posted
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15%of the total, or 378 million. At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to be 967,7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth, we are now talking about .78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second-- 3000 times the speed of sound. For the purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run at best at 15 miles per hour.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming each child gets nothing more then a medium sized lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer could pull no more then 300 pounds. Even granting that a flying reindeer could pull ten times that much, the job can't be done with eight or even nine reindeer. Santa would need 360,000 reindeer. This increases the payload, not counting the sleigh, another 54000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship). 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates an enormous air resistance that would heat up the reindeer in much the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second, each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached his fifth house.
Not that that matters, however, because Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 mi/sec in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (being kind) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink and red goo.
Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. Merry Christmas.
-------------------- Steven Girard steven@lettragesgirard.com
DrCAS Custom Lettering and Design Saint Cloud, Minnesota
"Things work out best for the people who make the best of the way things work out." - Art Linkletter Posts: 6451 | From: Saint Cloud, Minnesota | Registered: Jun 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
Steven, you ruined my Christmas. I was going to stay up this year and see if I could catch him. Moving that fast, I wouldn't even be able to see him, so I guess I'll go to bed early again this year.
-------------------- Rove Gratz Gratz Signs 342 Walden Station Drive Macon, GA 31216 rovegratz@aol.com Home Page: http://rove-342.tripod.com Posts: 861 | From: Macon, GA 31216 | Registered: Jan 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Ah, but you see, Santa is not an ordinary human being. Being the special soul that he is, things that hurt us, do not hurt him. And so goes his reindeer too. They, like him, are protected by an unknown force from any harm. Those of us that believe know what this force is, but I cant tell you. You have to figure that one out. But if you are a doubter, forget it. Only those that are true Santa believers can see, feel,and understand these types of things. Merry Christmas!
-------------------- Maker of fine signs and other creative stuff. Located at 109 N. Cumberland ave. Harlan, Ky. 40831 606-837-0242 Posts: 4172 | From: Ages-Brookside, Ky. Up the Holler... | Registered: Jul 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
It's the red suit I tell you! He and It are magic. Anyone have a problem with that? If yo do then no presents for you because I'm sure he reads this board and expecially this post!
-------------------- Michael A Latham Tee's Me Shirt & Sign 16462 Jefferson Davis Highway Colonial Heights Va. 804-835-3299 signdogopie@aol.com Posts: 379 | From: Colonial Heights, Virginia | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Hahaha...you guys kill me. Since we like to open our presents on Chrismas Eve (my husband works every Christmas morning) - we tell my daughter that Santa is SO busy that he drops her stuff off early. Then he does a quick fly-by after she goes to sleep that night and fills her stocking up. My husband has also convinced her that by the time Santa gets all the way to Southern California, he's ready for a big bourbon on the rocks with his cookies. Only so much milk a guy can drink.
-------------------- Kimberly Zanetti Purcell www.amethystProductivity.com Folsom, CA email: Kimberly@AmethystProductivity.com
“Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.” AA Milne Posts: 3722 | From: Folsom, CA | Registered: Dec 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
I am trying to be a bad boy so Santa will fill my stocking full of coal. Hey, with the price of coal, it will be good for heating the house!
-------------------- Bruce Bowers
DrCAS Custom Lettering and Design Saint Cloud, Minnesota
"Things work out best for the people who make the best of the way things work out." - Art Linkletter Posts: 6451 | From: Saint Cloud, Minnesota | Registered: Jun 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
My 3 year old granddaughter thinks that Santa lives at the front doors at Wal-Mart and will only talk and sing to you if you step on the button by his toes.
[ November 28, 2004, 08:58 PM: Message edited by: Laura Butler ]
-------------------- Laura Butler Vision Graphics & Sign 4479 Welch Rd Attica, Mi 48412 Posts: 2855 | From: Attica, Mi, USA | Registered: Nov 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
All those calculations are based on the fact that we humans experience time as something that moves forward at a constant rate and we have no ability to alter it's forward march. We've been brainwashed throughout the centuries, we simply do not understand that the world can exist without time. A whole lot of things can happen between each tick of the clock, just consider all the things that are happening in a single instance at any given moment throughout our little world, then expand that horizon and consider the universe. Cosider this: there are times when we perceive time as just flying by, as when we are having a great time. Consider then your perception of time when you are listening to a relative re-tell a story you've heard just once to many times. Or when you couldn't sleep at night and all you could do is listen to your partner sleep. Also consider the fact that your dreams that seem to go on forever may in fact have occured only during a second or two during you etire nights sleep. Try a little experiment tonight. Close your eyes and imagine time, count the seconds until you fall asleep, then keep counting. In the morning when you wake up ask yourself how far you got. Your dreams know no time boundaries, therefor anything is possible, you just need to dream it.
ps a flaming raindeer doing mach 10 would look pretty cool screaming through the winter night sky....lol
-------------------- "Are we having fun yet?" Peter Schuttinga DZines Sign Studio 1617 Millstream rd Victoria BC V9B-6G4 Posts: 521 | From: Victoria BC | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged |
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Rolling On The Floor]](graemlins/rolf.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic