Today would have been my dad's 79th birthday. After a family Christmas together I left Chicago Dec. 29th knowing I would not see my father again. After a 6 year battle with Parkinson's disease John C. Allan died January 8th, 2002 I still remember him telling me when I was 14 or 15, (& he had relinquished his rec room to my long-haired guitar playing friends & I, along with the drum set he had bought for me) that my music was a great hobby, but I should make my career with my talent in art. I'm glad he got to know I took his advice. He will always be my greatest teacher & guide.
I am including this photo because of many pictures taken during my trip in August as well as later in December, I have many images of pain, sorrow, & frailty. In this picture I find a very dignified state of rest that, to me, shows a sense of strength, peace & a slight hint of a smile that was so rare this past year. I am thankful to be able to share this occassion that occupies my mind today, with my friends in Letterville.
[ April 14, 2002, 05:19 AM: Message edited by: Doug Allan ]
Posted by Linda Silver Eagle (Member # 274) on :
Doug,
The picture you tried to link doesn't show dear, but I am not dissapointed by any stretch of the imagination. The picture you painted with your words is beautiful enough. Thank you for letting me see it.
Much love with those still around you.
Linda Silver Eagle
Posted by FranCisco Vargas (Member # 145) on :
Doug, I know the feeling back in '98 my father also passed away the same way. May they rest in peace...
Posted by Jeffrey Vrstal (Member # 2271) on :
Doug,
I am so sorry. Losing a parent is a hard, hard thing to do. Take it one day at a time and in time the pain will be less. The memory and ideas that he has instilled in you will grow and live beyond us all. Best wishes to your family.
Posted by Pat Foley (Member # 2683) on :
God bless you, Doug. We each have our ways of coping when we loose our loved ones. I trust my dad, a sign painter/artist, has welcome signs, and of course hand painted the special of the day, next to Disney cartoons on that well known gate; and my mom, a great cook, she has spaghetti dinners waiting for all as they arrive. Wishing you peace in your heart.
Posted by bill riedel (Member # 607) on :
You can consider yourself lucky that you had him that long. Many are taken at an earlier age. My grandfather was taken when my father was only five years old, leaving him no roll model.
Posted by Lotti Prokott (Member # 2684) on :
Doug, my new friend, I feel your pain. I went back to Switzerland two years ago when my dad was sick with cancer. I got there Dec 10 and he passed away Dec 14 with Mom and me by his side. It is better to cherish what we have been given rather than looking at what we have lost, just like you do in your words. Precious picture, thank you for sharing. God bless you.
Posted by cheryl nordby (Member # 1100) on :
Doug.....a very touching post indeed. Right before my dear ole Dad (as he liked to call himself) got sick is when I had just purchased my first computer and plotter. I made him a sign saying "Dad you are the Best!" and took it to Arizona so he could see the 'new way of sign making.' The hug I gave him when it was time to leave was certainly the last hug we would give each other. We both knew it and held on as long as we could... It is forever etched in my heart. I can see you hold a very special spot in your heart for your dear Dad as well. I am sure he was very proud of you. Thank you for sharing. Take care Your friend in Letterville, Cheryl
Posted by Monte Jumper (Member # 1106) on :
Doug...I understand your loss, I like you lost my dad 4 years back in January.It was quite sudden as he had an aortic anuerism...while trying to get there before he passed (a 14 hour drive into Phoenix)in the middle of the nite (1:30 am) I drove thru a herd of elk...and thought boy the old man would love to be here right now.When I arrived the next morning I was told he passed on at 1:30 am.
I'll never forget that...
I was given his Elks (lodge) ring and when ever I need his guidance or just want to remember him I put it on and wear it til the feeling passes.
He and I are haveing a good day as a matter of fact...my daughter was just here and left this morning headed for Denver.
Find something of his and keep it close, it'll help.
Sorry for your loss.
Posted by Doug Allan (Member # 2247) on :
Thanks for your words & thoughts everyone. I emailed this thread to my brother & he was moved by the family-like quality of all the many friendships here in Letterville. He forwarded it to my mom who, I'm sure, appreciated the kind words as well. Posted by John Cordova (Member # 220) on :
Hi Doug,
So sorry about your loss. I was just wondering, how long did he live after being diagnosed? I know all the Parkinson's cases are different but my father-in-law was diagnosed about 2 yrs ago and is now in the advanced stages. It's just sad to see such strong men that we have looked up to get in these conditions. My father-in-law was a strong, independent man and as the Parkinsons progressed he just got more depressed and angry as he couldn't do things he was used to. He is now wheelchair and bedridden and can't speak anymore. It makes it really difficult for my mother-in-law. My father died 5 yrs ago. It was hard to see this pillar of a strong man as my dad was, get weaker and weaker. He was a block layer and at 79 yrs old, he was still laying 800-1000 block a day (that's blocks not bricks)until he got hurt. We all miss them buddy! God Bless!
Sorry to go on so long but one more thing...it gets me angry 'cuz I just don't think life is fair that way. We've got these prisoner,low-life, murdering, rapists that are all healthy/buff and go on living forever, then you have our life-long hardworking fathers who get hit with these types of things. Oh well, what can you do?
Posted by Delzell (Member # 1965) on :
Doug, I have been away from the BB most of the week. This was the first post I read today and just the one I needed. I know how you feel as my father has been in the hospital for a week now. They even gave him his own room yesterday. He has two pneumonia germs in his lungs and he has had Wagener’s disease for a few years now. Some of the Doctors say there is nothing more they can do. But he found one who listened to him. After a few tests he is now on antibiotics and feeling better. Wagener’s affects the lung, sinus and kidneys. He may be around for a while longer but maybe not since the dialysis is taking a lot out of him. But he has made it longer then the Doctors said he would.
Thanks for the post,
Debbie
Posted by Doug Allan (Member # 2247) on :
Debbie, I hope the best for your fathers health. It sounds like he is fighting to beat these challenges, so I pray for you both that he does. Like Bill said, I consider myself, & my father lucky for a long productive life. I also am very thankful that he was not taken away from us suddenly. The trade-off, I guess, is that he had to suffer. In his case he was amazing at staying happy. I think that was always one of the traits I admired about my dad, that he had such a good-natured spirit.
John, My dad was diagnosed about 6 or 7 years ago, & was confined to a wheel chair about 2 or 3 years later. Then bed-ridden the last few years. Now he is soaring.
Posted by John Cordova (Member # 220) on :
Amen, Brother!
Posted by Delzell (Member # 1965) on :
Thanks! My Dad is doing much better today and may get to go home tomorrow. He talked for 2 1/2 hours last night so I knew he was feeling better.
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