Pilots and Ground Crews. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. P stands for the Problem the pilots entered in the log, and S stands for the Corrective Action taken by the mechanics.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for!
P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windscreen. S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Radar hums. S: Reprogrammed radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.
[ August 22, 2002, 03:53 PM: Message edited by: J & N Signs ]
Posted by Bruce Bowers (Member # 892) on :
Hey Fergie...
That is too funny! Especially since it is true. LOL! Thanks for sharing!
Have a great one!
Posted by Jerry Morrissey (Member # 203) on :
This reminds me of my college roommate that was in the AirForce in early 1980's as a navigator. The pilots were giving him grief about his choice of routes to Anchorage Alaska. So he told the pilot, look out the window, see that road (alaskan highway), that's the only road into town follow it.
Posted by VICTORGEORGIOU (Member # 474) on :
IFR - I fly roadways?
Posted by Linda Silver Eagle (Member # 274) on :
Fergie,
This is so darned funny I just about spewed my coffee everywhere!
Thank you sooo much, I was wore out from packin and you made my day! LOL!
![[Smile]](smile.gif)