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> > The Battle > > > > In the beginning God populated the earth with broccoli > > and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all >kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. > > > > Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and >Krispy >Creme. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And man said "Yes!" >and woman said, "I'll have another with sprinkles." And lo they gained 10 >pounds. > > > > And God created the healthful yogurt that woman might keep the figure >that >man found so fair. > > > > And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the >cane, and combined them. And woman went from size 2 to size 6. > > > > So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." > > > > And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on the >side. >And man and woman unfastened their belts following the repast. > > > > God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil >in >which to cook them." > > > > And Satan brought forth deep fried shrimp and catfish and chicken-fried >steak so big it needed its own platter. And > > man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. > > > > God then brought forth running shoes so that his children might lose >those >extra pounds. > > > > And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would >not >have to toil changing the channels. And man and woman laughed and cried >before the flickering light and piled on the pounds. > > > > Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming >with >potassium and good nutrition. > > > > Then Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center >into chips and deep-fried them and added copious quantities of salt. And >man >put on more pounds. > > > > God then gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer calories and >still >satisfy his appetite. > > > > And Satan created McDonald's and the 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then >Lucifer said, "You want fries with that?" and man replied, "Yes! And super >size 'em!" And Satan said "It is good." And man went into cardiac arrest. > > > > God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. > > > > And Satan created HMOs
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