This is topic GUIDE TO LIFE(HU-MA) in forum Old Archives at The Letterville BullBoard.


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Posted by old paint (Member # 549) on :
 
CYNIC'S GUIDE TO LIFE


1. Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're naked during a fire drill.

2. Always take time to stop and smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.

3. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.

4. If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them.

5. If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.

6. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

7. It's always darkest before the dawn. So if y ou're going to steal the neighbors's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

8. A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails across it until he hangs up.

9. Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down.

10. Just remember: You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the neighbors's car.

11. It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.

12. Keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel. It's a lot cheaper than plastic surgery.

13. This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land.

14. Love is like a rol! ler coaster: When it's good you don't want to get off and when it isn' t, you can't wait to throw up
 
Posted by David Wright (Member # 111) on :
 
Words to live by.
We all need to be reminded of the important messages in life.
 
Posted by Bruce Bowers (Member # 892) on :
 
Yeah, but I bet the blame for all of life's woes lie with George W. Bush and Oracal vinyl... I just know it does. [Wink]
 
Posted by old paint (Member # 549) on :
 
nooooo..geo sr. shouldnt have had kids......but if you like oracal 651...more power to ya....i dont like chevy's, pepsi or coke, any meat, beer, tobacco, turnips, beets or radish. now that makes me a weirdo right?
 
Posted by Raymond Chapman (Member # 361) on :
 
Yep.
 


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