A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price.
Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him.
Upstairs the wife thinks, (I'm no dummy ), I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.
She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'
He never heard the shot. Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.
-------------------- Jane Diaz Diaz Sign Art 628 W. Lincoln Ave. Pontiac, Il. 61764 815-844-7024 www.diazsignart.com Posts: 4102 | From: Pontiac, IL USA | Registered: Feb 1999
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A guy is 70 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.'He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say a gain,'Pick me up.'
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'
The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.
I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!'
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.
Then the frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hea r what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.'
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
'Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog.'
Posts: 724 | From: Florissant, CO | Registered: Dec 2001
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Joe was a guy that everyone at work couldn't stand. Every time someone told of something that had happened, Joe would always reply, "Well, it could have been worse." So to try to break him of this annoying habit, his coworkers plotted a story so horrible that it couldn't have been any worse. When Joe came into work the next day, they asked him if he had heard what happened to Jim last night. Joe said he hadn't and they began the story. They told him that Jim came home around 8 the night before and found his wife in bed with another man. They laid it on thicker telling him that Jim went nuts and shot the guy, his wife, the kids, and even the family dog. Joe shook his head and said, "That's terrible. But it could have been worse." His coworkers were livid at his reply and asked him how in the hell could this have been any worse? Joe calmly replied that, "Well, if Jim had come home an hour earlier it would have been me that got shot."
-------------------- Dana Blair Blair Signs Wooster, OH www.blairsigns.com
If sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their picket signs? Posts: 835 | From: Wooster, OH, USA | Registered: Jul 1999
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After a long hard trip, Todd was checking into a hotel. He said to the clerk "I hope the porn channel is disabled!" The clerk look at him and said "No, it is regular porn, you sick ba#%$&@!"
-------------------- Si Allen #562 La Mirada, CA. USA
(714) 521-4810
si.allen on Skype
siallen@dslextreme.com
"SignPainters do It with Longer Strokes!"
Never mess with your profile while in a drunken stupor!!!
Brushasaurus on Chat Posts: 8827 | From: La Mirada, CA, USA | Registered: Nov 1998
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