Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, male and female procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.
Male procedure: 1. Drive up to the ATM. 2. LOWER your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Raise window. 7. Drive off.
Female procedure: 1. Drive up to ATM machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Put hand brake on and then put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in check book and place receipt in back of it. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to ATM machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided. 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and drive off. 25. Redial person on mobile phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Hand Brake.
posted
I have been behind that lady...no kidding the other day I pulled up behind a car at the ATM...I casually continued with a conversation with my passenger while I waited not paying much attention to the car ahead of me...just waiting for it to pull off...after considerable time I began to look more intently to see what the hold up was...seems she had finished her banking business and was now in a conversation on her cell remaining parked at the ATM...I "beeped" her back into reality.
posted
As far as the male procedure, you forgot, 3a. Reach down to re-arrange your junk while waiting for cash.
-------------------- Signs by Alicia Jennings (Mudflap Girl) Tacoma, WA Since 1987 Have Lipstick, will travel. Posts: 3812 | From: Tacoma, WA. U.S.A. | Registered: Dec 1999
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quote:Originally posted by Si Allen: Rusty ... If a couple gets married in Tennessee and moves to California, but then gets divorced ... are they still 1st cousins?
But which one gets to keep the trailer?
-------------------- Dana Blair Blair Signs Wooster, OH www.blairsigns.com
If sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their picket signs? Posts: 835 | From: Wooster, OH, USA | Registered: Jul 1999
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