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It's been a very strange year and difficult too. My parents divorced earlier this year and the reason for it is fairly unusual I would think.
My dad admitted after 41 years of marriage that he is gay. Brokeback Mountain was the ironic cinema release for our family! I won't bore you with a long story that started back in January. The short story is that my father aged 67 has hooked up with a Philipino boy who is 5 years my junior, I shall be 35 on January 3rd!. None of us knew when this boy would arrive in the country and Mum has been nervous about it for months. I went to see my father last night to drop off his xmas gifts and Chris was there. He had arrived on Wednesday. I was quite shocked to actually meet him and it made me feel very uncomfortable. I struggled emotionally with wether or not to tell Mum and in the end I went to her home and told her.
I figured that some one else would let slip that Dads boyfriend had officially arrived and moved in with him and I thought it would be better for her to hear it from me and have a good cry about it in the privacy of her own home, rather than having to hold it together in public.
She is still very fragile and I am now having second thoughts. It's such a weird situation to be in and I hate seeing my Mum hurt. Did I do right?
-------------------- Anne McDonald 17 Karnak Crescent Russley Christchurch 8042 New Zealand
"I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure" Posts: 877 | From: Christchurch | Registered: Sep 2006
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In my opinion, without a doubt. It's much better that she hear it from you in private than run into them in public someplace.
-------------------- Kimberly Zanetti Purcell www.amethystProductivity.com Folsom, CA email: Kimberly@AmethystProductivity.com
“Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.” AA Milne Posts: 3722 | From: Folsom, CA | Registered: Dec 2001
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I think you did the right thing. I would think she would rather hear it, kindly, from her daughter, than be shocked by some stranger or worse yet find out you knew about it, were there and DIDN'T tell her. She probably is just reeling with all this and it is good she has you to help her through it.
-------------------- Jane Diaz Diaz Sign Art 628 W. Lincoln Ave. Pontiac, Il. 61764 815-844-7024 www.diazsignart.com Posts: 4102 | From: Pontiac, IL USA | Registered: Feb 1999
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I talked to Mum again this morning and she seemed fairly upbeat. Was making jokes about Dads mail order bride! She was pleased I had told her as she is semi-mentally prepared for the off chance that she bumps into them together.
It's nice to hear that all of you agree with my decision. It's always hard to know what the right thing is as life doesn't come with an instruction manual!
Thankyou
-------------------- Anne McDonald 17 Karnak Crescent Russley Christchurch 8042 New Zealand
"I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure" Posts: 877 | From: Christchurch | Registered: Sep 2006
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It was definatly a tricky situation and you handled it well. As I get older, I find myself trying to protect my 80-year-old Mom from the world. But she's wiser than me, as ever, and always has the right answer. She still protects me from hurts too. I worry, however, about your dad and hope he didn't discover a gold-digger! You need to protect him, too. Without meddling, of course! Love....Jill
Posts: 8834 | From: Butler, PA, USA | Registered: Jan 2001
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Ya done right Anne. Moral wieght lifting makes you stronger. There comes a point where you can't protect, then you can only Love! Merry Christmas.
-------------------- Bill Dirkes Cornhole Art LLC Bellevue, Ky. Goodnight Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are. Posts: 591 | From: Bellevue,Ky. US | Registered: Aug 1999
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Anne, I have to emphasize what Jill mentioned. Watch out for your father's interests. A 30 year old wanting to get together with a 67 year old doesn't make much sense. Add the factor of the 30 year old coming from a different country and it really makes me wonder what the intentions are.
By the way, that's a very interesting story. I almost couldn't believe it when I was reading it. Good luck with your situation.
OH, I agree with the others as well. You definitely needed to tell your mother. It serves no purpose to delay the inevitable, and you can break the news in a much softer manner.
-------------------- Randy Graphic Details Promotional Merchandise Distributor South Glens Falls, NY Posts: 381 | From: South Glens Falls, NY USA | Registered: Mar 2001
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I hear and understand fully what you are saying about the "gold-digger". I have had quite a few choice words with Dad over this subject. My father is a very stubborn and selfish man and is incapable of seeing the wood for the trees in many situations. I don't mean to sound harsh but he has behaved in the most appalling and callous manner this year to all of us.
I sincerely hope that Dad doesn't get burnt by this fellow and that Christophers stated intentions are honest. I've told Dad that I love him but I have also been very honest about how I feel about the whole situation. The two of us have always fought like cats and dogs and have never been particularly close (for a variety of reasons)but he knows that I am here and have not turned my back on him.
At the end of the day he's 67 and old enough to learn from his own mistakes!
-------------------- Anne McDonald 17 Karnak Crescent Russley Christchurch 8042 New Zealand
"I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure" Posts: 877 | From: Christchurch | Registered: Sep 2006
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