Letterville Bull Board Letterville | Bull Board
 


 

Front Page
A Letterhead History
About Us
Become A Resident
Edit Your Database Info
Find A Letterhead

Letterville Merchants
Resident Downloads
Letterville BookShop
Future Live Meets
Past Meets
Step-By-Steps
Past Panel Swaps
Past SOTM
Letterhead Profiles
Business Cards
Become A Merchant

Click on the button
below to chat with other
Letterville users.

http://www.letterville.com/ubb/chaticon.gif

Steve & Barb Shortreed
144 Hill St., E.
Fergus, ON, Canada
N1M 1G9

Phone: 519-787-2892
Fax: 519-787-2673
Email: barb@letterville.com

Copyright ©1995-2008
The Letterhead Website

 

 

The Letterville BullBoard   
my profile login | search | faq | calendar | im | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Letterville BullBoard » Old Archives » OT -- It's a JOKE! -- OT

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: OT -- It's a JOKE! -- OT
Mike Languein
Visitor
Member # 319

Icon 10 posted      Profile for Mike Languein         Edit/Delete Post 
Subject: The gift that keeps giving

This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website by
an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor.
The company, of course, does not have a sense of humor, and made the web department take it down immediately (for once, the 'IMPORTANT' note at the end is worth a read too...)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
required, but the information will help us to develop new products that
best meet your needs and desires.

1.
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Classified
[_] Other
First Name: ...........................................
Initial: ........
Last Name:..............................................
Password: ............................. (max. 8 char)
Code Name:..............................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: .......... ...........

2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified

3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 20......./......./......

4. Serial Number:........................................

5. Please indicate where this product was purchased
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified

6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased

[_] Heard loud noise, looked up

[_]Store display

[_] Espionage

[_] Recommended by friend / relative /ally

[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer

[_] Was attacked by one

7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision
to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product

[_] Style / appearance

[_] Speed / maneuverability

[_] Price / value

[_] Comfort / convenience

[_] Kickback / bribe

[_] Recommended by salesperson

[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation

[_] Advanced Weapons Systems

[_] Backroom politics

[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please indicate the location(s)where this product will be used
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq

9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future
[_] Color TV

[_] VCR

[_] ICBM

[_] Killer Satellite

[_] CD Player

[_] Air-to-Air Missiles

[_] Space Shuttle {Home Computer

[_] Nuclear Weapon

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate all
that apply:)

[_] Communist / Socialist

[_] Terrorist

[_] Crazed

[_] Neutral

[_] Democratic

[_] Dictatorship

[_] Corrupt

[_] Primitive / Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check

12. Your occupation
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student

13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating
on a regular basis

[_] Golf

[_] Boating / sailing

[_] Sabotage

[_] Running / jogging

[_] Propaganda / misinformation

[_] Destabilization / overthrow

[_] Default on loans

[_] Gardening

[_] Crafts

[_] Black market / smuggling

[_] Collectibles / collections

[_] Watching sports on TV

[_] Wines

[_] Interrogation / torture

[_] Household pets

[_] Crushing rebellions

[_] Espionage / reconnaissance

[_] Fashion clothing

[_] Border disputes

[_] Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers
will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you
better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and
special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and
mysterious consortia.

As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a
brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
Please write to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department,
Military Aerospace Division

IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s)
named above and may contain information that is confidential privileged or
unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of
humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended
recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not
authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating
social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its
correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the Chihuahua next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.

Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to
learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning
backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by
pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you
can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.

Posts: 1859 | From: / | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ryan E Young
Visitor
Member # 2325

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ryan E Young   Author's Homepage   Email Ryan E Young   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Please remove this post becouse I suspect that my local "Signs This Second" shop is run by a terrorist and he may not find this funny. He is already tring to put me out of buisness and I do not want evoke is wrath. I hope I said that right.

--------------------
Ryan Young
Indocil Art & Design
indocil@comporium.net
803-980-6765


I highjacked Letterville!!
Winter Muster 2004

Posts: 904 | From: Rock Hill, SC | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
old paint
Visitor
Member # 549

Icon 1 posted      Profile for old paint   Email old paint   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
MIKE....YOUR A BAAAAAAAAAD MAN......heheheheheh iam adding that disclaimer to all my posts!!!!

[ December 31, 2002, 06:05 PM: Message edited by: old paint ]

--------------------
joe pribish-A SIGN MINT
2811 longleaf Dr.
pensacola, fl 32526
850-637-1519
BEWARE THE TRUTH.....YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT YOU FIND

Posts: 11582 | From: pensacola, fl. usa | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Brian Snyder
Visitor
Member # 41

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Brian Snyder     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Absquatulation

Dictionary definition: ab·squat·u·late [ ab skwóch làyt ] (past ab·squat·u·lat·ed, past participle ab·squat·u·lat·ed, present participle ab·squat·u·lat·ing, 3rd person present singular ab·squat·u·lates) intransitive verb 1. abscond: to leave, especially in a hurry or under suspicious circumstances 2. die: to die 3. argue: to argue [Mid-19th century. A humorous formation modeled on English words of Latin origin, as if from Latin ab away + English squat + -ulate (as in congratulate), literally meaning the reverse of squat, that is, to depart in a hurry.]

--------------------
Brian Snyder
Sign Effectz
Woodbridge, New Jersey

Posts: 723 | From: Woodbridge, NJ USA | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CJ Allan
Visitor
Member # 52

Icon 1 posted      Profile for CJ Allan   Author's Homepage   Email CJ Allan       Edit/Delete Post 
Too much sideways scrolling to bother reading.......

Narrow the sucker down so we can read it........

........cj

--------------------
CJ Allan
CJs Engraving
982 English Dr.
Hazel, KY 42049

www.cjs-engraving.com

Posts: 1284 | From: Hazel, KY. USA | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bob Burns
Visitor
Member # 268

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Bob Burns   Author's Homepage   Email Bob Burns   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Mike......you're gooooooood!

CJ....get a bigger monitor!

--------------------
Bob Burns


www.vondutch.freeservers.com

Posts: 2121 | From: Prescott, Arizona, USA | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Myra Grozinger
Visitor
Member # 327

Icon 16 posted      Profile for Myra Grozinger   Email Myra Grozinger   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hysterical! I love that, thanks for posting it.
The disclaimer is invaluable, and worth saving. And let's not underestimate that circle of salt.

I'm laughing too hard to be fully conscious of how impressed I am, but it will come.

Happy New Year to you and to everyone who reads this, it's just a couple of hours away.
Mike, in your picture you seem to be tipping your hat to it, for today anyway! I tip mine to you for that funny post and the wonderful addendum.

--------------------
Myra A. Grozinger
Signs Limited
Winston-Salem, NC

signslimited@triad.rr.com

Posts: 1244 | From: Winston-Salem, NC USA | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cheryl nordby
Visitor
Member # 1100

Icon 1 posted      Profile for cheryl nordby         Edit/Delete Post 
Hey NO JOKING allowed here.
LOL! You ARE good Mikey.

Posts: 3729 | From: Seattle | Registered: Sep 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mark Neurohr
Resident


Member # 2470

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mark Neurohr   Email Mark Neurohr   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Good job Mike!!

I like it!!!!!!!!!!

--------------------
Mark Neurohr "Ernest"
Paintin' Place
141 Sunnyside Road
Kittanning, PA 16201

724-859-0859
mneurohr3@yahoo.com

Posts: 992 | From: Kittanning, Pennsylvania | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Deb Fowler
Resident


Member # 1039

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Deb Fowler   Email Deb Fowler   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Seriously,

Now that was brilliantly funny!

--------------------
Deb Fowler

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible - Walt Disney (1901-1966)

Posts: 5373 | From: Loves Park, Illinois | Registered: Aug 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jack Davis
Visitor
Member # 1408

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Jack Davis   Author's Homepage   Email Jack Davis   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Mike, What did you paste in this thread to force the side scrolling. Just curious, as I have only seen it happen on bitmaps. P.S.,...very funny!

--------------------
"Don't change horses in midstream, unless you spot one with longer legs" bronzeo oti
Jack Davis
1410 Main St
Joplin, MO 64801
www.imagemakerart.com
jack@imagemakerart.com

Posts: 1549 | From: Joplin, MO | Registered: Mar 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mike Languein
Visitor
Member # 319

Icon 5 posted      Profile for Mike Languein         Edit/Delete Post 
Sidescrolling? ¡I don't get no esteenkin' sidescrolling!

I thought CJ was kidding because the whole thing is in a tall, skinny column on my monitor, just the way I sent it. If anybody else sees this -- it ain't my fault . . .all I did was command C / command V. (Cut&Paste) I'm on Mac.

[Confused]

Posts: 1859 | From: / | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Letterville. A Community Of Letterheads & Pinheads!

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2

Search For Sign Supplies
Category:
 

                  

Letterhead Suppliers Around the World