posted
From my parents, I learned about optimism early on. Nothing my mom looked at was all that negative, she steered in the direction of overcoming obstacles in her diligent positive way. She's so optimistic to this day, some days I roll my eyes. Then I catch myself talking like her and woa... I was never going to be like my mom, rememeber? LOL!
My upbringing was pretty much like Leave it to Beaver, happy go lucky upbeat stuff.
What woke me up to all of this lately was getting together with my friend I grew up with all my life. The stories she told me about my quiet neighbourhood have me shocked beyond belief.
I learned she saved me from getting raped no less! She KNEW what the neighbourhood boy had in store for me, and she encouraged me to follow her, not him.
I now know how she found out about all this stuff, but what's more important is, I find it amazing that two kids the same age living in the same community had such different perspectives on life in general. She had it tough, I didn't.
I moved out of my parents home the first chance I got. I earned to be independent, found a fulltime job right after highschool and got on with my life. It was just a force inside of me.
In contrast, my hubby lived with his parents until we married. He socked away his money and let his mom do his laundry for him, etc. Smart in some ways, but in lessons learned in life, sometimes I see I'm lightyears ahead of him. He's gotta make all the mistakes I made many years ago yet.
I think what I brought out of my life growing up is not afraid to attempt hurdles that are abit taller than I am. If I fail, try a different technique. I've always done this. If it's something I really want, I will ultimately get it. When I stop fighting for it and let it rest, I know it won't be mine.
I've always been somewhat confident in myself to pull myself through life, mistakes and all. I also find it interesting how most of my other siblings have or had businesses of their own, even if it was along with a 'regular' job. I guess it's in our blood in some way.
Anyway, that's what makes me tick. My upbringing gave me so much which I'm so grateful for. And it's only helped me with my biz.
**Edited part below:
At the risk of you thinking I'm actually June Cleaver myself (LOL), I've had some hard knocks in my life. Divorce, emotional abuse, being fired from jobs, my list is long. Somehow I've managed to spin all those things in a positive direction, and I think that's having the respect in myself to not allow others to treat me disrespectfully.
I look at my friend, and she's done wonderfully for herself, raised a beautiful family, but she's filled with self doubt and questions her every move. She wonders what it's like on the other side of the fence, not being totally fulfilled with 'her own yard.' I wish I could turn back the clock and make her childhood a more positive experience. I wish for her to be comfortable with where she is and start enjoying it. But who knows, she may be a millionaire before me.
[ April 12, 2003, 05:43 PM: Message edited by: Donna in BC ]
It's funny how folks can grow up in the same place or share the same experience and yet see and remember things so differently from each other.
When I was growing up my parents didn't get along very well. They divorced when the last of four kids left home. I knew it was coming from when I was a little kid. Although I remember clearly the raging fights they sometimes had, its not what I remember the most.
I remember instead the good times we had, the family holidays, family gatherings, family outings, going to church together, building a house, going toboganning, and a thousand other happy memories.
My brothers and sister remember instead the unhappy times. When we get together we talk of old times, and my memories are so vastly different than theirs they ask me if I actually grew up there with them in the same house.
But I believe it is a matter of spin, what I choose to remember, what I dwell on that makes me who I am. Everything that they remember DID happen, but so did what I choose to remember.
If I fall down and skin my knee. I am glad I didn't break my leg. If a job falls through I am ready for the NEXT OPPORTUNITY. If something goes badly I am happy for the learning experience. I celebrate life rather on dwelling on death.
I know people who worry constantly they may not get enough work, I worry (only a little) that I may get too much work, and may have a tough time choosing the BEST opportunity.
Same goes every day of my life. Good and bad happen to me like everyone else alive. I CHOOSE to dwell on the good stuff. And I believe it makes me a happier, healthier, more positive person.
-dan
[ April 12, 2003, 06:19 PM: Message edited by: Dan Sawatzky ]
-------------------- Dan Sawatzky Imagination Corporation Yarrow, British Columbia dan@imaginationcorporation.com http://www.imaginationcorporation.com
Being a grampa is one of the the most wonderful things in the world!!! Posts: 8768 | From: Yarrow, B.C. Canada | Registered: Nov 1998
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I had to add more, I just feel so strongly about this stuff.
I spoke above of what I choose to remember... the positive stuff. The same positive things I remember as a kid I passed on to our kids, only better.
The same thing applies to choices I offer folks around me even today.
A few examples...
When our kids were young I didn't fight with them. We had differences of opinion to be sure, but once again a little positive spin can make all the difference.
When it was time for bed the kids had a choice. We offered them a choice. I made it fun to go to bed, a positive experience. They actually looked forward to bed time. There was the rough and tuff playtime. Monster tickle fights, wrestle mania, and mad chases through the house. A different game every night. Then the calming story time. They always took turns choosing the book. And when the appointed hour approached they got another choice. Did they want to wear their socks to bed or take them off instead? It was a wonderful production! By giving them control over something there was a different issue rather than the time.
When we travelled in the car I let one ride in the front seat on the way out and another on the way back. And I made sure there were fun incentives both ways to each position. Silly games, wonderful conversation, and cool adventures were the order of the day. The kids went with me everywhere during the day. It was more fun than staying home.
Negative or tough jobs are always followed with a fun reward. First we work and THEN we PLAY!
Life can be fun or it can be a chore. It's positive choices that make the difference!
-dan
-------------------- Dan Sawatzky Imagination Corporation Yarrow, British Columbia dan@imaginationcorporation.com http://www.imaginationcorporation.com
Being a grampa is one of the the most wonderful things in the world!!! Posts: 8768 | From: Yarrow, B.C. Canada | Registered: Nov 1998
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posted
Interesting take on it Dan. (choosing to remember what you do) I actually grew up with a crazed brother. (I think he was dropped on his head at birth...) My siblings remember all the heartache that came along with him. I barely remember him at all and he even lived at home while I did. (over 10 years separate us)
There's so much crap I could scrape up about my life, but it's not worth the extra effort, and the memories don't serve a good purpose, so somehow I can continue on with a smile on my face. Amazing what our own mind games can do for us thank goodness! Maybe we were just born with a massive brain resilience!
And your story on how you put your kids to bed put a huge smile on my face! I constantly get told, "You sure you aren't still a kid yourself? Look at you two!" Cody and I are two kids that have the widest age range possible. Aren't kid's giggles the best?
posted
I too, was fortunate to have a happy childhood. My Dad was the most positive person in the world. But he was also real. He didn't sit at his desk and dream about the dollars floating down from the sky. He made it happen by being an honest hard working realist. My brothers and sisters and I all learned a great deal from Dad. La La Land is a fun fantasy to slide into...but don't forget to poke your head back out into the real world.
I know many people who had horrible childhoods. The worst possible things happened to them. Most have made the choice to be happy. It really is quite simple. Do what makes you happy. Some days suck....but tomorrow is right around the corner.
you ask what makes me tick. First off it is my family. We have fun! We see humor in the everyday things.....even the morning grumpies etc. I am so glad my kids understand when schit happens...you do something about it! When the sink breaks...you fix it. When the roof needs to be replaced you all help out to 'fix' the problem. And we are smart enough to know money really doesn't just float out of the sky. But most importantly we know that money is certainly not what makes a person rich. Not even close. I feel that my little family understands right from wrong...good from bad. We are happy for our friends when they are fortunate. People who constantly pat themselves on the back get boring. We love each other, help each other and are very rich indeed. I wish that for all.
Posts: 3729 | From: Seattle | Registered: Sep 1999
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posted
I like reading this - bears out what I fervently believe: ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING -------------------------- (Speaking of being positive, who is it we do need, Bob?)
-------------------- Myra A. Grozinger Signs Limited Winston-Salem, NC
signslimited@triad.rr.com Posts: 1244 | From: Winston-Salem, NC USA | Registered: Nov 1998
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Myra, what a zinger. Ultimately, there's one answer to that question. But as far as wit goes, I'm reminded of a saying I saw in a silly little book about speaking southern. It said: "sharper than a mothah in law's tongue". Maybe it could have said "sharp as Myra's tongue".(Peace lady, don't turn it on me)
Dan, I know you're well aware that exhaustion can affect mentality/emotions, and vice versa. So do you ever struggle with exhaustion, or are you very disciplined in scheduling, nutrition, etc? Thanks for any replies, Jim.
-------------------- James Donahue Donahue Sign Arts 1851 E. Union Valley Rd. Seymour TN. (865) 577-3365 brushman@nxs.net
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what's for lunch, Benjamin Franklin Posts: 2057 | From: 1033 W. Union Valley Rd. | Registered: Feb 2003
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Do I struggle with exhaustion? Well... YUP. I'm not a super hero - just an ordinary guy. I get tired. Physically and emotionally. Just plain old beat sometimes.
We have a new puppy at our house now and she's up at least one, most often twice a night. And so it's gone for the last five weeks. I really, really need a good uninterupted night's sleep. I almost had a nap today but decided against it. And with the schedule I have next week (very early morning appointments and all) it isn't gonna happen anytime soon.
And I get knocked flat emotionally by people too. Especially the turkeys. But I don't stay down long. If you let a rotten folks get the best of you, well who wins then?
I find that when I really tired or in pain (I suffer from chronic back pain and arthritis in one foot) it makes me focus much harder on staying in a positive mood.
A former neighbor of mine was a REAL GROUCH, just a nasty old man. (I said hello to him with a big smile every single morning for two whole years before he would say hi back) His wife explained it away by saying he was tired and his feet hurt. Just a poor excuse in my opinion for a bad attitude. While he may have been in pain and very tired he made it worse by letting the good things in life pass him by (and I don't mean me).
And scheduling... My very best scheduled days go south in a hurry by virtue of what actually happens. Appointments get changed, phone calls happen when I'm on the edge of late and heading out the door. Traffic sets me back, and the truck is low on gas at that very moment. The printer runs out of ink (with no spares on hand), and the puppy poops on the carpet about then too. On any given day I might actually accomplish 60-70% of what I set as a goal.
Sounds like an ordinary day to me.
Rather than being hugely affected by minute to minute happenings (and overwelmed by the bad stuff) I like to focus on the overall progress of things in the big picture. Some days I am behind and some days I am way ahead. But in the end I think I win more than I lose. If you disregard the little losses and count all the wins... guess what??
Nutrition.... I try hard but often don't eat like I should. Today I spent on the road... Egg sandwich & OJ for breakfast. Hamburger & a coke for lunch. Two balogna sandwiches & another coke for supper. Tomorrow I'll eat better.
Did I win today? Well, I finished my sister-in-law's tile floor (she's dancing!)and did some design work at my computer to round out the day. Janis & I will spend a little time together this evening and I'll play with the puppy for a while too. I'd say I was ahead of schedule today and definitely a win! But I didn't run out of ink today, the truck was full of gas, and the phone didn't ring.
I can't wait for what tomorrow might bring.
-dan
-------------------- Dan Sawatzky Imagination Corporation Yarrow, British Columbia dan@imaginationcorporation.com http://www.imaginationcorporation.com
Being a grampa is one of the the most wonderful things in the world!!! Posts: 8768 | From: Yarrow, B.C. Canada | Registered: Nov 1998
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posted
I don't have any real recollection of my childhood, except for the time my big sister ran over me with her bike - that really sticks out as a vivid memory! Everything else, I couldn't tell ya unless someone else jogs my memory about it... I do remember standing in the corner of the room, and gettin spanked with dad's belt when bad.
My mom tells me a story of how my sis and I got into some fresh chocolate pudding, and fingerpainted freshly painted walls with it. Sis and I had been whining all day and mom was so fed up with us she didnt make any attempt to stop us, even though she knew exactly what we were doing!
I don't know how all this factors into how I am now, but I basically won't back down from a challenge - I thrive on challenge.. the more challenging the better.. and I don't even perceive challenges as challenges, I see them more as "crap I gotta do" or "no biggie" - somehow I just naturally find a systemmatic way to attack the problem at hand and dissect it into simpler components.
My dad says I've always been like that, but instead of him attributing it to the way my brain works or intellect, he says "Everything just comes easily to you."
-------------------- "If I share all my wisdom I won't have any left for myself."
Mike Pipes stickerpimp.com Lake Havasu, AZ mike@stickerpimp.com Posts: 8746 | From: Lake Havasu, AZ USA | Registered: Jun 2000
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posted
Real is great! Look at all the reality shows on tv lately, those shows are smoking the networks.
However, defining real is another thing. Realism that displays respect wins votes for me! If someone near me can't hold their tongue in a respectful manner, bye bye. Polk fun at yourself, but not at someone else's expense. Take Rob on Survivor, funny real guy, but insulting to women in general. If you're a Survivor fan, you'll know what I'm talking about.
Being real to ourselves is all that really matters. Everyone's real is different. Dan, I believe you're real. And a really nice guy to boot.
posted
Sorry to say I don't watch those shows Donna. I don't have time for anyone who is disrespectful either. Just as listening to those who brag and babble on and on.......and on.....gets pretty old.
I agree! Being real to ourselves is the most important! If you depend on the reality shows, and spend so much time watching Oprah and Dr. Phil ..... you may not be listening to your own inner problems. Inner turmoil perhaps? Common sense is all most need. Some have none ....... sure loses my interest. But then it is good for a chuckle now and then. I am sure your TV shows are fun too.
Yes everybody's 'real' is different! There are bunches of real nice people! You don't need to convince me that Dan is one of them.
Posts: 3729 | From: Seattle | Registered: Sep 1999
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posted
Myra, Attitude is a lot, but it's not EVERYTHING! I sure don't need anyone besides myself to keep me POSITIVE. That comes from WITHIN.....not from the crap force-fed to us by OPRAH, Dr. PHIL, and all the other self-help "feel-good-about-yourself"-ers out there. If THEY need that, and valium and prozac and whatever.......that's THEIR problem.....it sure isn't mine. I feel just fine about myself without having anyone telling me i "need" to.
posted
Everybody is in agreement. Everything, especially our attitude, comes from within. The answer to “who” we need in life, is that we need our best selves to "make us tick."
In the best case scenario this is fostered and created in childhood. If not, the job needs to be done by ourselves later on in life. If we are able to to rise to the challenge, we are helped immensely by our attitude. Some need medicine, some need therapy, some need a "revelation" from a TV show.
Who am I to say who needs what. But it is clear that Bob and I can kick our own butts without any help, thank you very much.
-------------------- Myra A. Grozinger Signs Limited Winston-Salem, NC
signslimited@triad.rr.com Posts: 1244 | From: Winston-Salem, NC USA | Registered: Nov 1998
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posted
Living and visiting around the world is a big part of life lessons for me, that and being in a family of six, 4 brothers and one sister taught me to respect women and don't try to understand them. If you borrow something replace it or get your ass kicked, other people rely on you... don't let them down, and be on time for dinner or go hungry. My glass is always full and it's up to me to keep it that way. And finaly No Excusess.... No Regrets
-------------------- "No excuses!.... No regrets!..."
posted
I never thought much about it...but your post makes a few things ring true.
As I was growing up (as an only child) I don't recall my parents ever being particularly positive nor negative...they were just hard working folks that had a sense of commitment to the task at hand (thats the way I choose to remember it anyway).
I do know however... they instilled a work ethic within me that is second to none.
I don't remember much praise and hardly ever a reward...I think maybe that is what has made me look to other avenues for the satisfaction at being the best that I can be at the things I chose to accomplish.
Having said all that what my wife sometimes calls negativity I see as an inquiring view of the way things are done about me...does that make sense?
What I'm trying to say is this...When I see something that isn't right I have a tendancy to look for a better approach and sometimes I have comments about how poorly something is done and think of better ways to approach it.(sometimes without even knowing it words come out of my mouth like "another way of doing that would have...").
Is this negativity or a creative mind that has little time for inferior product or activity?
This board has probably been more important to me for positive reflection than anything I can think of in my day to day aproach to nearly everything I do.
Patsee will probably read this and laugh...never the less when I come here I try to avoid negative posts most especially O/T posts.Because I try to answer the "help" posts...I'm sure I come off as a "know it all" (I hope not )because I feel I have a lot to share after 39 years of beating my way around the sign biz.
I seldom ask for help here but when I do I am truly stuck and most appreciative of any and all information provided.
I admit I miss the "old days " when there were a half dozen guys working together in a "production shop" and coming here gives me that "old feeling" of comaraderie.Especially amongst the people I have met in person at the various meets.
This place has taken us to places I would have never gone and has alowed Pat and I to open our home to people we would have never met if it weren't for Steve and Barb and their Internet dream.
What makes me tick, you say?
You do...all of you! Thank you for the post and the place to express myself Donna.
-------------------- "Werks fer me...it'll werk fer you"
posted
Myra, I hate to read more into someone's words than is really there. At times like this I'm reminded of the dictionary definition of paranoia: "illusions of grandure or persecution". Nontheless, if there's any chance I've offended anybody, I must attempt a reconciliation. The truth is I couldn't be more in agreement with Bob. "In agreement" is putting it mildly. But when someone sees a question or idea sooner than me, to me it's a zinger. Key word there was WIT. Guess I need to find a more careful way to complement people. I'm truly sorry if I've offended. Jim.
-------------------- James Donahue Donahue Sign Arts 1851 E. Union Valley Rd. Seymour TN. (865) 577-3365 brushman@nxs.net
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what's for lunch, Benjamin Franklin Posts: 2057 | From: 1033 W. Union Valley Rd. | Registered: Feb 2003
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Negativity to me is the most often source of anyones problems. Ive never been negative about anything. If you're grumpy and hateful, expect to have a crappy not so happy life. If you are positive and cheerful, expect to enjoy each day as it comes. Dan seems to have become an expert at this. I applaud him for that. Im reaching for it, but still have some days when I think, ah heck, why bother? But I wake up the next morning with a rosier outlook and go at it again. I like the work I do, but there are a couple areas of my life I wish I had explored more, such as music. I had a couple chances to make a living as a musician, but opted not too. Maybe it would have worked out, maybe not. Cartooning also, I tried for years to sell a comic strip to syndicates, but gave up years ago. THat part I am trying again as we speak. Who knows, maybe this time the bells will ring. Anyway, be positive.
-------------------- Maker of fine signs and other creative stuff. Located at 109 N. Cumberland ave. Harlan, Ky. 40831 606-837-0242 Posts: 4172 | From: Ages-Brookside, Ky. Up the Holler... | Registered: Jul 1999
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definition of paranoia: "illusions of grandure or persecution"
I am not speaking of anybody in particular....but I have noticed that sometimes the more happy happy some people are or claim to be...the more issues they really have. (like who are they trying to convince??) I guess that's why I think it is best to 'bust loose'....if you are having a bad day...so what. Why try to put a cherry on top.
I think to be self employed you have to be a positive thinker. You have to be a risk taker and dreamer. All of us are unique. All of us are special. Nobody is better because you speak so highly of positive thinking. I think alot of us just scratch our heads and say so? I think positive most all the time. Most just don't make a mention of it.
Posts: 3729 | From: Seattle | Registered: Sep 1999
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posted
For me, one answer seems to suit this question best. What makes me tick is my heart. Literally of coarse, but also in life dealings. My heart seems to guide me. My gut and my head are great backups. Age and experience is teaching me to listen up to my head abit more.
I'm a big advocate to the positive thinking thing. I've certainly transcended many slumps and hard times with it.
I had a loving family growing up who taught me the value of honesty, gratitude, and a hard days work.
As a kid, school kids would tease me about my looks. I had a terrible overbite, and I was pretty dorky looking. I imagine, they could have broken my spirit, but somehow, I always knew that something better was in store for me, and I looked forward to that.
While I believe I naturally carry tons of positive energy within me, I also know that part of what keeps me "ticking" is the world around me. Just so many "lightbulb" moments to be had out there! People continually feed my drive to excel. Even folks who hit hard times, but manage to keep a good attitude keep hope in my heart. Those who emerge with lessons to share inspire me. And even a comment in passing may just carry a pertanent message.
I've believe that truly feeling things in life is the thing that enriches it the most. Being angry or scared, but working out anger and fears, and being motivated by it rather than immobilized. Feeling sadness, and elation, and appreciating what each bring with it. Learning from mistakes, and moving on to do better.
My life is based on the premise of the golden rule. I often check my own motives on things, and stop to think about the affect my actions will make. (or have made) I try to put myself in other's shoes before forming assumptions or judgements on circumstances, and I tend to give folks the benefit of doubt.
Heck, I still walk around with the thought that I'm a work in progress, and life will just keep getting better.
posted
Imagine living next door to such a happy-go-lucky guy and seeing that Smiley Happy Face Grinning cheerily at you even when you're all grumpy in the morning and your feet hurt! Day after day. Boy, could THAT could drive a guy up onto the roof with a deer rifle, or what...
I think I may just start wearin' a bulletproof vest. (with a happy face painted on it of course!)
-dan
-------------------- Dan Sawatzky Imagination Corporation Yarrow, British Columbia dan@imaginationcorporation.com http://www.imaginationcorporation.com
Being a grampa is one of the the most wonderful things in the world!!! Posts: 8768 | From: Yarrow, B.C. Canada | Registered: Nov 1998
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Spoiled, spoiled spoiled!! That's what I am, and I know it. But its all Dad's fault! Lat and I have always gotten what we asked for, but Dad made us earn it first. There was always something we had to accomplish before we got whatever it was. I grew up in the reloading room with Dad. Latigo shoots clays in the summer, but I was the one who followed Dad around to the shoots and helped him on the range. I guess it was natural for me to follow him into both studios too. Besides the reloading room, my second hangout was the Recording Studio, and when Lat began with the guitar at age 10, I began with Bass Guitar lessons. At 16 I began working in the Graphics Studio. I guess by now I know about as much as most people when it comes to making signs, but it became more fun when Dad gave me chisels to work with. I love doing the detail painting on the carvings most of all. Despite my closeness with Dad, I'm really a Mama's girl. I could never move away from my Mom. We're like best friends, not Mother and daughter. Would you believe that even though Lat and I work with Mom and Dad on a usual daily basis, we call them at least 3 times a night, and we're always home on weekends, me with Paul and now Lat with Liz. We ride motorcycles together (you should see Dad on his KTM400 dirt bike!), we shoot together and we work in the Recording Studio together. Family is the most important thing in my life, and even though I'm spoiled rotten, I show my appreciation to my family every chance I get. I guess I grew up ok, no?
posted
Rosemary....you are a great inspiration! Thru all the bad...you still have spunk. I admire the heck out of you. (eventhough you did tell me off once) heheheh I believe it was about long fingernails. But you know what..I like that. You get out your madness and get over it! You don't hold a grudge or a cow chip on your shoulder like some. I love your spunk. You keep it up. We are all pulling for you.
Posts: 3729 | From: Seattle | Registered: Sep 1999
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To tell the truth, Cheryl, I only have two friends. My Mom and now Liz, but just knowing how you guys have prayed for me and didn't just consider me kinda ditzy has made a big difference to me. Whenever Lat would post about me here he would wait a few days and then print out all the responses. You have no idea how good that made me feel, even in a clinic bed! I love you all!
posted
It's not how many friends you have Rosemary. My mom is one of my best friends too. Mom's are great! Some of my friends I hardly see....but talk to all the time.
You and your family just make me smile. Posts: 3729 | From: Seattle | Registered: Sep 1999
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posted
I for one really value Dan's admonishments.I'm not "where" he's at. I'm not sure that I'll ever be. The new testament says something like: "suffer with those that suffer, and rejoice with those that rejoice". I try to be involved in that way, more than anything I want to be aware of the cause and effect relationships that bring the difficulties. I don't get down in the dumps, but sometimes I think if I get too high, it's that much farther to fall. That really could be nonsense, though. I've said before that I'm the mean spirited, hate filled, homophobic, anti abort, NRA, religious fanatic, backwoods fundementalist. But if those things were really true, I would be such an angry and defensive person that I wouldn't want anybody saying that about me, even myself. Those are labels people hang on me for the sake of social engineering, and manipulating the masses. It's easier to disregard the words of someone that's a monster. All that said, however, I usually am pretty far right of center. I'm surrounded by conservative publications, talk shows, and such. That's why I so much value left leaning columnists, postings, and such.(One of my favorites is Molly Ivans). I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least know what the other side is saying. There's an articulate sign lady that makes postings on this BB. She once said she was thinking of not posting anymore. I felt like jumping through the computer, kicking her in the shin and yelling: "DON"T YOU DARE STOP POSTING!" I really and truly value the thoughts of those that think differently. It's how I try to keep myself in line. Maybe it's the pendulum thing. Maybe I was such a reckless druggy in my youth that I now place a high value on self examination. Speaking of the pendulum thing, I once heard that people tend to raise their kids the way they were raised. But I'm sorry, I'm just not buying it. I'm raising my kids alot different than I was raised. Anybody else raising their kids differently? Jim
-------------------- James Donahue Donahue Sign Arts 1851 E. Union Valley Rd. Seymour TN. (865) 577-3365 brushman@nxs.net
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what's for lunch, Benjamin Franklin Posts: 2057 | From: 1033 W. Union Valley Rd. | Registered: Feb 2003
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quote:I'm raising my kids alot different than I was raised. Anybody else raising their kids differently? Jim
In some ways, I wish I could be more like my mom was. Always seemed patient and understanding, very laid back. She was a stay at home mom all her life. I would have loved that, to concentrate all my efforts on raising my child rather than dividing up childcare and work. But life is different now. Two incomes are alot more comfortable than one. (if you're lucky enough to have 2 incomes that is!)
On the other hand, there's my hubby's parents. Mike (my husband) wasn't 'allowed' to do things. Was told it wasn't the right way. Let me tell you, Mike is not only doing things now, I've had to teach him that it's ok for Cody to try anything that isn't a safety hazard. We are totally blown away what a 3 yr old can do, because we gave him a chance to!
posted
eastern philosophy, vegtables, tofu and the fact that i am.......who i am.....thru my own will.
-------------------- joe pribish-A SIGN MINT 2811 longleaf Dr. pensacola, fl 32526 850-637-1519 BEWARE THE TRUTH.....YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU FIND Posts: 11582 | From: pensacola, fl. usa | Registered: Nov 1998
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when I started reading it, I was thinking of my own childhood and could clearly hear my mothers voice in my head teaching me the stuff she felt was important then as I read the replies I considered how I've raised my kids in different ways, in different times, and their voices played in my mind reminding me of stuff I taught my kids because I thought it was important now as I put my 'two cents worth in' I come to the question you asked in the beginning what makes me tick?
the need to learn stuff
I can look back to when I was a kid and remember the wonderful times the family holidays, the singing around the house, the smell of sunshine, salt water and clean washing
my glass was most certainly half full
the very strict Dad that ultimately became a drunk and left us when I was 15 but who, irrespective of his best efforts to the contrary, I adored and felt so loved by
the mother who sang like an angel and worked like the devil to give my brother and I, in her own words, "not everything you want, but everything you need"
the very real guidelines and patterns of behaviour that I didn't dare step over for fear of being punished... or worse still, being less than the best me I could be
you know to this day, at 45 yrs of age, I still won't swear in front of my mother... and believe me I know and use all those words regularly
I don't not do it because I feel that sum words are 'bad', I agree with George Carlen on that score, nor am I pretending to be someone I'm not in her company, she knows exactly who I am
I don't do it because it would hurt her feelings and that to me is unforgivable
in my childhood I learnt to be honest I learn that to screw up was normal but to lie about it just doubled the problem
I learnt to care about what other people felt, not thought
I learnt that strength comes from knowing who you are and from time to time, being able to accept a hand up, and not see it as a hand out
I learnt to sing, even if your really bad at it, just because it makes you feel so good
raising my own children I have learnt that no matter what you do, at some time in their lives, those people whom you care for above all others, will tell you that you did it wrong
I learnt that Mum was wrong, socks don't have to match to make a person happy
I learnt that the 'right thing' isn't always the right thing for everyone and that normal is a much miss used word
I learnt that I have been amazingly blessed by being there to witness whole human beings grow from tiny, wet, loud, infants... all by themselves
and guess what? I learnt about irony with my 6'+ grown up son not swearing in front of me.... cause he doesn't want to hurt my feelings
my glass was still half full
as an adult I learnt that no one has all the answers but that some questions can be so intriguing that you just have to try to find what the answer to them is
I learnt that it's not what happens too you, but how you handle it, that is the hardest and most important part
I learnt that love is absolutely neutral it's our perception that brings both extremes of pleasure and pain into our lives
I learnt that hate is a waste of precious time and guilt a total waste of energy and that I don't have either time nor energy in large enough quantities to waste
I learnt to make a living doing what I truly enjoy
I learnt that bad things happen to good people and that good things can happen to bad ones and the only tragedy is not being moved by it
I learnt that there is so much more to learn and that my glass is certainly still half full even if nowdays I keep forgetting where I put it!
so to go back to the original question 'what makes me tick?'
the need to learn stuff!
cheers gail
[ April 14, 2003, 10:40 AM: Message edited by: Gail & Dave Beattie ]
-------------------- Gail & Dave Hervey Bay Qld Australia
gail@roadwarriorproducts.com.au
sumtimes ya just gota! Posts: 794 | From: 552 O'Regans Creek Rd Toogoom Qld 4655 Australia | Registered: Nov 1998
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...Wow, Donna, Dan, Myra, James, Janet! I'da never guessed I'd come to letterville and find so many wonderfully philosophical people...ya got me all choked up, heh,heh..........It's amazing...ya'll love paintin', creatin', you love mottos an' quotes, bein' positive....a bunch of us are musically inclined!...bein' adopted, you always wonder who/where yer real family is...I think I found ya'll!! WAAAAWAWAAWA!!! I love ya"ll!! Even Bob, who is every bit the synical, sarcastic side of me, who gets off on tellin' people how it is!....What makes me tick....(hope you meant tick an' not sick, lol) is (besides, the Lord, 'cuz without him I'd be dead), makin' people laugh. I love runnin' into a negative or sad person if I can get 'em to look at how easy it is to look at the bright side....on the other hand, if I meet someone who insists on bein' perpetually negative and they simply refuse to find the good in anything, then I will not allow myself to be in that persons presence for long.....two thoughts: Surround yourself with people who are better than you, know more than you, etc.(as I've done by joining ya'll!)...and two, if you never take yourself too serious, you'll never run out'a things to laugh at!! Have a great week, month, year, life, but take it one day at a time!!
-------------------- Signs Sweet Home Alabama
oneshot on chat
"Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man, work like a dog" Posts: 5758 | From: "Sweet Home" Alabama | Registered: Mar 2003
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my dear old dad told me to remember that i could do a little of what any one else could & that the impossible just took longer
-------------------- Jimmy Chatham Chatham Signs 468 stark st Commerce, Ga 30529 Posts: 1766 | From: Commerce, GA, USA | Registered: Nov 1998
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I'm no saint but striving for decency and kindness, without coming off as weak is what does it for me. Achieving part of this way of living is great but the STRIVING part makes me feel the most alive.I have much to learn.
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