posted
Ok...I've been a bachelor since last Wednesday night.
My wife went with the kids to a Christian youth contemporary, multistage concert called "Icthus" in Wilmore, Kentucky. It's basically a Christian Woodstock.
We've been married 21 years and this is the first time I've ever been at "home alone." I've been on tons of out of town trips, but never visa-versa where I've been the one at home...
It's kinda weird....but I'm getting used to it for the few days they're away.
Why do I say women are the best? Let me tell you:
First, I was left with instructions to do the grocery shopping - - - I went to the store and after about 45 minutes was about 3/4 of the way done. I then rounded the end of an isle to find they had 4 isles roped off and flooded with soapy water from one end to the other...apparently washing them.
This is at a grocery store chain that advertised "all night" hours....I was in there around 10:30 pm.
Anyway, they wouldn't let me finish so I got PO'd and left my cart and walked out the door and went to the "super Wal-Mart" which is also opened 24 hours.
I start over and take forever and end up getting back at 12:20 AM and unload/put away groceries which is completed by 12:45 AM....I go to bed at about 1 am in the morning.
Then...amongst trying to impress my wife with my self-sufficiency by keeping up on the laundry (my own) and vacuuming, and cleaning the bathrooms, and mopping all the tile floors, etc.....I decide to really impress her by making homemade lasagna so she can just place it into the oven when she gets back Sunday....
I shop for all the right ingredients and carefully follow the cookbook instructions and put it all together....takes me about 2 hours. I had to clean up the huge mess I made..I never realized it was so time consuming. My back ached when I was done.
A-N-Y-W-A-Y.......I get to thinking....women are unbelievably great! Food magically appears at mealtime, the house is always in perfect order, the kid's schedules and appointments are memorized and rigidly kept while she also works a full-time job.
My wife never takes naps (calls them a waste of time) and complains very little....
So after a couple days of having a taste of what she has come to do as routine...I've decided that I am a pathetic slug that has somehow come to just take these "roles" for granted.
Meals magically appear ... seemingly without effort, and all I have to do is make sure I shower, shave, and put my pants on with the zipper to the front.
How things got like this is a mystery to me....over the years we sort of settled into these unfair roles....I recall helping with dishes, and making dinners and all the other stuff when we were first married.
My wife really is a superwoman and a supermom...and having this time to reflect has motivated me into taking on more responsibilities so my wife can have some "down time."
Yeah, I do occassionally help by vacuuming, and making the bed, and I do all the remodeling and fix-it stuff and landscaping....but there is still no real comparison....
Women are no-doubt, far and away superior to men in many ways: Tougher, harder working, more tolerant, etc.
I hereby express my gratitude to this gender....and vow to become more of a 50/50 partner instead of a consumer of my wife's generosity.
I sure hope when she comes home from this outing, bedraggled from camping out in terrible weather with a bunch of stinky, goofy teens.....that I put a smile upon her face as I pull out the lasagna dish and say, "You sit back honey, this'll be ready for you in about 40 minutes."
posted
Woohoo Todd! Thankfully I have the kind of husband who still does most of the dishes, mops, etc, etc, etc. I know that he is a rarity.
One hint about the lasagna...take it out of the fridge about an hour before you want to bake it - bring it up to near room temp. Preheat the oven well (15 minutes) and then bake it. If you try and bake something cold out of the fridge, it's A) gonna take forever and B) not going to cook evenly.
-------------------- Kimberly Zanetti Purcell www.amethystProductivity.com Folsom, CA email: Kimberly@AmethystProductivity.com
“Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.” AA Milne Posts: 3722 | From: Folsom, CA | Registered: Dec 2001
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MAN . . .I hope your wife has a copy of this so when you 'forget' all this and slip back into your selfish taking-her-for-granted role you can have it to 'reflect' on again . . .LOL
Now, imagine single-parent income & life and a mother or father who does all that totally alone . . .and if ya know any single-parents do any little thing once a month even, to help them out . . .mow their grass . . . take their kids for a weekend . . .if they're sick, take & pick-up their kids from school those days . . . any tiny little or big favor is a total blessing . . .
-------------------- Signs Sweet Home Alabama
oneshot on chat
"Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man, work like a dog" Posts: 5758 | From: "Sweet Home" Alabama | Registered: Mar 2003
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DrCAS Custom Lettering and Design Saint Cloud, Minnesota
"Things work out best for the people who make the best of the way things work out." - Art Linkletter Posts: 6451 | From: Saint Cloud, Minnesota | Registered: Jun 1999
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posted
Thanks for the cooking tip Kimberly....I would have blown that one for sure! I was amazed that there is such a thing as "minced garlic clove" and "Crushed Mediterannean Basil".....
I am going to print out my post and set it on her pillow....
Women are amazing: On one hand, they can be so soft and sentimental and at times vulnerable...yet when push-comes-to-shove......they are the ones that can "Git-R-Done."
I'm just amazed and enlightened and feel like I've sort of lost some valuable time.
I'm no "girlie man"...but I gotta tell you guys....if you've become a slug....re-evaluate life....and how the role you have unconsciously taken may be taking advantage of the love of your life....
Thanks for the support and encouragement ladies.
Bruce - get back in the kitchen where ya belong! Hehehehe...
posted
Ketchup bottle stays on the table until she gets home.
-------------------- John Lennig / Big Top Sign Arts 5668 Ewart Street, Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada bigtopya@hotmail.com 604.451.0006 Posts: 2184 | From: Burnaby, British Columbia,Canada | Registered: Nov 2001
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posted
Wow Todd...you just made me realize how incredibly special Jeff is since he does most of the cooking, alot of the cleaning, and he never gives me a hard time about taking a nap after work. Then, I read Sheila's reply and went Wow! I was that 'single parent/doing everything for everyone'for years...no wonder I'm still tired and it feels so good to have someone take such good care of me now. I definitely appreciate all that Jeff has done for me since we found each other and I think I'll do the cooking tomorrow night
Karen
-------------------- Karen Sartain,'Pisel' on chat 11699 E Hwy 181 Willcox, Arizona 85643
We are not human beings on a spiritual journey.We are spiritual beings on a human journey."-Stephen Covey Posts: 336 | From: Chiricahua National Monument, Az | Registered: Nov 1998
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posted
All this is making me happy to read. It's nice when a lightbulb goes off in the right direction - Todd, you sound like you made a break through, and your life just got better.
And also....as a single mother who did it all ...everything that Sheila said
-------------------- Myra A. Grozinger Signs Limited Winston-Salem, NC
signslimited@triad.rr.com Posts: 1244 | From: Winston-Salem, NC USA | Registered: Nov 1998
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It's nice to be appreciated. Don't forget to give her a back rub after dinner. Love....Jill
Posts: 8834 | From: Butler, PA, USA | Registered: Jan 2001
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posted
Sorry Todd no sympathy here...We use this phrase around my house. "You wouldn't miss me if I was never gone".
Send her away more often and you'll learn to cope better...
Just think how happy you're going to be when she returns...especially when she finds out you burned her favorite Lasagna pan and screwed up her washing machine.
Good luck...maybe she'll take mercy on you and take you along next time!
I mean put yourself in her place...imagine how worried she must be by now! Not really nowing how many house plants died while she was away or finding odd colored laundry and half pairs of sox...not to mention the dog that lost 5 pounds.
Better meet her with a nice bouquet of flowers...it won't change anything you've done or been thru but she'll have a smile on her face for an hour or two anyway!
OH yeah...btdt...
[ April 25, 2005, 09:07 AM: Message edited by: Monte Jumper ]
-------------------- "Werks fer me...it'll werk fer you"
Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity. — Charles Mingus Posts: 6718 | From: Mendocino, CA. USA | Registered: Nov 1998
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posted
Well...???? Come on, you can't leave us hanging! What was her reaction? How did the lasagna turn out?
-------------------- Kimberly Zanetti Purcell www.amethystProductivity.com Folsom, CA email: Kimberly@AmethystProductivity.com
“Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.” AA Milne Posts: 3722 | From: Folsom, CA | Registered: Dec 2001
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posted
Well, the lasagna was greeted by near tears. She was very appreciative that I did that, knowing she would be whipped from a trip with a bunch of noisy teenagers....and it was pretty good!!
The darn noodles on the bottom of the glass 13X9X2 pan were kinda baked hard to the bottom...but was able to get it out just above that and it was really quite tasty....in fact, she said it was better than hers and she couldn't believe I made it "from scratch" all by myself.
The kids picked out the tomato's and other "foreign" substances as was to be expected....
I wiped some cooking oil around on the bottom of the glass pan before baking....thinking that would make it "not" stick....did I screw that part up?...I forgot to ask my wife about that afterwards.
She was really quite happy I did so much while she was gone....it was all good.
Thanks again...
Monte...hahahaha...I did alright for a klutz....I managed to keep the whites with the whites and so on....I don't know how the Pilgrims did it!!
I even kept the washing machine from marching out of the room on two corners...so I must have balanced everything just right.
By the way...what's BTDT? I'm scratching my head on that one.
-------------------- Todd Gill Outside The Lines Potterville, MI Posts: 7792 | From: Potterville, MI | Registered: Dec 2001
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Wow! Todd, this was a really heart-melting post. I often go back to the premise that what's missing most in a lot of people is an attitude of gratitude. Thanks for praising your wife publicly and elevating the worth of all good-natured women (and men too, really)
-------------------- Nancie W. Phillips White Dove Painting Studio 74 Dacula Road, Dacula, GA 30019 678-887-3339
posted
Todd, Just don't try to do any of that stuff, when the little lady is home. Mostly you'll get awhole lot of pointers on how to do it RIGHT NEXT TIME.
in fact btdt to Sheila, as I was a single dad for several of my daughters grade school years... busy times to say the least.
One season when I was planting trees in a co-op in Oregon, we had five 2 year olds in camp in the mountains. Since one was mine, every third day I took my turn missing work to watch the 5 kids all day... that was the most zen headspace I've ever been, because there was absolutely no time for any self centered thoughts or desires. It was so all encompasing that it was liberating in a way to not be subject to selfish thoughts & instead just pay attention for the next clue of what must be done.
posted
When my wife is away for any length of time I have specific instructions to "stay away from the laundry!"
The secret is to screw things up so badly while she is away she won't want you doing anything next time.
Back off ladies....I'm only kidding.
If you want to really appreciate what your spouse does, just trade roles for a few days. When Jeanne is away, I suddenly see that what I thought just magically appeared has to be done by someone...and since our kids are all grown now there is less responsibility, but still a lot to do.
I am extremely fortunate to have a wife who worked to help me get through college and continues to work outside the home in order for me to do what I love to do. Those kind of ladies are extremely rare. Hopefully, I do show her my appreciation by taking my share of the work load at home. And it's worked for us for over 41 years.
My son, Mike, is a single Dad, so I am aware of how much he has to do to keep the home going.
P.S. Marriage is never a 50-50 situation - it's a 100-100 arrangement.
-------------------- Chapman Sign Studio Temple, Texas chapmanstudio@sbcglobal.net Posts: 6306 | From: Temple, Texas, USA | Registered: Nov 1998
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I've been a "bachlorette" for the last 5 days. Hubby & daughter are coming home today. I didn't have to cook, clean, play taxi driver, etc. It was so quite and relaxing - almost better than a vacation on the beach. I almost didn't know what to do with myself. During one particularly boring moment, I actually did some laundry. Ended up spending a whole bunch of time with my Mother. Sometimes, women need a little break, any way they can find it. But I do miss the lawn being mowed, the weeds being whacked, the shared laughter at something funny, and not having to feed the animals. I even miss the teen attitude that shows up on occaision. I didn't have anyone to tell them what to do! Appreciating the little things in life is so important. Todd - you are a master and I applaud you!!!!!
-------------------- Bomba-Dear Jackie Vaughn #5115 Volcano, California www.chocoholic.com Posts: 761 | From: Volcano, California, USA | Registered: Nov 1998
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A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. I'd like to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant My dress size, you dumb ass!"
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
(J/K Todd, this just reminded me of your post. LOL)
-------------------- Kimberly Zanetti Purcell www.amethystProductivity.com Folsom, CA email: Kimberly@AmethystProductivity.com
“Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.” AA Milne Posts: 3722 | From: Folsom, CA | Registered: Dec 2001
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posted
BTW, Todd...I just realized no one answered your question about your 'crunchy noodles'... The key to keeping the noodles from sticking to the bottom of the pan is to actually put a layer of sauce down first. At least that's what's worked for me...
-------------------- Nancie W. Phillips White Dove Painting Studio 74 Dacula Road, Dacula, GA 30019 678-887-3339
posted
Yup, Nancy is right. You want to put down a nice layer of sauce first. Sorry that I didn't answer your question sooner.
-------------------- Kimberly Zanetti Purcell www.amethystProductivity.com Folsom, CA email: Kimberly@AmethystProductivity.com
“Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.” AA Milne Posts: 3722 | From: Folsom, CA | Registered: Dec 2001
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posted
Ahhhhh! The sauce! Thanks Nancy....I guess I should write "better homes and gardens" and tell them they excluded that step...unless I misread it! Hahahaha.
Good joke Kimberly!
Ray - you're right!...it really is much better when you give more than just half....
Great replies everyone...much appreciated.
-------------------- Todd Gill Outside The Lines Potterville, MI Posts: 7792 | From: Potterville, MI | Registered: Dec 2001
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