A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife." What type of bra?" asked the clerk. Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?" "Look around." said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from." Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied: "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?" Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple... The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen, The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills."
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed! (A} Almost Boobs... {B} Barely there. {C}! Can't Complain! {D} Dang! {DD} Double dang! {E} Enormous! {F} Fake. {G} Get a Reduction. {H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up !
They forgot the German bra. Holtzemfromfloppen
-------------------- Jane Diaz Diaz Sign Art 628 W. Lincoln Ave. Pontiac, Il. 61764 815-844-7024 www.diazsignart.com Posts: 4102 | From: Pontiac, IL USA | Registered: Feb 1999
| IP: Logged |
-------------------- Nicola Rowlands RGS Signs & Screenprinting Reval Green Finavon By Forfar Angus scotland 01307 850 260
'learn from the mistakes of others..you can't live long enough to make them yourself' Posts: 108 | From: scotland | Registered: Jan 2005
| IP: Logged |
Bobbie...Neither me nor Shirl had heard that one!!!
Bill...you been lookin at kiddie porn again??? (just kiddin Bill..I know yer an old man NOT a dirty old man!!)
-------------------- Dave Grundy retired in Chelem,Yucatan,Mexico/Hensall,Ontario,Canada 1-519-262-3651 Canada 011-52-1-999-102-2923 Mexico cell 1-226-785-8957 Canada/Mexico home
posted
There used to be an aussie version of that joke including the new sheepdog wonderbra- it rounds them up & points them in the right direction. Sadly, I can't remember the rest though!
-------------------- "Stewey" on chat
"...there are no limits when you aim for perfection..." Jonathan Livingston Seagull Posts: 7014 | From: Highgrove via Toowoomba, Queensland, Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
White: Pure, usually worn by nurses or librarians. Comes with optional across-the boob seams, thicker elastic, and and X between the boobs. White Lace: For brides, usually front-closured for easy access. Pink: Slightly flirty (or was once white but mixed up in the red laundry load) Red: Red Hot Mama, usually a present from a lover on Valentine's Day. Blue: Island Girl Floral Pattern: The gal who likes to shop at K-Mart, who has an inner flower child. Usually has matching "days of the week" panties. Grey: Shoulda used Clorox/Trailer trash. Usually has stretched-out elastic, a missing underwire for that "lopsided" look, often accompanied by a safety pin. Nude: For that mystery gal...does she or doesn't she? Black: Va-Voom, optional cone cups for that Madonna look. Always underwire. Black Lace: For the woman who doesn't mind a bit of itching, usually in a demi-cup so their nips pop out at inopportune moments. Nursing Bra: Has flaps that fold down, much like the opening in men's whitey tighties, that is never really used. Who wants to waste time unleashing the food supply when a hungry baby is crying? Can be any color but is usually white. Padded Bra: again for the mystery gal, great for first dates but hard to explain later in the relationship. Love.....jill
Posts: 8834 | From: Butler, PA, USA | Registered: Jan 2001
| IP: Logged |
-------------------- Bill Riedel Riedel Sign Co., Inc. 15 Warren Street Little Ferry, N.J. 07643 billsr@riedelsignco.com Posts: 2953 | From: Little Ferry, New Jersey, USA | Registered: Feb 1999
| IP: Logged |
-------------------- Bill Riedel Riedel Sign Co., Inc. 15 Warren Street Little Ferry, N.J. 07643 billsr@riedelsignco.com Posts: 2953 | From: Little Ferry, New Jersey, USA | Registered: Feb 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
Since "the closer the bone, the sweeter the meat" and since "more than a mouthful is wasted" the "hic cup" mentioned by Bill could be eliminated for the "A" size.
Just a humble observation on my part.
-------------------- Bill Diaz Diaz Sign Art Pontiac IL www.diazsignart.com Posts: 2107 | From: Pontiac, IL | Registered: Dec 2001
| IP: Logged |
"A" cup, them the kind that you can wear backwards and no one notices???
Hey Steve, like the new look (full on facial fuzz), kinda like a Mike Meyer look, except on you I think it works...lol
-------------------- "Are we having fun yet?" Peter Schuttinga DZines Sign Studio 1617 Millstream rd Victoria BC V9B-6G4 Posts: 521 | From: Victoria BC | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
As a kid, I found my Mom's bras(all white) handy for a multitude of things, for instance...one made a excellent eye blind for my horse during parades, just cut enough of a hole for him to see...one was converted into a back pack of sorts...(hey, ya used what you could find)...another found it's way onto a straw scarecrow, soaked in catsup and thrown onto windshield of tourist's car at 2am one morning, for grins...one even won a bet about a certain cheerleader...school principle pulled last one off of flagpole at same time he issued warning, I figured it has been fun, going into Navy, time to quit, besides, Mom was starting to miss them...this all took place over maybe a 18 month period of time..............
-------------------- Frank Magoo, Magoo's-Las Vegas; fmagoo@netzero.com "the only easy day was yesterday" Posts: 2365 | From: Las Vegas, Nv. | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Here's a under religious-wear joke . . .(which is on-topic of this particular off-topic thread title . . . sort'a . . .)
Joe the cab driver, a young and very handsome fellow, stops to pick up a rather young and attractive looking soft-spoken nun dressed in her habit.
She tells Joe the address, and notices he keeps staring at her in his mirror while he's driving . . .finally he says, "Sister . . . can I tell you something? Something very personal?"
"Yes, my child . . .?"
Joe says: "I've always had a secret wish . . . a desire to kiss a nun . . ."
"Well . . . I think we can make that wish come true! But . . . . you'd have to be a Catholic . . . and single . . ." she paused . . .
"Oh I am, I AM both!" Joe replied as he pulled over.
So the beautiful planted a kiss on handsome Joe that would've made a hooker blush . . . . and started to get out of the cab.
Then, Joe feeling guilty, said, 'Sister . . . I have a confession . . . I'm not really a catholic . . .and I'm married too . . ."
"That's ok . . . .I'm not really a nun . . ." she replied her voice suddenly changing, "I'm just a guy on my way to a masquerade party . . ."
-------------------- Signs Sweet Home Alabama
oneshot on chat
"Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man, work like a dog" Posts: 5758 | From: "Sweet Home" Alabama | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
From an old joke... upper topper flopper stopper.
Oh well.. might as well tell the whole joke.
If a jock strap is a lower decker pecker checker, And a bra is an upper topper flopper stopper, and gold toilet paper is a super duper pooper scooper, what do you call a punch drunk Japanese boxer whose father has diarrea? A slap happy jappy with a crappy pappy.
-------------------- Dave Sherby "Sandman" SherWood Sign & Graphic Design Crystal Falls, MI 49920 906-875-6201 sherwoodsign@sbcglobal.net Posts: 5397 | From: Crystal Falls, MI USA | Registered: Apr 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
Sheila - UUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH! LMAO - he deserved it !!!! reminds me of a song by Jimmy Buffet - it's called "Coastal Confessions" on the "License to Chill" CD. . . .
[ November 10, 2005, 12:19 AM: Message edited by: Carl Wood ]
-------------------- Carl Wood Olive Branch, Ms Posts: 1392 | From: Olive Branch,MS USA | Registered: Nov 1999
| IP: Logged |
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Rolling On The Floor]](graemlins/rolf.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Applause]](graemlins/applause.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic