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THIS WAS POSTED BY A SIGN GUY IN AUSTRALIA ON THE ROLAND BB:
Over the last 15 years I have had some stupid customers give me some stupid questions. So I have decided to write down the top 10 questions with the reply we would all like to say.
1. Q: SIGNS SEEM TO BE A LOT DEARER THAN WHEN I WAS SIGNWRITING, YOU DO KNOW I WAS A SIGNWRITER ? R: "No I didn't know, but you are no longer a signwriter because of how obviously cheap you charged your signs out!" IDIOT!
2. Q: YOU KNOW MY UNCLE WAS A SIGNWRITER ? R: "Really! Maybe you should go and visit him instead of bothering me!" IDIOT!
3. Q: CAN I PAY AT THE END OF THE MONTH ? R: "Sure, Iwill hand the sign over now and wait for the next 2 months for you to pay, only to hear from my neighbour you went bankrupt and skipped town with my sign that is now been used for a surfboard on your tropical island holiday !" IDIOT!
4. Q: WHY DO YOU CHARGE SO MUCH FOR YOUR SIGNS, IT'S ONLY BEEN PRINTED ON YOUR SOLJET, I COULD DO THAT IF I HAD THAT MACHINE ! R: "So whats stopping you, go and buy a Sollie and see how much that $50 sign is going to be worth after you finish paying off the 5 year loan !" IDIOT!
5. Q: CAN I STAY AND WATCH YOU DO THE SIGN, EVEN BETTER CAN I HELP YOU ? R: "That would be great, you and I working together side by side. Oh by the way it's $50 per hour for me to do the sign or $100 per hour if you help me !" IDIOT!
6. Q: OH I FORGOT TO TELL YOU I NEED THE CAR SIGNWRITTEN BY TOMORROW, SEEING THAT YOU HAVE THE SOLJET YOU CAN HAVE IT DONE IN AN HOUR , CANT YOU ?" R: "Sure, no worries, give me the keys to the car and I will personally drive it through the Sollie and let it print the sign on !" IDIOT!
7. Q: CAN YOU GIVE IT TO ME A LOT CHEAPER IF I ORDER 5 OF THE SIGNS ? R: "You do the math Einstein ! I think not!" IDIOT!
8. Q: THE GUY DOWN THE ROAD CAN DO IT ABOUT $50 CHEAPER THAN YOU ! R: (I think we all know what we would like to say to this idiot! But how about this...) "Gosh, Ihad better check my pricing system that has taken me 15 years to fine tune, I must be charging too much! But then again maybe not, seeing that the idiot you're talking about is going bust due to no profit !" IDIOT!
9. Q: IF I GET MY 10 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER TO DESIGN THE SIGN CAN I GET IT CHEAPER ? R: "Sure I will print it for you, but I'm going to have to charge more because this piece of crap is drawn in crayons and is full of spelling mistakes !" IDIOT!
10. Q: YOU SIGNWRITERS MUST BE MAKING A BUCKET LOAD OF MONEY WITH THE PRICES YOU CHARGE ? R: "Bugger! You got me there. Now on the your way out the door grab your coat of my butler, Geeves, and dont scratch the duco on my BMW ute !" IDIOT!
Now that I have got that of my chest here is one that I cant figure a reply for , maybe you guys might offer something.
11.(After 2 hours of working with the customer on what he wants on the sign, he turns to you an says.....) THANKS FOR ALL OF THAT , NOW I WILL TAKE IT HOME TO THE WIFE A SEE IF ITS WHAT SHE WANTS, OK? IDIOT!
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For the past year I have been weeding out the dumb asses. Those who don't like to pay on time...those who think they are designers....those who are cheap.....those who don't think I am funny and good.
Posts: 3729 | From: Seattle | Registered: Sep 1999
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Even though we sign makers think our art/craft and our contributions are so unique others can’t quite understand our humor or our experiences, that is really probably not so. Every industry I feel certain has their list of idiots. And I feel certain I am on many of their lists, probably near the top.
Alright- here’s my take. They all are pretty idiotic happenings, Bob, and I think I’ve run across all of them many times, I'm with you. Mostly my patience is zero. I have pre-made answers for a number of these situations. I retroactively worked these answers out in my steaming mind, whenever I was unhappy with myself for not rising on the spot to the challenge they presented.
When I’m in a sort of slow time, I sometimes try to work with these difficult ones as an exercise. It’s healthy self- interest.
Usually the positive experiences that follow carry me in the tougher times, which is the times when I have no time, no more energy, but enough money. It also serves to bolster the reputation the ruination of which I contribute to at the times when I lose my cookies.
Over all, when I smell a tough situation has arisen or is about to, I try to not react for something like the proverbial counting to 10 Then I just do my thing, and hope unconscious competence takes over where my emotions might lead me into a Fistfight. NO Verbal duel NO Stepping back and handing them one of my pre-printed maps to a competitor’s place. YES.
-------------------- Myra A. Grozinger Signs Limited Winston-Salem, NC
signslimited@triad.rr.com Posts: 1244 | From: Winston-Salem, NC USA | Registered: Nov 1998
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brian...i love that...it's sounds so much more professional than what has come out of my mouth...i always do laugh after i say something like that...ya know, so they pay me and come back...BUT with a sign there's no uncomfortable chitchat to contend with...yes..that is in deed a wonderful message to display!
-------------------- Karyn Bush Simply Not Ordinary, LLC Bartlett, NH 603-383-9955 www.snosigns.com info@snosigns.com Posts: 3516 | From: Bartlett, NH USA | Registered: Jan 2001
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Bob, how about the ever popular "Did you do that by hand?" The temptation to reply, "No, I always do it with my feet".
One of the nicest signs in a sign shop reads, No sign will be started without a note from your wife.
-------------------- Bill Riedel Riedel Sign Co., Inc. 15 Warren Street Little Ferry, N.J. 07643 billsr@riedelsignco.com Posts: 2953 | From: Little Ferry, New Jersey, USA | Registered: Feb 1999
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