posted
Three old guys out walking. First one says. "Windy isn't it? " Second one says, "No its Thursday"!! Third one says. "So am I. Lets go get a beer."
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A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."
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Morris, an 82 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'" The Doctor replied, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful."
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An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms -- Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names." The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said, "I forgot her name about 10 years ago."
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A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No," he replied, "arthritis."
Happy Friday!
-------------------- Jane Diaz Diaz Sign Art 628 W. Lincoln Ave. Pontiac, Il. 61764 815-844-7024 www.diazsignart.com Posts: 4102 | From: Pontiac, IL USA | Registered: Feb 1999
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posted
Old guy goes into an upscale lounge. He's dressed to the nines, clean shaved, spit-shined and smelling of good cologne. He spots an attractive elderly lady at the bar, and sidles up to her. "Do I come here often?" he asks. Posts: 8834 | From: Butler, PA, USA | Registered: Jan 2001
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posted
At a senior citizens social dance, a little old man saunters up to a single old woman standing alone by the punch bowl. He causually leans into her closely and whispers, "Hey baby, how old do you think I am?"
She quickly bends down slightly, unzips his fly, sticks her hand inside, feels around for a few seconds and says, "I'd say you were 81."
Shocked and amazaed, and relatively pleased, the little old man exclaimed, "My god woman! How'd you do that?"
Quickly she responded, "You told me yesterday, Harold."
[ November 13, 2004, 10:01 AM: Message edited by: Doug Carter ]
-------------------- Corsa Graphics St. Charles, Illinois Posts: 2 | From: St. Charles, Illinois | Registered: Oct 2004
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-------------------- Judy Pate Signs By Judy Albany, Georgia USA 229-435-6824
Live simply...Love generously...Care deeply...Speak kindly...Leave the rest to God. Posts: 2629 | From: Albany,GA,USA | Registered: Nov 1998
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