I was working at the old shop one fine day when I heard a commotion in the alley. Venturing forth I saw 6 or 7 thugs lurking around, seeming to search for something or somebody. Some of them had guns drawn. One particularly sleazy looking one wearing Arthur Godfrey’s favorite shirt drove down the alley in a beat up old Pinto and he had a revolver in his left hand hanging out the window. Where I grew up and where I lived and worked at the time this stuff is a common enough sight to not panic or be involved in unless it’s ME they’re after, as sometimes happens, and I just go on about my own business. I sure wanted none of whatever these guys were dealing.
The old shop had sprung up out of two corner garages that came to be connected over 40 years of hap-hazard operation, by using cardboard, drywall sheets, sticks, old billboard panels and old metal signs for walls and roofing. Like Topsy - it just GREW! It became a miniature version of the Winchester Mystery House, media: Trash. There were rooms, and nooks and crannies, secret hidey holes, doors, trap doors, windows and whole walls that hinged this way and that, to form a miracle maze of partitions. There were attic spaces and basements with steps leading half way down. Doors that could be locked on rooms that were open on one side to the whole world. Most of the floor was gravel, as it had been the parking lot earlier, and been closed in as more trash heaped up around it.
Lenny The Brave (Well, I believe Leonard means “Lion Hearted”) went out to ask the nature of the invasion. Then he went back into the labyrinth to continue whatever evil he was involved in previously. Lenny stuttered all the time but when he got excited he went incommunicado. All of a sudden there was a great galloping among the gravel, doors were slamming, people were shouting, and several of them ran past me in various directions. Hurray! A Marx Brothers Movie!! Lenny, Himself ran out the door waving his arms and screaming “Dt-dt-dt-dt-dt-dt-dt-dt!!” Outside more yelling, tires screeching, more and more armed thugs arrived in the alley all charging westward, pell mell. It was a wonder to behold.
Lenny had surprised “The Perp” hiding behind one of the door-walls and that started the merry chase. It ended down the alley about 100 feet or so in a yard full of plum trees, but the yelling and screaming and Lenny’s staccato “D-d-d-d-dd-d-d-dt!” continued for many minutes. Until I couldn’t stand it anymore and had to go look. The volume had not diminished. What were they doing now, chasing the guy around a plum tree? No way, they had this little skinny guy on the ground treating him as the LAPD would say “like a King”. They be puttin’ the Rodney on the boy, big time. 5 or 6 of them were pistol whipping and kicking him into the dirt and all of them, including My Hero, were screeching some incoherent gibberish at him. When two of them saw me watching and started in my direction I took the hint. I had a sign to paint that just became a “rush” job.
They finally took the guy away somewhere, walking, and they found a baggie of questionable content under a parked car. There was no police involvement. Lenny would tell the story many times as “The Time I Caught A Jewel Thief and Turned Him Over to the Police”, and the damn fool would drag ME into it, “Go ahead,” he’d say, “you tell ‘em what happened”. So there you have it.
Posted by Arvil Shep' Shepherd (Member # 2030) on :
Mike, Did you by any chance ever write any of the "Mayberry" episodes ??????? he he he he
We had a "Lenny at our old Shop......but his name was Charlie....... Charlie was a "Wino" that was born 100 years late..he loved to hunt ,trap and basicly live in the wild......was a damn good Sign Painter .when he was sober....(Which was seldom).......
"Does anyone want to hear the rest of this story?????????"
Shep'
Posted by cheryl nordby (Member # 1100) on :
too funny Mikey......just too funny!!!
smile grin snort chuckle Posted by Mike Languein (Member # 319) on :
Yeah, Shep, I do . . . I feel like I'm all alone in this. I know there are lots more stories out there besides mine. Come on, now, don't just tease us like that.
Posted by Arvil Shep' Shepherd (Member # 2030) on :
Well OK Mike.........But Keep in mind I am not a writer of your caliber...
Being the outdoorsman that Charlie was....for his two week vacation.....he decided that he would take on a little hunting trip up in the Smoky Mountains...(This was Charlies home country where he was born and half raised) Keep in mind that the "Smokies" is a National Park...and you can only camp there with a written permission......NO GUNS ALLOWED.....And especially no hunting of ANY KIND....
Charlie had been in the wilds for about two weeks when he ran out of Booze, and decided he would venture out to replenish his supply.......Charlie came upon a motorist who's car had broke down beside of the road......Being the good Samaritan that he was, he decided to see if he could be of some assistance..........he approached the motorist.........(Also keep in mind that Charlie had been in the wilds for about two weeks without a bath or clean clothes or a shave..(Charlie had an aversion about taking a bath on a regular basics to start with) ...He was wearing real Buckskin clothing, carying a Long Rifle,a hunting knife on his side and a Pistol tucked in his belt...A real Coonskin Cap on his scraggly looking head.......
To say the motorist was a little taken aback was an understatement.......especially since the motorist had just heard over the news that a couple of escaped convicts were on the loose in that area and were "armed and dangerous"......
Meanwhile a State Trooper that had stoped to assist the stranded motorist was on his way back with a gallon of gas to get the poor guy going.....
Charlie says, to the motorist.. "I will FIRE OFF a couple of Distress Shots"..."That will summon some help for you"......
Meanwhile the Trooper heard the sound of a 30 30 Rifle being fired just around the curve he was approaching.......assuming it was the escaped prisoners..he Radioed for backup........
About twenty State Troopers and Park Rangers arrived and proceeded to pounce on poor Charlie.......
As they were carting him off to the local jail.....he was heard to be mumbling something to the effect of........."These sombiches don't know what a DISTRESS SIGNAL IS "......
They confiscated all of his weapons....and old car he had..(49 Chevy)and fined him $600.
This was around 1964......$600 was a lot of money at that time.......
True story..
Shep'
Posted by Mike Languein (Member # 319) on :
Ha ha ha , that's what I mean! You got it, Shep, mentioning my (small) calibre in a gun story. "Lenny the Survivor" coming up soon . . .
Posted by J.G. Kurtzman (Member # 1736) on :
Hey Mike...... sounds like a "Dragnet" re-run from the 1950's, of course back then "Joe Friday" was a black and white celeb. on our old "Emerson" TV. For a long time I thought "Kazoo Corners" had the monoply on the strange and unusual but this one could be the topper. Now ya gotta tell us... were these little people, or real people????? I know you "One Potatoe"- "Two Potatoe" folk have a genetic compulson to spin yarns, and this one sounds like "General Guiness" may have been coaching you but did you get their plate number? If so, give it to George Bush, he may be able to use that involved mentality to rid the problem in the middle east.
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