Have any of you ever received a phone call something like this?
"Hello there. You did a sign for me back somewhere around the Spring of '89 for our towing business....remember?"
Answer: " No, I can't honestly say that I can recall that sign. Can you refresh my memory a bit? We've done a few thousand others since then, so after that many, you tend to forget some."
"Well, surely you must remember mine. It was a blue background with yellow letters, and a dark shade."
"Sorry sir, but I still can't recall that particular job. What did your sign say?"
"It said Bert's Towing & Repairs, and I wanted to get a duplicate made to hang up in my garage, since I'm now retired."
For the life of me, I just can't remember ever doing any sign that matched this guy's description, so I ask him " Was this when we were located on Centre Street?"
"Nope" he says. You were out here in the east end just off of Quebec Street"
Right then, I realized that he was talking about a competitor who had long-since passed away, So I told him that I thought he had me confused with someone else.
"OK, he says, can you still make me a duplicate of that sign? Back then I only paid the guy $45.00 for it, so I expect the price will be close to that".
"Well, I can try to make a "similar" type of sign, but it won't be exactly the same, and prices have gone up quite a bit too, since way back then. I'll also need some sort of picture as a reference to go by" I tell him.
" I don't have a picture" he says, "and I don't understand why you can't remember a simple job like this one. I'm 87 years old, and I can remember it perfectly".
" Sorry sir, I tell him " the reason I can't remember that sign, is because I didn't do it, and I honestly can't even recall seeing it".
"Well, OK then, can you give me the number of that guy that you think did it?"
I patiently explain to him that Bill passed away a few years ago, and that number simply isn't available.
Suddenly, he change tack and says "Well, I still think YOU"RE the guy who did it, but won't admit it because of your bad memory".
He then hangs up.
Im left somewhat depressed, knowing that I'm also getting up there in years. I just hope that I don't go around bugging too many busy folks when I arrive at that state.
Posted by Si Allen (Member # 420) on :
Arrrrgggghhhhh! Boy does that hit close to home!
Been there, done that!
Posted by Steve Shortreed (Member # 436) on :
Great story Ken! Now tell us about the time you had the flat just outside the fence at the London Psychiatric Hospital. Didn't you have a memorable encounter with a patient?
Posted by Dave Grundy (Member # 103) on :
Yeah Ken!!!!..The Psych Hospital story is a classic!!!!!
Posted by Si Allen (Member # 420) on :
A 90 year old man goes to the local House of Ill Repute, looking for a good time. The Madame says "You old coot...you've had it!" Old guys says "Oh! Well then, how much do I owe you?"
Posted by Rick Sacks (Member # 379) on :
An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for VIAGRA.
The pharmacist asked "How many?"
The man replied, "Just a few, maybe a half dozen. I cut each one into four pieces."
The pharmacist said, "That's too small a dose. That won't get you through sex."
The old fellow said, "Oh, I'm past eighty years old and I don't even think about sex anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes...."
Posted by Joe Cieslowski (Member # 2429) on :
Young guy is walkin through the park and spots an old man sitting on a bench with his head in his hands crying...."Whats the matter old man" he asks? The old man says through his tears that he is married to a beautiful 23 year old woman. Puzzled, the young man asks "So whats wrong with that?"
"I can't remember where I live...." he replies.
Joe, Makin Chips and Havin Fun!
Posted by Ron Costa (Member # 3366) on :
The Old Man Story
An 80 year old man went to his doctor for his regular check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80 year old says, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considers the question for a moment. . .. and says, "I have a friend who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver sitting by the stream of water.
He raised his umbrella and yelled: "BANG BANG!!", and the beaver fell over dead.What do you think about that?"
The 80-year-old said, " I'd say someone else shot that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
Posted by Bob Burns (Member # 268) on :
This old geezer walks into a brothel and picks out o girl, and they go upstairs. the girl asks 'wadda you like?'......the geezer says' I like to do it on the window sill'......she says OK. As they climb onto the sill, they both slip and fall to the sidewalk below in a heap. An old drunk standing there looks at the situation and goes into the brothel, and says to the Madam...."Hey Lady, yer sign fell down!" Posted by Ken Henry (Member # 598) on :
An elderly minister with many years of faithful service is retiring. As a token of their appreciation, his congregation decides to give him a "farewell dinner" and present him and his wife with an all-expense paid trip to Hawaii. Following the dinner and presentation, his wife confides to him that she's always preferred to have sex in the "missionary position". He's somewhat taken aback by her revelation, and her timing, and asks her to explain. She tells him exactly what she means. Herself, flat on her back in bed, and him, somewhere off in Africa.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
The old man says through his tears that he is married to a beautiful 23 year old woman. Puzzled, the young man asks "So whats wrong with that?" ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)