Sometimes we got billboard artwork sent to us from an agency. Cool! All we should have to do is enlarge to fit and it’s half way done. Except agencies notoriously don’t understand proportions, so a lot of maneuvering has to be done to accommodate the art to the actual size and shape of the sign, especially if the ad is going up on different sizes of boards. Sometimes it’s right on and good and it’s a pleasure to deal with those. Most of them don’t get it. One faxed us artwork and they had pasted on the little squares of color from their PMS chart, but without the corresponding numbers. So they all showed up black. I called them up and explained that I needed the NUMBERS - I had a PMS book. They sent a messenger to the shop with a Xerox copy of the same artwork with the little squares. All black. Duh.
One of the local banks wanted to change their image and had a real graphic artist, not a nephew for once, draw up a new logo and ad for two boards of different sizes, and they sent over these two beautiful covered Illustration board pieces for the ad. They were to scale, spelled correctly, nice solid colors, the OAAA colors they wanted were there, all the duckies were lined up. First thing Lenny ripped off the pesky covers and announced “It won’t work”. Well, he ought to know. I believe the single line of Roman lettering read; “The Bank Where Business Banks”. All he had to do was put it in the projector, enlarge and trace. Lenny had a policy of spending no more than an hour making patterns, no matter how big or involved the sign was supposed to be, and he also had convinced himself that one pattern will do for two signs even if they are different sizes.
By about 9:00 a.m. the calls started coming in from the billboard company; “Please stop that painter out on the billboard - it’s all wrong”. Lenny was incommunicado in the field. The bank president himself, whose pet project this was, had driven past one of the boards in progress on his way in to work and saw his new image and didn’t like it any. Business was spelled wrong. I found out where the board was and closed up the shop and drove out there, but Lenny was gone already. Yeah, Busines. So I went back to the shop and caught more calls. “Can’t you stop that guy? He’s wrecking the OTHER board now”. Busines on both boards. Well, driving around all day trying to stop Lenny from screwing things up would just be a lesson in futility, it didn’t work in the shop, why should it work in the field. It didn’t work in Utah, why would it in California?
The next day I let him answer the phone himself and after a lot of arguing about how O.K. the boards were and how much extra he’d have to charge for “changes” he finally agreed to go fix the mistake. By putting on another “s”. He didn’t repaint, didn’t make a new pattern, just freehanded a home built “s”, leaving no space and two fonts, now; Lenny Casual Roman and Lenny Casual Casual. So, of course, the phone again. This time the bank pres. himself called; he couldn’t believe we’d keep a guy like that on the job. But tomorrow would be another day. Plenty of time for him to learn how it is in the field of Professional Advertising. But they made Lenny go out and redo the word Business, all in one alphabet.
This time I got a call from the guy that had designed the boards. He and the bank president were at their wits’ ends. Now the signs were “crooked”. I had to go for another drive. Lenny didn’t understand about the difference between doing a job and doing a job right. Naturally, he’d thrown out the original patterns so he made a one-size-fits-none pattern for just the word “Business” and since it didn’t fit between the other words he had to jam it in on an angle. When I saw him again after the new phone calls he insisted he’d fixed all the mistakes and wasn’t going back out there again for free, the signs were perfect now. Nobody was about to answer the phone, ever again. I told him I’d driven out, myself and checked on the boards and they were, indeed crooked. He said “Well, yeah, a half inch”. And they say women can’t tell measurements.
I was taking an afternoon class at a local college to learn the basics of ‘puter operation. Dan, an ex-employee by now of Lenny’s was taking a class in the same room, but earlier in the day and with a different instructor. I got to school a little early and eased in the door while the other class was still wrapping up. The instructor was very agitated about something and the class was getting an earful. Dan saw me, and motioned me over. He asked “Has Lenny been out painting billboards for a bank?” “Yeah, has he EVER!”, I said. Dan stood up and announced “Hey! This guy knows all about him - he works for the guy!” The instructor of that class was the graphic designer that had done the layout and had called the shop to gripe. His whole hour had been used up telling the class about the trouble with those two boards. Dan and I wound up telling Lenny stories to the class for the next hour and a half.
One of my favorite Lenny board stories was the time he was doing a political one for Jim Brulte, running for assemblyman. He got as far as JIM BRULTE, ASS when he broke for lunch.
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Yeah Mikey......I have been saying to you over and over....."yew ARE good"! Thanks for the laughs. Posts: 3729 | From: Seattle | Registered: Sep 1999
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Did you know that Jacques Plante wasn't the first goalie to wear a mask in a game? Nope... It was Clint Benedict of Montreal... Broke his nose and wore a modified welder's mask for three games... Gotta go now and stick my nose back in the Guiness book there... LOL!
-------------------- Bruce Bowers
DrCAS Custom Lettering and Design Saint Cloud, Minnesota
"Things work out best for the people who make the best of the way things work out." - Art Linkletter Posts: 6451 | From: Saint Cloud, Minnesota | Registered: Jun 1999
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almost noon (well, it's 10 anyway) I feel like getting my nose close to a Guiness too, but as long as I don't hear any good Lenny jokes while I'm drinking, hopefully I will keep my nose out of it.
-------------------- James Donahue Donahue Sign Arts 1851 E. Union Valley Rd. Seymour TN. (865) 577-3365 brushman@nxs.net
Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what's for lunch, Benjamin Franklin Posts: 2057 | From: 1033 W. Union Valley Rd. | Registered: Feb 2003
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Man - O - man... I love this guy. Now I always figured Lenny was a real person, but part of me is beginning to think Mike Languein is having a good laugh on all of us. Then again, its just too bizarre to be made up. In the end I don't even care - Lenny rules. Real or fictitious, I feel I know him. I've certainly known people like him. Anybody can make a few mistakes or have a few quirks, but Lenny apparently is an artist. Fitting that he should have a following.
Put me on the list. I'm addicted. I need the book. Hey, the cartoon is great Mike. Will the book have illustrations too? I can't wait.
SONGPAINTER Original Sign Music by Sign People NOW AVAILABLE on CD and the proceeds go to Letterville's favorite charity! Click Here for Sound Clips! Posts: 1974 | From: Orleans, MA, Cape Cod, USA | Registered: Nov 1998
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