> HEADSTONE HUMOR found on real headstones: > > Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: > Born 1903-Died 1942 > Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the > car was on the way down. > It was. > ****************************** > In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: > Here lies an Atheist > All dressed up > And no place to go. > ****************************** > On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East > Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: > Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. > The Good Die Young. > ****************************** > In a London, England cemetery: > Here lies Ann Mann, > Who lived an old maid > But died an old Mann. > Dec. 8, 1767 > ***************************** > In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: > Anna Wallace: > The children of Israel wanted bread, > And the Lord sent them manna. > Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, > And the Devil sent him Anna. > ****************************** > In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: > Here lies Johnny Yeast. > Pardon me > For not rising. > ****************************** > In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: > Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. > Stepped on the gas > Instead of the brake. > ****************************** > In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: > Here lays The Kid. > We planted him raw. > He was quick on the trigger > But slow on the draw. > ****************************** > A lawyer's epitaph in England: > Sir John Strange. > Here lies an honest lawyer, > And that is Strange. > ***************************** > John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, > England, cemetery: > Reader, if cash thou art > In want of any, > Dig 6 feet deep; > And thou wilt find a Penny. > ***************************** > In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: > On the 22nd of June, > Jonathan Fiddle > Went out of tune. > ***************************** > Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg > Falls,Vermont > Here lies the body of our Anna - > Done to death by a banana. > It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, > But the skin of the thing that made her go. > ****************************** > On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, > Massachusetts: > Under the sod and under the trees, > Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. > He is not here, there's only the pod. > Pease shelled out and went to God. > ***************************** > In a cemetery in England: > Remember man, as you walk by, > As you are now, so once was I. > Remember this and follow me. > > To which someone replied by writing on the > tombstone: > To follow you I'll not consent > Until I know which way you went > ****************************** > And last but not least, a friend of mine found this in Key West: > > I told you I was sick!
Posted by Bill Preston (Member # 1314) on :
Don't know about the rest of you, but these tidbits remind me of the old Burma-Shave signs.
Spring is sprung, The grass is riz, Where last years careless drivers is. Burma-Shave
Posted by Bernice Tornquist (Member # 16) on :
Jonathan Blake....had a real belly laugh at that one.....kinda' makes me think of this one...
"When I die I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming like the passengers in his car."
Posted by bill riedel (Member # 607) on :
