a hoot!!! By the way, tell the veggie you don't eat "living" things 'cuz it's always dead by the time it's on your plate. Ever notice how a lot'a veggitarians seem to comment, scold and basically force their opinion about your meal on you 'til it's an ISSUE but if your with just about anybody else or a meat eater and you order just a salad they don't usually even notice what yer eatin'. I guess it's 'cuz it means MORE meat for them. I guess it's 'cuz they're lost in a completely animalistic, ravenous feast....
-------------------- Signs Sweet Home Alabama
oneshot on chat
"Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man, work like a dog" Posts: 5758 | From: "Sweet Home" Alabama | Registered: Mar 2003
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