An old couple are having a homemade dinner with their friend George. Upon finishing the meal, the two guys amble to the living room to talk "shop", and the wife starts clearing the table. In the course of their conversation, the Host tells George about this great dinner he and his wife enjoyed at this new Restaurant they tried. George asked "Whats the name of the place?" In attempting to remember, he said "What's the name of that red flower?" George answered "CARNATION?" "No, the other one! The one with thorns!" George answered, "Oh....ROSE!" The host turned his head toward the kitchen and shouted "HEY ROSE.......What's the name of that new Restaurant?!
(that's for YOU, Si)
Posted by Kathy Joiner (Member # 1814) on :
I resemble that remark.
Posted by Bruce Williams (Member # 691) on :
1st geezer: "I got lost coming home from the library yesterday."
2nd geezer: "I started out the door yesterday and forgot why."
3rd geezer: "Well, I ain't loosin' it like you guys, knock on wood (raps on table). . .Come in."
Posted by Bill Diaz (Member # 2549) on :
A New York City cop on a horse was riding thru Central Park when he came upon a geezer sittin' on a park bench who was cryin' his brains out. The cop said, "What's the matter, little old man?" The little old man said, "I'm married to a beautiful 26 year old woman whose a model. She supports me financially, cooks for me and satisfies my every need!(sob sob sob)"
"Well if that so little old man, why are you crying?"
The old geezer, now sobbing uncontrolably, said "um-um-ftz-sob-sob, I I I can't remember where I live!"
Posted by Jon Butterworth (Member # 227) on :
"Old Geezers" here are often refered to as members of the "CRAFT" Club ... "Cant Remember A F**king Thing"
I seem to remember the Motto on our OZ Letterhead Logo is "Keepers of the Craft"
A couple other indications you are an "Old Geezer"
Mind still like a steel trap, but the body is rusting up quick!
When you wake up to pain in the mornings, you feel good to be still alive.
Posted by Si Allen (Member # 420) on :
The Nursing Home
Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loves to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed down the longcorridors. Because she and her fellow residents are one sandwich short of a picnic, they all tolerate each other, some of the males actually join in. One day, Ethel was speeding along one corridor when adoor opened and Mad Mike stepped out of his room with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he said in a firm voice. "Have you got a license to drive that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag, pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near t he TV lounge on one wheel, Weird William popped out in front of her and shouted, "STOP!" Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a beer coaster and held it up to him William nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am". As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Bonkers Bob stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizeable erection in his hand. "Oh, no!" said Ethel, "Not the breathalyser again!"
Posted by Jane Diaz (Member # 595) on :
SI!! I'm APPALLED!!! Tell me another one!
Posted by Bob Burns (Member # 268) on :
A HUSBAND AND WIFE SITTING IN THEIR OWN ROCKING CHAIRS ON THE FRONT PORCH CELEBRATING THEIR 50TH ANNIVERSARY. THE OLD LADY REACHES OVER AND LANDS A HAYMAKER ON THE OLD BOYS CHIN KNOCKING HIM TO THE FLOOR. "WHAT'S that FOR?" HE CRIED WITH DISMAY. "THAT'S FOR 5O YEARS OF LOUSY SEX!"
He gets back in his rocker......some minutes go by, and the old man reaches over and clobbers the old lady! "What's THAT for?" she shouted. The old boy said "That's fer knowin the difference!!!!!"
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