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» The Letterville BullBoard » Letterhead/Pinstriper Talk » OT-Think Before You Speak

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Author Topic: OT-Think Before You Speak
Troy Haas
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Member # 472

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Think before you speak...

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back...
or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....


FIRST TESTIMONY:


I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back

My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.


SECOND TESTIMONY:


I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls.


THIRD TESTIMONY:


My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.




FOURTH TESTIMONY:


While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me,
were screams of laughter.


FIFTH TESTIMONY:


Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch ,in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco,
I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked
my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
The realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go,
and he said "No".
I kept thinking
"Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.


I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks
and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!


LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:


This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:

"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

--------------------
Troy "Metalleg" Haas
626 Kingswood Dr
Evansville,In 47715

Posts: 1100 | From: Evansville,Indiana, USA | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
John Duckett
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Member # 4505

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These are too funny! Thanks for sharing. Having a 4 year old, we've had some moments, thankfully not this bad.

--------------------
John Duckett
Strike Creative
Greenwood, South Carolina

Posts: 277 | From: Greenwood, SC | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jillbeans
Resident


Member # 1912

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At the hardware store, when the Lance man came in....he asked me to check his nuts!
He was referring to his hot-n-spicy peanuts of course, but he really made me do a double take.
He also sells Honey Buns.
Love....Jill

Posts: 8834 | From: Butler, PA, USA | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Laura Butler
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Member # 1830

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I'm going to pass but let me say, I have said 2 similiar things that could compete...one being just last week.

--------------------
Laura Butler
Vision Graphics & Sign
4479 Welch Rd
Attica, Mi 48412

Posts: 2855 | From: Attica, Mi, USA | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Chuck Churchill
Resident


Member # 68

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Just before Christmas I acquired a 8' tall inflatible snowman with arms stetched out. Brought it to the shop and we decided to set it up in our front window as a Christmas decoration for the motorists on the busy street to enjoy.

I enlisted the help of our 20 year old female employee in this inflation. We were having great fun with it and the she questioned if it was a snow boy or a snow girl. I started to say that it must be a snow girl because if it was a snow boy it would have a couple of snow balls....
I turned around and she was beet red and giggling like crazy! She was thinking anatonmy while I was going to add ....because little boys would have there arms up like that ready to throw them.

--------------------
Chuck Churchill,
It's A Good Sign Inc.
3245 Harvester Rd, U-12
Burlington, Ont.
Phone: 905-681-8775
Fax: 905-681-8945

Posts: 633 | From: Burlington, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 1998  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Roland Pinan
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Member # 2724

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I went to the paint store a while back and had the girl mix a couple gallons for me. She's a real nice good looking woman. She said "You wanna box?" I said " No, but I'll wrestle with you." She turned five shades of red.


edit... this goddinfla on Roland's computer

[ February 08, 2006, 11:10 AM: Message edited by: Roland Pinan ]

--------------------
Cobra Pinstriping & Signs
907 E Skagway Ave
Tampa, FL 33604-1747
(813) 933-9096

Posts: 46 | From: Tampa, FL | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sheila Ferrell
Resident


Member # 3741

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[Rolling On The Floor]

Those are great Troy . . . 'specially the little boy at Taco Bell. [Big Grin]

I have been VERY particular for many years now about asking specifically for 'finials' or 'pediments' for post finishes.

My first attempt at communicating this request was walkin' into a lumber supply , which of course, happened to be full of men employees and customers . . .

"Do you have any of those balls? . . . " as I approached the counter and held my hands up creating a circle . . . the whole place erupted in laughter, just before I could say '...for post tops', while I turned beet-red. [Embarrassed]

The guy behind the counter said:
"I like to think we do . . ."
[Embarrassed] [Big Grin]

That's a real ice-breaker, huh . . . lol

--------------------
Signs
Sweet Home Alabama


oneshot on chat


"Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man, work like a dog"

Posts: 5758 | From: "Sweet Home" Alabama | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Todd Gill
Resident


Member # 2569

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About 12 years ago....I was at a company golf outing . I'm not a golfer and my form is terrible.

Well, every time I teed off, the ball would go skimming along the grass instead of launching nicely into the air.

Finally, after another tee where I hit a "worm-burner"....I yelled, "Jeez! I can never get it up!"

The guys in my group roared with laughter and made fun of me the rest of the day.

--------------------
Todd Gill
Outside The Lines
Potterville, MI

Posts: 7792 | From: Potterville, MI | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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