posted
Life is too short to spend in misery...and it sounds to me like you have sacrificed enough. Besides, maybe this will be the wake-up call your wife needs to find her own happiness.
Good luck to you!
-------------------- Jon Aston MARKETING PARTNERS "Strategy, Marketing and Business Development" Tel 705-719-9209 Posts: 1724 | From: Barrie, ON, CANADA | Registered: Sep 2000
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I once made a change like the one you are contemplating. My first wife and I decided during our separation that since we share a son, we should remain what we were before we married - friends. And we have. She still consutls with me about business - she calls when she's bored and traveling to catch up - the lines of communication were NEVER like that during our marriage.
One year we coached my son's Little League team together after our divorce - my wife, Jody, and she exchange Christmas gifts now - we sat together at Church on Easter with my son, his Mother, my brother, my wife and myself - we put on his confirmation party together at her house and had a great time - whatever we do, we do as friends who CHOSE to make a bad situation good.
If you want to do that (remain friends), it's possible. If you don't, you should always do what your heart feels strongly about and make the break that saves at least one life.
In any marital discord, two hearts always suffer. If one is courageous enough to leave - at least one heart survives. It's a last resort - and all other methods and attempts should be made to reconcile differences - but in the end, sometimes breakups are best.
I personally dislike one thing about my life - my divorce. I made a pledge to my higher power to stay married. It just didn't work out - though we tried for almost 13 years together. But I have never been happier than I am now - and could never have loved as deeply with my first wife as I do with Jody. What Rick stated above is a beautiful sentiment - and I found it to be true also.
Don't let two hearts die - wherever the path to that end may lead.
Good luck my friend. Sound like I now I have two places to stay in Alaska - yours and Parsons!!
-------------------- Jay Allen ShawCraft Sign Co. Machesney Park, IL jallen222@aol.com http://www.shawcraft.com/
"The object of the superior man is truth." -Confucius Posts: 1285 | From: Machesney Park, IL, USA | Registered: Nov 1998
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posted
Ricky, you have to do what is right for you! When your day to day existance is that negative and black, you deserve the chance to make changes so you can be happy. Since you didn't ASK for advice, I will give none. No one likes to see a marriage end, but sometimes there just is no other alternative...ask me how I know....Bill & I both were married before and now feel we have found our soulmates. Neither of us would have had that opportunity if we had stayed where we were! I feel your pain and hope the best for you.
-------------------- Jane Diaz Diaz Sign Art 628 W. Lincoln Ave. Pontiac, Il. 61764 815-844-7024 www.diazsignart.com Posts: 4102 | From: Pontiac, IL USA | Registered: Feb 1999
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Ricky, I'm going to miss you but Don is right... there is internet access in Alaska.
I'm not going to give you any advice other than to listen to what your gut tells you to do. Not your head, not your heart, not your buddies, your gut. I've never known anyone gut feelings to be wrong.
-------------------- Chris Welker Wildfire Signs Indiana, Pa Posts: 4254 | From: Indiana, PA | Registered: Mar 2001
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posted
Sometimes it is much worse to stay in a marriage than it is to leave it. From what you said above Ricky, I agree with you. Its time to split paths and find seperate roads. When you hit alaska, stop in somewhere and try one o them moosebutt burgers. I heard they were pretty good.
-------------------- Maker of fine signs and other creative stuff. Located at 109 N. Cumberland ave. Harlan, Ky. 40831 606-837-0242 Posts: 4172 | From: Ages-Brookside, Ky. Up the Holler... | Registered: Jul 1999
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posted
Wow...thats quite a story....I wish you the best. I agree though, that you deserve at least half of all your assets, if you can do that without giving some lawyer a big chunk of everything. Good luck, and please stay in touch ....we love ya man.
-------------------- Jeff Ogden 8727 NE 68 Terr. Gainesville FL, 32609 Posts: 2138 | From: 8827 NE 68 Terr Gainesville Fl 32609 | Registered: Aug 2002
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Good Luck Ricky. Sounds like you have worked too dog gone hard to leave her with everything though. Don't close doors behind you in that respect, by saying or signing anything, just in case you change your mind. (people do change their minds once in a while)Life is too short to work that long and not have something to enjoy yourself with. You do deserve it.
-------------------- Deri Russell Wildwood Signs Hanover, Ontario
You're just jealous 'cause the little voices only talk to me. Posts: 1904 | From: Hanover, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 1998
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posted
Ricky, I'll Give you my Ex Wifes Phone Number they can go Shopping and eat Bon Bons Together. Best of luck my Friend.. If your comming through Colorado on your way to the Yukon Stop by and say Hi & Bye
posted
Barb and I have known you guys for many, many years Ricky. Sometimes situations just change. We all know couples that choose to spend their lives in loveless partnerships out of fear of change and/or fear of what others might think. No matter how hard you try, it is not always possible to reignite that magic fire a marriage started out with.
I wish both of you nothing but the best. We don't see each other as often as I would like, but you will always be a friend. Our door and phone is always open to you. Like the song says....
Ricky Don't Lose That Number!
-------------------- Steve Shortreed 144 Hill St., E. Fergus, Ontario Canada N1M 1G9 519-787-2673
posted
After reading the "reasons why" I have to say
"RICKY YOU THE MAN"
I hate to see things end the way they do but hey you can only tighten the vise on your own head so much before your head pops. I think Ricky is at the point of exploding and knows what he needs to do to relieve the pressure.
what sux is seeing you lose everything you worked for, but hey they're just material things and can be replaced with a little work and much more happiness.
Good Luck Brother!!
-------------------- Harris Kohen K-Man Pinstriping and Graphix Trenton, NJ "Showing the world that even I can strategically place the pigment where its got to go." Posts: 1739 | From: Trenton, NJ, USA | Registered: Jun 2001
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posted
Hey you old fool... What I meant when I said "getout" was... are you jokin'? I'll tell you this,it may take a while to put them synapse's together in a new location but from my own experience. IT WORKS..!
Crazyjack
-------------------- Jack Wills Studio Design Works 1465 E.Hidalgo Circle Nye Beach / Newport, OR Posts: 2914 | From: Rocklin, CA. USA | Registered: Dec 1998
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posted
Geeezzz, you guys are great. Thank you so much for your support. I guess one of the things I've been looking for for so long was the "permission". I found that in both of our children and all of my friends. I hated to spill all of the personal stuff but I'm thinking of making a reality show out of it (just teasing!). I know that a lot of you have been where I am now and you have, not only survived but flourished. I fell in love with Alaska 15 years ago when I went up to *paint* signs for Guff Sherman. My only regret was leaving after 2 months. Did I mention that I caught a 63 lb king salmon on that first trip? Did I mention that it was my second king in an hour? I could just go on and on and on about that place. I just got my new Canon Eos digital Rebel XT today; can't go up there with a cheezy camera. Where I'll be starting out there isn't much for internet access and it's pricey too but I'll try to get back to Letterville whenever I can and let you guys know how I'm doing, what I'm doing and how big the fish are that I'm catching. I'm gonna miss you guys so much. I'll miss the constant banter between grandpa and Rainman and all the questions and the things that get under your skin. I wish I had time to post some pix of the jobs in the shop right now, some glass panels, 5', 4' and 3' with acid etched Air Force Emblems on them and a bunch of sandblasted HDU of the same ($9,000 job). Did a couple of nice digital jobs today too. Anyway, enough shop talk. Let me echo what most of you have spoken to me "go for your dreams". You don't get but one go round in life so do like the late, great Mike Stevens wrote in my 2 copies of Mastering Layout (thought I had lost one so I bought another) "Take a path of heart". I love you guys; you are family to me.
-------------------- Ricky Jackson Signs Now 614 Russell Parkway Warner Robins, GA (478) 923-7722 signpimp50@hotmail.com
"If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." Sir Issac Newton Posts: 3528 | From: Warner Robins, GA | Registered: Oct 2004
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quote: Don Juan - A Path with Heart Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions....
Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn't. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.
don Juan
from The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge by Carlos Casteneda
-------------------- Leaper of Tall buildings.. If you find my posts divisive or otherwise snarky please ignore them. If you do not know how then PM me about it and I will demonstrate. Posts: 5274 | From: Im a nowhere man | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
Or as Buddha say, "the universe will guide you" CrazyJack say, "Lord have mercy,mister Percy".
-------------------- Jack Wills Studio Design Works 1465 E.Hidalgo Circle Nye Beach / Newport, OR Posts: 2914 | From: Rocklin, CA. USA | Registered: Dec 1998
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I wish you all the adventure, fortune & serenity you can handle Ricky!
I also have to say, Rick Sack's comments were closest to what I felt needed to be said, ...along with (& certainly part of) all the other support.
You know what is best of course, but the "I told her but she just wasn't listening" part... leading up to the "real shocker" part... well lets just say I hope you & the mother of your son can find some common ground in the next chapter of your lives in much the same way as Jay had described.
I struggled for that through many years of joint custody, & wondered if a few different choices during the initial transition might have resulted in less disharmony for all concerned.
posted
Some things you will either do or die wishing you had done. Don't need any re-enforcement or "permission."
I have not found that most other people are doing what they really want in life. And like the big apes in Paul Simon's song, they're "skeptical of changes in their cages." I followed a dream to an exotic place for a while when I was younger, and if I had it to do again, I would do it sooner. Most people I know thought it was a crazy thing to do, but then I would have been crazy to continue in an unpleasant life. So I didn't need other people's advice about WHETHER to do it or not; I needed advice about HOW to do it. You know what you're getting into, so best of luck to you.
-------------------- Bruce Williams Lexington KY Posts: 945 | From: Lexington, KY, USA | Registered: Mar 1999
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I'd venture to say that a huge part of your business depends on your skills, and somone that steps into buy the shop or even work at the shop is not going to make the $200,000 per year goal because they just can't do what you do.
Digital prints and vinyl just don't add up to those numbers unless there are some very deep "surgar daddy deep pockets" supproting your shop.
I'd also venture to say the business is going to bankrupt in the first year to 15 months after you leave. What a shame.
posted
Actually Dave, after being in the sign business for so long (33 yrs), I knew that having a product mix that depended solely on me was not a wise thing to do so we stuck with the everyday, easy to do things like vinyl, Edge work, and LF printing. My son has been working here for several years and we have a regional manager that is a tremendous resource. Our sales have been $18,000 to $30,000+ a month on those items alone. We don't have any investors (sugar daddy deep pockets) so there's no artificial props here. One of the reasons we went with the franchise is that if and when we sold the business, it would stand on it's own. When I sold my first sign business, everything was built around me. So I barely got paid for my assets and no bluesky whatsoever. I seriously doubt the business here will go bankrupt; there are just too many support systems in place for that to happen. Like they told me when I signed on with Signs Now, "You're in business for yourself but not by yourself".
Today is my last day here at the shop and it's balz to the walz; we have 64 sq ft of sandblasted HDU to paint, a 4' glass panel to acid etch and drill holes, a banner, some digital mags, some RTA's and three Edge jobs (so far). I really can't say that I'll miss it. Being taken advantage of sort of leaves a bad taste in your mouth. I wish them well. She's very sharp in business and capable of making good decisions.
-------------------- Ricky Jackson Signs Now 614 Russell Parkway Warner Robins, GA (478) 923-7722 signpimp50@hotmail.com
"If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." Sir Issac Newton Posts: 3528 | From: Warner Robins, GA | Registered: Oct 2004
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I was unaware of the franchise, I mistakenly thought you were an independant shop. Your departure will impact the overall earnings to a certain percentage, but you are right, it won't crash the business.
But to keep it going, it looks like the "Free" ride off your back and hard work is over!
"Ain't it amazing what you can see from the light of a burning bridge!" I love George Strait
posted
I am so disapointed at what I am reading here. The overwealming support for someone who has publicly decided to leave their mate. "Follow your dreams" you say after only reading one side of the story .
This is NOT a personal attack Ricky. I don't do that. And, you never asked for opinoins, therefore, do what you will, Ricky. I hope you can find the peace you're seeking.
""Good judgment comes from experience; and a lot of that comes from bad judgment" - Will Rogers Posts: 3487 | From: Beautiful Newaygo, Michigan | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
If you're not going to judge him why do you think you need to hear "both sides of the story"? His side is enough for me. If staying together is misery for both of them then his way is the right way. For him. Not you. Not God. For him.
Good luck, bro. You're going to love Alaska.
P
-------------------- Pierre St.Marie Stmariegraphics Kalispell,Mt www.stmariegraphics.com ------------------ Plan on knowing everything before I die and time's running out! Posts: 4223 | From: Kalispell,Mt 59903 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
We really don't need to know either side of the story as it is none of our business. The best any of us can do is keep him and his family in our prayers.
""Good judgment comes from experience; and a lot of that comes from bad judgment" - Will Rogers Posts: 3487 | From: Beautiful Newaygo, Michigan | Registered: Mar 2003
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I want to start off with saying I'm sorry. Divorce is never easy even when the love left the marriage long ago. Starting a new life isn't easy, but I wish you well.
This is none of my business, I realize that, but IMO I REALLY think you should reconsider leaving everything behind to your wife. Regardless of the reason why the marriage didn't work out, the things that the two of you accumulated during that time is AT LEAST half yours. Emotions, guilt, etc., aside, the court certainly considers it half yours and you deserve to have what you have worked for and put your heart into all these years.
take good care, Susan
-------------------- Susan Daniel Huntsville, AL Posts: 53 | From: Huntsville, AL | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
Wrong Pierre, Doug tells us Hawaii is the answer to all our problems. Rick, friends don't try to help in that way. Just support them in whatever they do, no matter what. At least for teenagers it's supposed to work.
-------------------- Wright Signs Wyandotte, Michigan Posts: 2785 | From: Wyandotte, MI USA | Registered: Jan 1999
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posted
Well if Ricky is that unhappy with things, it really doesn't matter what the other side of the story is. He's unhappy, he's gotta take care of his own feelings. We're all responsible for our own happiness, it's as simple as that.
Something tells me she won't be too broken up over Ricky leaving, sounds like they've grown apart anyway.. and he leaves her with a thriving business? Oh boo-hoo for her.
-------------------- "If I share all my wisdom I won't have any left for myself."
Mike Pipes stickerpimp.com Lake Havasu, AZ mike@stickerpimp.com Posts: 8746 | From: Lake Havasu, AZ USA | Registered: Jun 2000
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posted
Damn, I moved all the way to Georgia so I could meet Ricky and he moves!
Best of luck, Ricky. Belive me when I say this from the bottom of my heart... It's not always easy to do what your heart tells you to, but when it tells you for long enough, it's for a good reason. Listen and be well. Rapid
-------------------- Ray Rheaume Rapidfire Design 543 Brushwood Road North Haverhill, NH 03774 rapidfiredesign@hotmail.com 603-787-6803
I like my paint shaken, not stirred. Posts: 5648 | From: North Haverhill, New Hampshire | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
Get a good laywer and for goodness sakes, don't rush into this without taking some time to really think things over. Right now you're really pi$$ed...been there. If you go off and leave EVERYTHING behind, you'll never enjoy Alaska because sooner or later , reality will set in and instead of fishing for King Salmon, yo'll be spending all your time kicking yourself in the a$$, believe me it's no fun.
-------------------- George Perkins Millington,TN. goatwell@bigriver.net
"I started out with nothing and still have most of it left"
posted
From the point of view of two people who have been there and done that. Shirley and I both walked away from our respective marriages with just a couple of suitcases and a load of debt. At the time we were still fairly young (35ish).
When I mentioned your plan, Ricky, she suggested I throw in our two cent's worth and say. Walk away if you want...... but don't walk away empty handed.
We both agree that IF our relationship were to turn sour that neither one of us would lose everything that the two of us, together, have worked so hard to achieve in the last 26 years.
Long gone are the days when the husband always ended up with the short end of the stick in a divorce.
-------------------- Dave Grundy retired in Chelem,Yucatan,Mexico/Hensall,Ontario,Canada 1-519-262-3651 Canada 011-52-1-999-102-2923 Mexico cell 1-226-785-8957 Canada/Mexico home
quote:Originally posted by Ricky Jackson: OK guys, unless you know me and my wife and the "whys" I am doing this, you are not qualified to ask me not to do this....
...I'm the one stuck in this situation. I appreciate your concerns but this is not a debate.
Ricky, I'm sure you are quite busy with your timetable, & may have "left the building" ...if not, allow me one more sincere wish for good fortune & godspeed on your journey. I agree that you are not looking to debate a personal decision that has already been made. I think it is a powerful enough discussion topic that it has, & will most likely continue to take on a life of it's own after you have gone. Your decision is not a debate, but the topic may become one without intention to pass judgement. Just one more thing receeding into the background as the call of the wilderness settles like a mist of deafening silence & unfathomable clarity,
As far as discussing the "general" topic of making the kind of heart-wrenching, life-changing decision Ricky has MADE already, this is not a private discussion in Ricky's living room... like any other thread, it is more like a ongoing free-for-all discussion in a coffee shop, with 50+ people coming & going. (& coming back again... for days & days) I don't know what topic could possibly be more like the union of politics & religion then the topic of marriage, so it is not surprising that there will be different views on this. Those that want to share their views while attempting to discredit the views of others are proving another similarity between this topic & the topics of politics or religion.
quote:Originally posted by David Wright: Wrong Pierre, Doug tells us Hawaii is the answer to all our problems...
David, I appreciate your sense of humor, & the dry, sarcastic, straight-faced delivery is usually intelligently masking some hidden meaning, but in your recent reply, I know you never read that into any comment I've made, so I am at a complete loss for what it is supposed to mean.
posted
Sheesh, Doug, I got Dave's joke... Alaska... Hawaii... total extremes... You got singled out because you live there...
-------------------- Bruce Bowers
DrCAS Custom Lettering and Design Saint Cloud, Minnesota
"Things work out best for the people who make the best of the way things work out." - Art Linkletter Posts: 6451 | From: Saint Cloud, Minnesota | Registered: Jun 1999
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You want to talk about "extremes"... I've been trying to tell you guys the answer to all your problems is to go deep into the amazon jungle, get kidnapped by a dying tribe of aborigines, & become initiated through shared use of the "vision vine" Ayahuasca! Doesn't anybody read anymore?
posted
Ricky, I just caught your thread. It's tough to see someone go through this. At least you have a dream and a plan. It's a waste of time to be miserable, and I am not going to give advice either. We all learn about life through experiences, good and bad. It's good that you came here to reflect, as I see so much wisdom and viewpoints from the folks here. What a sounding board. Even when I was a small child, I remember the Eskimo folklore and my grandparents going traveling through Victoria and then up on the Alaskan cruises, and the beautiful slides they brought back. The land is so clean and full of character and excitement, and I think it would do you good to follow your dream. Many of us rarely do. Whatever you decide, and however you do it, I hope you find good legal counsel as George and others say. Put your feelings into perspective so you have a clear head to have at least half of the business profit. You deserve it and you know it. An amicable settlement is the best way for you and especially for the children, as your happiness also affects everyone. I wish you the happiness for a lifetime, and, yes, there is internet access to letterville from there! And it sounds like a good run with "man's best friend" would be wonderous for your soul!
-------------------- Deb Fowler
"It's kind of fun to do the impossible - Walt Disney (1901-1966) Posts: 5373 | From: Loves Park, Illinois | Registered: Aug 1999
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