So, since there isn't much I can do to fight them...I thought I'd have a bit of fun with them!!
Give me your best responces (remember Sienfield's "give me your home number' routine?) and within legal limits....
So far all I've done is put them on hold and not come back......I gotta have a better one than that!
A:)
Posted by Bill Preston (Member # 1314) on :
Adrienne, doesn't Cal. have a "do not call" registry? It was started here in NY about a year ago, and sure has knocked down the numbers of these things. It takes a while for these folks to get the message, but it does work.
Posted by ScooterX (Member # 2023) on :
i tell them: "We have a strict policy to not buy anything solicited over the phone."
there is nothing in their "script" to deal with that, and eventually you get put on the list of "wont buy anything over the phone" and they stop calling. now the only calls we get are from the phone services and the local newspaper, and there is NOTHING you can do to stop those. i just hand up.
Posted by Stephen Deveau (Member # 1305) on :
Linda is very good at this! If its' a newpaper calling for you to subscribe to...
She politely says that she is Blind and asks when they are coming out with a Brail Paper?
But most ongoing calls she will answer Hello!
The caller will give their best opening speech.
She again says HELLO! And Again she say HELLO! Can you speak up! I am Deaf... Never to say anything but HELLO! They give up very quickly..and don't call back.
She is to good that this!
HELLO. HELLO. HELLO.
[ May 09, 2002, 02:55 PM: Message edited by: Stephen Deveau ]
Posted by AdrienneMorgan (Member # 1046) on :
She also told me she asks like she's hosting a call in talk show.....
HAHA, "Welcome to tranvestite confessions....caller, what is YOUR story?"
As for the no call lists, I'm tired of telling them.....
Posted by cheryl nordby (Member # 1100) on :
When they tell you who they are.....just say 'OH...thanks for calling.. but I am just on my way out....sorry gotta go..have a nice day!'
just don't give them a chance to waste yours or their time talking.
Posted by bronzeo (Member # 1408) on :
I've done a lot of things, but my best one is.... "please hold, I'll have to transfer you",, followed by the expected click (just hang up). From there they are in never, never land. Some have actually called back to tell me they got lost in the transfer. Most of them will wait the 15 seconds before the autobusy signal, and then probably feel dumber than hell.
Posted by Bob Burns (Member # 268) on :
I DON'T SAY A WORD...I JUST HANG UP!
Posted by Dave Johnson (Member # 2535) on :
I do one of two things. I set the phone down, walk away and come back in 10 minutes or so and hang it up. I say "Excuse me, could I please have your home phone number and the most inconvient time to call you?".
I'm thinking it might be fun to stop them short and give them a sales pitch for a sign.
Posted by Si Allen (Member # 420) on :
When i get a "May I speak to the person in charge of (toner, office supplies, telephone system, etc.)?" I simply and firmly say "NO!" long pause then I hear "Click"
...................OR......................
"You are with who?" and after making them repeat it a couple of times "I hate your *^$%$#@ commercials and won't buy any of your crap!" long pause and I hear "click"
....................OR......................
"I'm busy right now...could you give me yout home phone number...I promise that I'll call you back about 3 am!" short pause then "click"
......................OR......................
If I am in an evil mood...I let them go thru the whoul speil, and then question them in minute detail about every coceivable aspect of whatever they are selling... then ask how many they have in stock. the "I'll take the whole lot...what Credit Card number? ... thought you said it was free???...IF it isn't free why did you waste all my time!....I am going to report you, what is your name?" no pause before I hear "click"
The computer dialed recorded calls are no fun! Gotta figger a way to get even with them!!!!!
Posted by Mark Yearwood (Member # 2723) on :
My time is too valuable...I HANG UP. Most times my phone is forwarded to the cell because I'm out alot, so I hang up fast so it doesn't cost so much airtime.
Posted by Bill Preston (Member # 1314) on :
Some of you might get a giggle out of this. A lot of years ago, I was painting signs as a sideline-- my regular job was on the night shift at the local hospital. Slept mornings into the early afternoon. Couldn't convince a salesman at a local car dealer to call me after 1 or 2 in the afternoon. One day he called in the a.m. and my wife happened to be home. He said "have Bill call me when he's ready to talk about lettering a truck for us."
At 4 a.m. the next day, I called him from work and said "I'm ready to talk about that truck, now." Got called every name in the book, and a few that weren't, but never got called before 2 p.m. again.
We're still good friends in spite of all this-- he just had to find out how the shoe fit when it was on the other foot.
Posted by coop (Member # 504) on :
Tell whoever it is you charge $50 for a phone consultation, may I please have your Visa # and expiration. I get hung up on 100% of the time with that one.
Posted by david drane (Member # 507) on :
Whatever your sell'n I got some!! Posted by jimmy chatham (Member # 525) on :
i love caller id. let the answering machine answer if it is an unknown or out of area. if it comes in as a number and i answer and it is a sales person then i ask did they call to buy a sign. if they say no i ask if i had called them. then they say no and i say if i had wanted to buy their product that i would have called them. click
Posted by Tom Giampia (Member # 2007) on :
If you want to have some fun... go to foundrymusic.com (it is a little racy) look for the "soundboards" in the O&A section. These files have sound clips from movies and TV that you can play back on your computer by clicking on a button. I like toput them on speaker and see how long I can get the solicitor to talk to joe pesce or tony soprano. You'd be surprised how lomg they'll go once they're into their script. Try it it's fun.
Posted by Steve Purcell (Member # 1140) on :
I start breathing heavy and ask 'em if they're wearing any underwear. Posted by Linda Silver Eagle (Member # 274) on :
Adrienne, (Psssst...Stephen's wife's name is Linda. I don't live in Cananda, so it must not be me, LOL.)
I like to open up with, "Hello caller, you're on the air!" and they hang up. Once a woman "exclaimed" as she hung up the phone, that was too funny. LOL.
Posted by Janette Balogh (Member # 192) on :
Before caller id, my usual response was "click". I don't waste a second on them. If they are calling me looking for "Mrs. Balooo" ... it's not gonna be anyone I know.
Once tho, I did try to sell them a sign. Thought I'd turn it around ya know?. I told them that their company must not have a very good sign if they needed to resort to telemarketing for business.
Worth a shot don'cha think? Posted by Curtis hammond (Member # 2170) on :
Q: May I speak to the owner or manager??????
A: click,,,,,,,, buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Posted by Linda Silver Eagle (Member # 274) on :
Janette, I've tried that approach before, too, but have yet to hear of someone actually making a sale with these folks.
Curtis, we know that one, I wanna hear some funny ones! LOL.
Posted by Kookaburra (Member # 254) on :
Hello? Yes? Yes? Could you tell me that again please? umm, who did you say you were looking for? Just a sec, I'll see if I can find them... no, they're not here right now, but you can talk to me if you want.. I love to talk.. and to listen too.. so, what are you selling? Wow.. that sounds great. (pause) ok, mom's home now.. and she doesn't like people like you. *click*
Posted by Mark Matyjakowski (Member # 294) on :
For general phone fun (works well with telemarketers too) answer the phone by asking for Dave.
brrrrrriiiiinnnngggg......
you- Hello is Dave there?
TM- ????
you- Dave, I'm looking for Dave, is home.
TM- No sir this is xyz marketing.
you- sorry, I must have the wrong number CLICK
Posted by Rick Sacks (Member # 379) on :
I love to tell them that I used to be a junkie and how Jesus saved me from the fate that follows and that they also can have another chance.
Posted by John Deaton III (Member # 925) on :
I recently did this to a caller. "Could you hold on please, I am in the middle of a good bowel movement and it's, wait a minute, I think I have one in crossways, uh, oh man, grunt, grunt, grunt,strain, strain, oh sh**! Oh man , it hurts! Hold on just a few more minutes, here it comes, and woooooeeeee is it rank! Wait, here comes it's twin brother, oh no, grunt, grunt... I think he hung up about half way through. Not for sure though. Made me laugh anyway.
Posted by Lotti Prokott (Member # 2684) on :
Let them have a good start and then interrupt suddenly with "oops, hang on, be right back" Put the receiver down, and just go back to your work. Hang up ten minutes later or so.
Posted by Ben Sherr (Member # 2874) on :
Heard a good one on the radio on the way to work the other day. A guy got a call from a carpet cleaning company, and goes - "You guys clean carpets? Wow! You would not believe what a coincidence this is! Can you send someone right away? Can you guys get blood up? Quite a bit of blood......a whole lot of blood. Can you tell them to come to the back door? And tell them to be quiet. Hey, if I had like a rolled-up carpet that I wanted you guys to haul off for me, could you do that?" Needless to say, they hung up on him!
Posted by Mikes Mischeif (Member # 1744) on :
I whisper that I have lyringitis (sp)? and tell them I will answer with one beep for yes and two beeps for no.
Then I take the compressed air horn for boaters in my hand and tell them to begin.........Never Fails
Posted by david drane (Member # 507) on :
John Deaton, you are a sicko! but I love it. You almost had me cack'n myself I laughed so much.
Posted by Jackson Smart (Member # 187) on :
My line is....Sorry, the people that live here are gone, I'm just here robbing the house!
Long pause...no reaction on thier end. Posted by Stephen Broughton (Member # 2237) on :
My dad had a good one, company rings him up every week for 6 weeks trying to sell him a car port [kind of plastic awning that attaches to the side of the house) now the old man is getting well p*ssed of by now, so he agrees to a salesman to call to measure up and give him a quote. Now here are a coupla things you should know, my dad is 73 lives in a terraced house (no drive or garage) and has never learned to drive. A few days later the door bell rings and dad answers it to a confused looking suit,"good morning sir are you Mr Broughton" "yes" replies dad "is this 30 tunnard street" "yes " replies dad "well did you ask to have someone call to give you a quote for a car port" "yes" comes the reply "well we can't fit one because you live in a terraced house" "i know" replies my dad now grinning like an idiot, "your crappy company have been badgering me for 6 weeks wasting my time so i thought I would waste theirs, now sod off and tell them not too ring me again" Door slams! Hee Hee laughed my socks off.
Posted by Steve Burke (Member # 2674) on :
My Dad used to Ref soccer. If they called too often he'd give them a couple of blasts with the whistle. That'd fix any wax buildup they had...used to make our friends wonder when they came to visit- "What's the whistle doing beside the phone?" Posted by Stephen Deveau (Member # 1305) on :
Heres one for you all!
Never Talk To Strangers...Here's Why?
I was on Highway 20 out of Montreal driving toward Quebec city (East Bound) and I decide to stop at a rest stop to use the men's room.
The first stall was occupied so I went in the second. I am barely sitting down when I hear a voice from the other stall saying:"Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to start a conversation or fraternize in men's rooms at a rest stop but, I don't know what got into me, so I answer, somewhat embarrassedly: "Not bad!"
And the other guy says: "So what's up with you?" What a question?
At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "I'm like you, just travelling east!" Then I hear the guy say nervously...
"LISTEN!!! I'll have to call you back, there's an F**king idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions, bye!"
Not a true story but its worth the chuckle! Posted by Gregory (Member # 900) on :
A septic tank treatment compan called one time and asked me what I currently put in my septic tank, I proceeded to tell them what I usually put in my septic tank.
Posted by Michael Clanton (Member # 2419) on :
i have a couple that I have used:
If they are selling credit card insurance, they usually have a line in there about paying off the credit card payments if you happen to become unemployed. I get all excited and say that that sounds great, they will make my payments FOR me! Because I just lost my job two days ago! Hello?...
I had a lady call about switching my phone service, she was obviously just reading her script and not paying attention to anything I was saying, so when she got to the "if I could verify your phone #, we can switch you...", I replied "oh I'm sorry, we don't own a phone..." she quickly apologized for bothering me and hung up. I wonder how long it took for that one to sink in?
My cell phone is almost the same number(diff. area code) as a Building Supply place. I get all kinds of calls about them not delivering the right stuff, etc. most people are embarrassed when I tell them they dialed the wrong area code, but one guy was really rude to me, like it was my fault he had dialed the wrong number. So the 3rd time he calls, I just act like he has the right number and take his complaint about a truck load of 2x4's being all warped, and I told him to come on down and we would give him the whole order ON THE HOUSE! I wish I could have been there when he tried to make that good.
Posted by Dave Sherby (Member # 698) on :
After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit-card number to a complete stranger.
Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream "Oh No!" and then hang up.
Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
If they are selling a lawn service to make your grass grow better, tell them it grows to fast now and green is not your favorite color anyway.
Posted by David Harding (Member # 108) on :
A few years ago, I had an employee who was very good at imitating voices and accents. He answered the phone when an insurance agent called. The next thing we heard was "Omar" requesting a price for health insurance for his harem of wives and 27 children. The agent actually called back with a quote, quite eager to get the sale of a lifetime.
Posted by captain ken (Member # 742) on :
By telling them you already have it usually is a quick end... Insurance etc.? tell them your brother is your insurance man. nobody will continue from there. Phone service? this one is the big one. listen to who the represent and tell them you already have their service. cant sell me somethin I already got.
also I have been pestered so many times by MCI last time I told them I would never do business with that company, and please take me of the list. I havent heard from them again
Posted by TransLab (Member # 470) on :
What to say when they call if you don't want junk calls
Every time you get a call you consider junk, just ask the questions in this script. If they answer no, you may be able to sue them. You can print copies of it to keep by every phone at home. If everyone follows it, the junk calls will slowly but surely drop off.
``Are you calling to sell something?'' (or ``is this a telemarketing call?'') ``Could you tell me your full name please?'' $ ``And a phone number, area code first?'' $ ``What's the name of the organization you're calling for?'' $ ``Does that organization keep a list of numbers it's been asked not to call?'' $ ``I would like my number(s) put on that list. Can you take care of that now?'' $ ``And does the company you work for also make telemarketing calls for any other organizations?'' (If they answer no, skip the next question.) (If yes) ``Can you make sure your company won't call me for any other organization?'' $
You may need to ask to speak with a supervisor if they sound lost. When you're ready to let them off, you might close with ``Is it clear that I never want telemarketing calls from anyone?'' and just say goodbye. If you feel like making them pay, keep going:
``Will your company keep my number on its do-not-call list for at least ten years?'' $ ``And does your company have a written policy that says that on paper?'' $ ``Can you send me a copy of it?'' $ ``What's your supervisor's first and last name?'' ``What's your employer's business name, address and main telephone number?'' ``Are you calling for a tax-exempt nonprofit organization?'' ``Is this call based on a previously established business relationship?''
Before hanging up, check you have all their answers written down, then say goodbye. Add the date and time to your record. (Is it between 8 a.m. and 9 p.m.? $)
Posted by Bob Betz (Member # 2466) on :
I have cut down on my TM calls by about 75%. Here's the trick. There are 3 tones that the phone co. plays at the beginning of the message when you have reached a discontinued no. The TM computers listen for those tones, and remove the phone no. when it hears them. I have put the tones at the beginning of my answering machine message. Since no one is home during the day, the machine takes a lot of calls. Seems to work for me. Bob
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and within legal limits....![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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