My little buddy Astro has been going downhill for the past few months. He is a 14 year old cocker spaniel. We got him when my kids were very small, so you can imagine he is an important part of our family. I am having a very hard time with this letter, so excuse me in advance for any boo boos. He doesn't do much except sleep. I know he is old. I make him his favorite food and warm it up. Corned beef hash and eggs, when he is hungry. But that isn't very often anymore. When he does get up, I know he has to go outside, so I carry him out. He usually just sits there for awhile not sure what he is out there for. I am pretty sure he has alzheimers. (sp) I know the answer is in my own heart. I guess I just need to know when. His little stub tail still wags. Do I just pray for the easiest way and hope he goes to sleep on his own. I know he is not in any pain or my decision would be much easier. I have asked the vet, and he said it is up to me. Michael Boone, I know we talked about this a few months ago. You were right. It is not easy at all.
Sorry to post a downer post.
Posted by Bob Stephens (Member # 858) on :
Cheryl I know your pain. I've been there before. Do whats best for Astro. Not whats best for you.
If he's not suffering and you don't mind taking care of him then let nature take its course. But when the time does come you will know it so until then try to remember all the great times over the years.
I still miss Max and will never have another dog after losing him. He was "the one" of all the dogs I had in life.
I hope you feel better and that someone here can offer words that will make this easier for you.
Posted by CJ Allan (Member # 52) on :
You answered your own question Kiddo........
He's "Family".........!!
As long as there's no real pain or suffering, ......
.......cj
Posted by Mike Lavallee (Member # 320) on :
Hi Cheryl,
I can't imagine what you must be going through. My dog coco is getting older too but fortunately she still is active just getting chubby I dred the day that decision will have to come up. I feel for you. I feel that if your dog is not in pain and still eats when it wants to, then let him be. if it get to the point where he can't get around or cant control its bodily functions then I would consider doing what has to be done for the dignity of the dog. its going to be a tough decision any way you go. I have a friend that just lost his two dashounds that he had for 12 years, he is a former marine who served in vietnam and it was pretty tough for him, but now he's got a new dashound puppy named Nickie, what a funny little dog she is! I'm not saying you should replace your dog with another just that know it will be hard when the time comes but try and remember how much fun you had with him and remember how much fun he was when he was new to your family.
I would return the love that the dog gave to you and do what is in the dogs best interest.
Mike
Posted by Peter Schuttinga (Member # 2821) on :
I've had the displeasure of being in your shoes on two seperate occasions, both times equaly difficult. But in both cases the decision had to be made, and I do not regret having made them. Our second dog had cancer and we knew her time was limited. Med's helped for a while, but one morning she refused to get up, she had had enough. We called the vet who made a house call, and uthenized her while we held and comforted her. It was a peacefull passing, with lots of hugs and tears. We found a special spot on our property to bury her, so we can always visit her. Your pet will make the decision for you, and if you are willing to help it out until then you'll do fine. I wish our dog lived as long as yours, she passed at the age of 6, much to soon. Take care.
Posted by KARYN BUSH (Member # 1948) on :
i know exactly what you are going through and my heart goes out to you! those wonderful furry creatures can break your heart more than any human can! i do find comfort in knowing that we as humans can treat our animals more humanely by putting them to sleep when they are in pain and at the end of their comfortable life. stay strong and know you are not alone...i'm going through the same thing and it's extremely heartbreaking...but the special memories remain with us forever!
Posted by Bill Biggs (Member # 18) on :
Cheryl, My Dog Gator was a black lab-collie mix. He was part of the family and helped raise my kids, and keep them safe. When he was 14 he got down in his hind legs and mostly just slept on the couch in the sun. We finally took him to the vet and had him put down. It was not easy, but when we got to the vet, he actually, for the first time, willingly went in. In years past visits to the vet had to be orchestrated just right, to get him in the door. I think he was ready. We brought him home and buried him in the back yard. Sometimes I still feel him jump up on the foot of the bed where he slept for most of his life. It's sad that animals were given such a short life span, compared to ours. We should appreciate their time with us and enjoy it as they do. Bill
[ February 15, 2003, 12:36 PM: Message edited by: Bill Biggs ]
Posted by Mike Pipes (Member # 1573) on :
Cheryl,
No pain? no suffering? no question! If he's not hurting I don't see why you should put him down.
I'm faced with that same question at least once every year with my dog Rizzo, but the main difference is my dog is only 7 years old and has several potentially happy years left. The times she's feeling good (which is most of the time) you can tell it because she's her normal hyperactive, over protective, neurotic and annoying self. (Which is why I like her, quirky li'l pooch!) She just has these nasty "remissions" every once in a while that get pretty scary.
She's already had several hospital stays, a blood transfusion, autoimmune disease (similar to cancer, white blood cells destroy the reds), pancreasitis and she's always been vulnerable to parasites.. she pulls through every time, and even amazes the vet cause there have been times that she should have been long gone.. blood levels so far off the scale, beyond the abilities of the testing labs to even measure it.
Posted by TransLab (Member # 470) on :
That's indeed a tough call Cheryl.
You're the one who has to decide whether Astro is suffering. A brave wag doesn't mean he isn't in pain.. You'll have to do what's best for him.. If he is in pain putting it off won't make it easier, for hin, nor for you..
..take care..
Posted by Kathy Joiner (Member # 1814) on :
Cheryl, what is Astro's quality of life right now? Is he heartbroken because he can't follow you around or run and play? It is difficult to let go of anyone we love, but it is the most loving thing we can do. You asked for advice dear so here goes. Give him his dignity. You have given him a wonderful life and the greatest gift-LOVE.
Chin up! You are a tough gal and will make it through.
Posted by Chris Elliott (Member # 1262) on :
Hi Cheryl, I'm sorry to hear about Astro. I grew up with a black cocker spaniel named Mike. He came into my life as a puppy when I was about 3 years old and died at the age of 15 when I was about 18. He was a great dog who only bit one person in his life (happened to be the new preacher at our church who stopped by for an introductory visit & I still think that dog had good insticts because that preacher didn't work out at all). At the time he died we were wrestling with the same decision you're facing now. We decided to let nature take it's course as long as he wasn't in pain.
On the other hand, my all-time favorite old roping horse and partner, Tony Dixon, reached the point of old age when he couldn't eat any more, had lost a lot of weight, and the problem of pain was starting to become a factor so my ex-wife made the decision for me to put him down (I was gone on the road at the time). She was broken-hearted when she told me about what happened but as I explained to her, if I'd have been there I would have made the same choice.
So, while I don't have an easy answer for you, I think you'll know the right thing to do when the time comes. Until then, keep giving Astro the love and comfort that you've provided and if pain or loss of function becomes a factor, then let him leave knowing that you've done all that you could. God bless you, your family, and Astro during an extremely difficult time.
Posted by cheryl nordby (Member # 1100) on :
Thanks everybody for your advice and kind words.
Astro can't hear or see anymore. So it is hard for me to know what's going inside. He used to look at me and I knew exactly what he wanted. Sometimes all he wanted was to 'help' me by putting his paw on my arm as I was lettering. Or he would sit on my feet to make sure he knew if I got up and left. When he first started going blind....he would wander all about until he found me. So I started to pat him before I would leave so he wouldn't worry.
Now all the life seems to have left him. His eyes are white, and he has no expression. He was always so full of love. Now I feel he has given up. I will let him sleep unless I know he is hurting.
thanks again. Here is my little buddy a couple years ago.
Working at the SPCA, this is an issue that I see families deal with virtually every single day - including today. It is also a decision I have dealt with personally.
Making the decision that results in the loss of a companion is extremely difficult. Personally, I believe a person should look at the quality of life for the pet above their own fear of loss. Too many times I have seen pets brought in for euthanasia long after when it should have been done.
It's too easy for people to assure themselves that the pet isn't in enough discomfort yet, but if you could only see the sad, pathetic physical shape some of the animals are in that are brought to our shelter - and one look into their eyes - you would understand beyond words.
If you need to talk with me more in depth, please email me and let me know. I can't make the decision for you, but I can be here to listen and to give you any information about procedures, etc that you may need.
No one knows your pet better than you. You do what you need to do when it's timely for your pet and you. I'm sorry and I'm here if you need me.
Posted by Glenn Taylor (Member # 162) on :
I know how you're feeling Cheryl.
Last year, I'm the one who had to take 3 of my mom's pomeranians to the vet to be put to sleep. I held them as the vet gave them the shot. Its a hard thing to have to deal with. They are family afterall.
Now our shop dog, Butch, is starting to show his age. He has a heart murmur and arthritis in his hip. He eats little and sleeps a lot. Every morning when I go to feed him, I expect to find him passed away during the night. Sometimes I find myself hoping he has. Its hard to see him struggling to get up. Some days, he doesn't have the strength to get up and ends up fouling his bed. Other days, he acts as spry as a puppy wanting me to chase him.
Posted by Doug Allan (Member # 2247) on :
I know I'm going off on a bit of a tangent here, but I saw a documentary on assisted suicide the other day. I think it was Sweeden that people can legally do this, & business's are there now to offer the "assisting"
They interviewed a man who was ready to get his last "meds" after declining health due to Parkinson's caused him to make that decision.
My Dad died of Parkinson's last year. The disease took its toll on his health in many ways over 6 years. In the last year he could not do much by himself. My mom had to work very very hard to care for him. He was present though, & we all had time to get used to the reality of the fact that the disease was going to take him from us. He could feel the love that was being given to him & though his speach was affected, & his mind to a lesser degree, he was still there for us as well.
I don't really have a completely formulated opinion on the assisted suicide issue for people, but I did think that my dads death was very dignified & though there was suffering, he was brave & gracious throughout. I could not imagine, in his case, having followed any other course of action.
I don't think my Mom could have continued much longer working as hard as she was, but none of us would have thought she could have done as much as she did, & loved the opportunity to spend that time, show him that devotion, & return some of the support she felt from him in so many ways, for so many years.
I guess the concept of "putting down" an animal when serious suffering is a factor, is much less of a moral question then the assisted suicide question, but now, after 7 years experience with my wife's dogs who were 2 yrs old when we met, I know how a pet is a member of the family & would support the decision to let life & nature run its course based on the absense of extremely clear suffering. I think the "will to live" is a huge part of the process of dieing, & Astro seems content to hang in there with you regardless of the physical suffering that may make up part of his/her day. You too, seem content to endure the emotional suffering & burden of care giving, so make the most of your time together. Good luck with any future decision making trauma.
Posted by Rick Sacks (Member # 379) on :
We've also been there. When Pansy lost bladder control and was ****ing all over herself is when I want into the yard and dug a hole where I wanted an apple tree. The dirt was damp from tears. The neighborhood vet came by and gave her an injection while she ws in the arm of the family. No pain, no discomfort. We have lovedd pets under every fruit tree here.
Cheryl, are you bound to home when you want to go someplace because of this situation? It won't get any better. The decision will never be easy. Sometimes we need to blend the path of heart with the path of mind. I trust you'll do what you believe in the best interest of your family and find peace in that.
Posted by Cam Bortz (Member # 55) on :
Cheryl, I'm in tears writing this, because on Jan. 18 I had to make this decision for my own best friend. She was almost 14, and had come to work with me all her life. Cataracts had taken most of her sight, she could not hear much of anything, and arthritis had taken her ability to walk or even stand without falling. Shiner was such a natural athlete all her life, and it was so hard to see her unable to even climb three stairs to the door, or not be able to run ever again.
I kept putting it off, but she just wasn't going to ever get better. So on her last day I took her for one final slow, painful walk - she lived to go for walks, despite the pain. Then I gave her her favorite snack - cheese! and at last helped her into the car for one last ride. At the vet, she died quickly and quietly in my arms.
I miss her so much.
Dogs give us so much unconditional love, and this is the price we have to pay for it, knowing we will see them become aged, weaken, and perish. It's so hard, yet it can be harder to know they are suffering and cannot tell you.
Ultimately, only you will know when the time has come to let Astro go.
Posted by cheryl nordby (Member # 1100) on :
Well now you got my tears going again Cam. I cried most of the morning on my sign install too. Astro hasn't gotten up for 2 days. Hasn't eaten for over 3. I tried waking him a few minutes ago, but he just opened one eye and went back to sleep. I was going to give him a bubble bath one more time, something that he just adores. But I think he would rather just sleep. And that is what I will let him do. He has the squishiest comforter in the house and he knows he is loved dearly.
Posted by Steve Nuttle (Member # 2645) on :
Cheryl, tears are streaming down my face as I try to type this. Hard to beleive for an old cowboy but it's true. I like my fellow humans, but put way more stock in animals than people. Animals are honest and true and will never screw you. Domestic pets especially fall into this group as they willingly commit themselves to us. I have been where you are many times. I have had to put down horses that have carried me and worked with me and loved me and gave their life and trust to me. I have had to put down dogs and cats that slept with me and ate my food and shared my house and life. And never in any case has it been easy for me. In the end I beleive it was easier for my "friends" than me because I wanted to hold on and not let go.
I am not an overly religious person but I do beleive in God and I really think that he gave us animals to be friends and companions and that he has a very special place resevered for them. Knowing that our pets and friends have a glorious place waiting for them how can we stand in the way when their health and quality of life has failed. They have given all they have to us all their lives and have no control over the end. They have trusted us to feed and care for them and love them so why not trust us to "help" them on when the time comes. When is that time? I think you know. It's never easy but it the greatest gift we can give our friends and loved ones next to the love and care we have already given. Good luck to you and Astro and search your heart and don't stand in the way of his eternal reward for selfess reasons. I wish I could be with you and your family to give you all hugs and cry with you. There is nothing easy about this other than not having pets at all. But then we rob ourselves of great friends and companions. Please keep us posted.
I have never ended a post like this but here goes.
Love and prayers,
Steve
Posted by Darrell Giese (Member # 768) on :
Put 'Belle down in October. She was a 14.5 year old Lab. A constant companion, through years of freelance and self employment. Sometimes she was the only one I would talk to all day. She was my 'printin' dog' because 'her' place was under the press whenever I was printing t-shirts.
Anyway, she quit eatin' and the Vet said it was time. (cancer) Just couldn't bring ourselves to do it. I took time out and spent the last few weeks at home as much as possible. We tricked her into eatin', gave her pain killers, pretty muchly fought like hell to keep her. I read something about bein' able to put a pet down was far better than havin' to just wait with a loved one to the End. It finally hit me that I was keepin' her for me and it was time to let her go. I won't quote the whole thing, but I wrote this afterward. [The vet had just put her down and I]"...picked her up and I was instantly hit that she was so limp. I had not realised how stiff she had been when I carried her the last few weeks. How much pain she endured while I worked up the nerve to do the right thing, I'll never know. She was totally limp and at peace now. I'm glad I didn't wait any longer"
Ther is a bill that comes due for a lifetime of love and devotion, 'bout the only thing we can do for our friends in their last days is to see them off and not force them to linger. They will do it without complaint, but we owe them a better sendoff.
Annabelle Lee Posted by FranCisco Vargas (Member # 145) on :
Really sorry to hear about your little buddy Astro, I remember him, pretty sharp dog. I smiled when your daughter would do hand signals and he would obey. Or when I was was making something to eat he would come by sit down smile at me and give me that look like "hey you have a extra little piece for me?" I'm not sure if you remember the story when I had to make that decision to put my dog Chuco under. Man it was hard, I even got drunk with him the night before, tears rolled down my eyes as I spoke and petted him. But I was the only one who had to make that decision. I wish you the best in what ever decision you make for Astro.
Posted by cheryl nordby (Member # 1100) on :
I just want to say that Astro popped his little head up tonight briefly and I decided to give him his bubble bath. I know it was his last. He is down to skin and bones. But I do know that it felt good for him surrounded by bubbles and warm water. I feel like I cannot let him go on any longer. I actually feel very selfish for letting him go on as I have. He is not happy and doesn't breathe right.
thank you for your hlep and kind words.
Posted by Dana Bowers (Member # 780) on :
Here is a site with quite a bit of information: Time to Let Go
Here is something that we hand out to the people that need it... grab the kleenex first...
RAINBOW BRIDGE
Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill or old are restored to health and vigour; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when your and your special friend finally meet, you cling to each other in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.
Posted by Jim Pooler (Member # 3471) on :
Cheryl, I know I can't say anything that will make your decision any easier. I love animals too.
I will say a prayer that you will have peace and comfort in your heart when you make the decision.
Jim
Posted by Rick Sacks (Member # 379) on :
This is bringing back memories of one of those old songs that brings tears to me every time. Remember Rambling Jack Elliot doing Old Shep?
There was a message from Pierre's daughter around Christmas that spoke to me on this subjest also, so if I may, I'll present it again here.....a bit edited though.....
I remember Dad talking about our old Firebox that sits in the living room and heats this entire big, old house. This year it's a bit more lonesome. The Firebox's most faithful friend, our old Great Dane, Motley, passed away this past summer. The tree is up and the brightly ribboned and wrapped packages are beginning to pile up under the branches and lights again. One leaves, another one comes into the family. It's kinda sad and a bit frightening. I suppose I'm growing up. As for Motley, he'll still be warm by his beloved old Firebox. You see, Dad had him cremated and his ashes are on a little shelf...........right next to the Firebox. He didn't go far, did he. I hate growing up.
[ February 16, 2003, 09:14 AM: Message edited by: Rick Sacks ]
Posted by cheryl nordby (Member # 1100) on :
thanks everybody. My Dad was right when he said putting our little Gidget to sleep was the hardest thing he had ever done. When I gave Astro his bath last night is when I just knew what I had to do. Within a week he has gotten so old and thin.....it just scared me and made me feel so sad for him. I know in my heart we both knew it was his last bubble bath. He has been my side kick since my kids were babies. Never once did he get jealous. Never once did he hurt them. He let them ride his back, hug him too hard, and tug his ears once too many times. But he loved us with all his heart. My Dad (now gone) just loved Astro. They were buddies. Astro helped me thru when my Dad died. He went for walks with me.....and came to my shop with me. He was always with me at night to protect me when I worked late. Monday is when I will go with Astro. I know I will be there for him. Holding him. Like he was for us. And forever holding a special spot in my heart, just for Astro.
Posted by Glenn Taylor (Member # 162) on :
Cheryl,
How about some pics of Astro? Posted by Janette Balogh (Member # 192) on :
Very difficult time, my heart goes out to you Cheryl.
It is difficult to see an animal's body fail him, and particularily difficult when the spirit is still alive within them, and they just can't understand why their bodies can't keep up. That's what's going on with Kaiser (my dalmation) right now.
For me, I know it's not yet time, as his appetite is just as voracious as ever, and he is relentless in his energy to get up and follow me everywhere as he always has. Though now, I must occasionally help him up when he falls.
When I put Konig, my black lab-mix down several years ago, he was 16 and a half. Quite old for such a big dog, but he still had a dull gleam left in his eyes, though dimming. If he could he would still go after a frisbee, or a tennis ball, if only his body would let him. With Konig it became a quality of life issue, and a matter of his integrity. He was one who avoided "doo-doo" at all costs, ... even his own stuff. He wouldn't even think of doing it in his own yard, and I would have to take him in the alley for that sort of business. If his tennis ball fell anywhere near any kind of "doo-doo" you better believe I was the one going "fetching".
Now he was waking up in his own, and messing himself up by his scuffle to get away from it. But he just wasn't able to get up. A very painful decision was finally made.
I did not want Konig to leave the world in the sterile atmosphere of the vet's office, a place that always made him uncomfortable. My vet came here, and on his favourite blanket, laying with us outside on my patio, he took a last, very peaceful breath in my arms.
It was abit ironic, because as I was laying with him waiting for the vet, and crying, he was licking my tears. I wondered if he knew why I was crying, and I somehow got relief in knowing that in his final moments he may be feeling needed one last time by comforting me in my grief.
I sobbed like a baby ... but knew the right thing was done right by him. I will try to do the same for Kaiser, when the time comes.
Cheryl, I imagine that when you look at Astro you think of all the places the two of you have seen together, and the times you've shared. How many times these furry friends help us thru difficult situations in our lives, and how they add so much to the day to day. Those are the thoughts that cross my mind when I look at Kaiser right now.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, as I know you'll be hurting the kind of hurt that runs very deep. You'll be in the thoughts of many here, and we'll all be feeling a part of your pain.
Take care girl, Nettie
Posted by Bob Burns (Member # 268) on :
"GO GIRL"!
Posted by cheryl nordby (Member # 1100) on :
Cheryl, my thoughts are with you, I'm at the shop, doing a little job, I m going home, to hug my Labrador "Midnight", I swear, the most gentle dog on the face of the earth.
Posted by Glenn Taylor (Member # 162) on :
Aw man, he's a cutie, Cheryl. I love the expression on his face. Which breed is he?
Posted by cheryl nordby (Member # 1100) on :
Cocker spaniel. The biggest, proudest, most gentle beautiful cocker spaniel. His feet are huge. Sometimes he would trip over them himself, and you would see his big roll of fluff tumbling on the grass. His big feet had to balance out his big heart. I like quiet dogs. And Astro has always been the most content little guy in the world. Only to make noise if someone is at the door at a time they should not be.
Nettie your story reminds me of last night. I was hugging Astro and making him warm, and he looked up at me with a gentle look and nudged me as if to say it will be alright.
I hope I can be strong for him. But I have a hunch it will be alright with him if I'm not. He will go....loved to the max.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
I dred the day that decision will have to come up. I feel for you. I feel that if your dog is not in pain and still eats when it wants to, then let him be. if it get to the point where he can't get around or cant control its bodily functions then I would consider doing what has to be done for the dignity of the dog.