posted
Well it's been a while since there's been any interesting articles in the National Enquirer. What say we give them something to write about?
I don't suppose it's any coincidence that all the crop circles ever reported on were done in wheat fields and corn fields during the summer. Why do aliens only become artistic in the summer? They don't eat any of the crops... surely it's got to be harder trampling down crops than it would be just flattening some snow? My guess is aliens (up til now) don't like the cold.
To lend more credence to the fact that there are alien calligraphers who regularly use earth as their canvas, I suggest we help them along and decorate some snow covered fields and farmland.
Don't have any farmland near you? How about the local high school football field? Why do aliens only create their masterpieces in fields of corn or wheat? How come they never appear on beaches?Well, obviously they wouldn't be called CROP circles then. We may have to rename the category this kind of artwork falls into.
I suggest we have a winter, alien calligraffiti contest. (I officially now coin that term "Calligraffiti" provided nobody else has previously coined it.)
First, the prize: I will make an award plaque for the winner of this contest. It will be nicely router carved and I'll probably put some gold leaf on it.
The rules: All contests gotta have rules right? Well this one has NO RULES. Here's some suggestions though... Like most crop circles, the alien calligraphiti should appear one morning without anyone else having noticed it being created. Put your snow stompin galoshes on Stealth Mode. This will make it more obvious that these space communications could only have been created by a new breed of aliens who like cold weather.
Use invisible ink and just flatten the snow or make it colorful... use food coloring and water/alcohol or spray paint. Just make sure that whatever colorants you use cannot be traced back to an earthly origin.
Do not spill any hot cocoa in the actual design.
Deadline would be some time before all the snow melts. Certainly before the first day of spring, whenever that is.
Entries must be photographed and sent to either myself or Don Coplen since he wanted pictures of snow angels anyways. (I just nominated Don without his knowledge, so if he objects, I'll volunteer to be the repositor of the secret confidential photos) These photos can be digital, or printed photos. Photos of entries will be posted as they become available.
If you mail printed photos, make it in a plain brown envelope with no return address. Indicate not who created the alien calligraffiti (since it's obvious it was space creatures) but rather who took or submitted the photos.
Judging will be by vote, at the end of the contest, some time before the snow melts. All letterville people may vote for the one alien calligraffiti example that best personifies (if something "alien" can be "personified") artwork done by aliens.
A special bonus award will be given to any alien calligraffiti that actually does get news coverage in the National Enquirer. This could possibly be an all expense paid trip to Venus or Saturn (when the technology becomes available) to the first ever Inter-Celestial Alien CalligraffitiHeads meet. Talk about far out!
Disclaimer: We are not alone but you are on your own. Anyone caught in the act of creating alien calligraffiti will be under strict orders to maintain the secrecy of the contest. You didn't hear about it here. It is suggested that you carry a memory erasing pill with you in the event that you are questioned.
Trample football fields, parking lots, beaches, back yards, etc. at your own risk.
We refuse to bail anyone out since we do not officially exist and have no direct recollection of any such contest, organization or anyone involved in the same.
-------------------- EmpY Mayo Pardo #138 South Elgin, IL. Posts: 436 | From: South Elgin, IL | Registered: Nov 1998
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posted
We could also have a category for bigfoot footprints. Haven't heard anything of him in a while lately and I found some very strange tracks in the snow in my yard the other day.
Right now, I'm trying to decide what I can do in my yard....
-------------------- Chris Welker Wildfire Signs Indiana, Pa Posts: 4254 | From: Indiana, PA | Registered: Mar 2001
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