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Author Topic: Since we are Having an Election...
Neil D. Butler
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Member # 661

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STEPHEN HARPER was visiting an Ontario primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked Mr. Harper if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'.

So our illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'Tragedy'.

A little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playin' in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy."

"Incorrect", said Harper. "That would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everybody inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not", explained Harper, "that's what we would refer to as a great loss''

The room went silent. No other children volunteered.

Harper searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand and said: "If a plane carrying you and Mr. Ignatieff and Mr. Layton and Mr. Duceppe were struck by a 'friendly fire' missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!", exclaimed Harper, "and can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well", said Johnny, "it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be a @%$#%^ accident either!"

--------------------
"Keep Positive"

SIGNS1st.
Neil Butler
Paradise, NF

Posts: 6277 | From: St. John's NF Canada | Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bill Modzel
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Member # 22

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Hmmm, I guess if we change a few names. . . . .

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Bill Modzel
Mod-Zel screen Printing
Traverse city, MI
modzel@sbcglobal.net

Posts: 1357 | From: Traverse City, MI | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jim Moser
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Member # 6526

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I guess Politicians are the same wherever you are .....

--------------------
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain !
Jim Moser Design
13342 C Grass Valley Ave.
Grass Valley, Ca. 95945
530-273-7615 jwmoser@att.net

Posts: 488 | From: Grass Valley, Ca. | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Neil D. Butler
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Member # 661

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They sure are, they are all out for themselves,you can take that to the bank..lol.. where have I heard that before???

--------------------
"Keep Positive"

SIGNS1st.
Neil Butler
Paradise, NF

Posts: 6277 | From: St. John's NF Canada | Registered: Mar 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Glenn Taylor
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Member # 162

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LOL! Love it!!

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BlueDog Graphics
Wilson, NC

www.BlueDogUSA.com

Warning: A well designed sign may cause fatigue due to increased business.

Posts: 10691 | From: Wilson, NC, USA | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ken Henry
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Member # 598

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While walking down the street one day a "Member of Parliament" is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.

'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'

'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the MP.

'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises....

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

'Now it's time to visit heaven.'

So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'

The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the MP. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.


What happened?'

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning.. ...


Today you voted.'

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Ken Henry
Henry & Henry Signs
London, Ontario Canada
(519) 439-1881
e-mail: kjmlhenry@rogers.com

Why do I get all those on-line offers to sell me Viagara, when the only thing hardening is my arteries ?

Posts: 2684 | From: London,Ontario, Canada | Registered: Feb 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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