Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewellery applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.31 SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4, and ClutterEverywhere 4.5.
Unfortunately, Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DrapeHanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all-purpose utility is of limited effectiveness and has on occasion evoked the dreaded BSOD (Blue Screen of Death). Can you help?
Signed, Jane
Dear Jane:
This is a very common problem women complain about,but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package.
However, Husband 1.0 Is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible. It is definitely not designed for multi-tasking. Further, you cannot simply purge Husband 1.0 from your system and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any modification program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory and cannot readily accept new information or changes. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.
In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0 or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0. (Look in your manual under "Warnings:Divorce/Resource Allocation.") You will notice that trying to install either of these programs (both of which, by the way, come pre-bundled with HeartBreak 1.3) will result in poor system performance, system conflict, and possible virus infection. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system.
Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system. Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause.
To activate this great feature enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME. Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8. Husband 1.0 will then run efficiently for a few weeks before you start to notice repeat problems.
TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5 or worse yet, to Beer 6.0. Beer 6.0 is an extremely disagreeable program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and wave files LoudSnore and NoxiousGas. All of these files are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip!
Just remember: Husband 1.0 will run smoothly and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but is plagued with memory and performance problems.
Consider buying additional software to enhance its functionality. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3, Patience 10.1, and Appreciation 2.5. If you keep these utilities running in the background ready to be called when needed, Husband 1.0 will experience fewer system interrupts, crashes, and lockups. You will also notice after several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2, and BestFriend 7.6.
A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, try to install HisMotherlnLaw 1.0 as a resident program, even temporarily. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system due to high incompatibility issues. Until HisMotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled, Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2.
I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!
Tech Support
Posted by Robert Thomas (Member # 1356) on :
Very, very true. But how do you upgrade from Wife 4.0? It's using alot of memory & running slow. Crashing alot as well.
Posted by Glenn Taylor (Member # 162) on :
Hahahaha!!
Posted by Diane Crowther (Member # 120) on :
hahahahahahahah...I love that kind of humour!
Posted by Troy Haas (Member # 472) on :
My wife and I will upgrade from ver. 12.0 to 13.0 in July. We really like ver. 12.0 and I am a little nervous about 13.0. We looked into going straight to ver, 14.0 but for our system it is not availble yet, they said it will be in about a year. Some things about ver. 13.0 we do like though, Along with it the children go from versions 8.0 and 11.0 to 9.0 and 12.0 respectivly. This is a major upgrade and seems to be more pleasing than some of the earlier versions. Version 1.0 was one of the worst as most of the systems seemed to be on overload and would purge themselves on a regular basis. We have heard that as these systems get older though that they crash more often and are generally less user friendly, requiring more frequent upgrades to the parent program. Sometimes, they say, a swift kick in their hard drive will restore usability, but this is often followed by a severe system crash and the dreaded BSOD.
I have heard that children versions 13.0 thru 18.0 are the least user friendly as they seem to think they are a super system and know everything. When we have to upgrade to these versions we will no doubt invest in other add on programs such as Grounded for life ver. 6.0, No car for a month ver. 3.5 and of course No TV, Computer or Telephone for a month ver. 8.0. Hopefully if all goes well we can upgrade them to University ver. 4.0, but unfortunatly this does come with parental nightmare 4.8 and Headache 25.0. Not to mention Financial worries ver. 15.0
Maybe by then we will be done with Mortgage 20.0 and we can convert this extra resource to University 4.0, and maybe Graduate 3.0
All this of course is dependent on our main frame holding up that long. My memory needs a severe upgrade already and I may have a faulty processor. I learned during marriage ver. 9.0 that there is no warrenty as I had to upgrade my left knee from ver. 1.0 to 2.0, it took some getting use to and still cause's a system fault from time to time. Tried recently to get a new back for my main frame, but unfortunatly one does not exsist and I will have to suffice with my current model.
Maybe I can contact technical support for help....
Posted by Stephen Deveau (Member # 1305) on :
Does Anyone have the Version 1.1 Override?
I hate that, when it crashes on me!
Got to trade it in for to 20's Posted by Stephen Broughton (Member # 2237) on :
My wife asks is there a Pot Washing 1.1 addition as her Husband 1.0 keeps crashing when this is mentioned also it refuses to run gardening Beta version. I seem to have a bug problem with version 1 of nagging as it refuses to close. LLLOOOLLL Posted by Kookaburra (Member # 254) on :
hey, I'm still looking for boyfriend version... I've lost count. Anyway, can you make my mouse click? Call 1900-345-356 for technical information on Girlfriend 1.01 (only $4.95 a minute, plus tax)
Posted by Randy Campbell (Member # 2675) on :
I have wife#1 and she has been upgraded each year for 27 wonderful years,no trade-ins thankyou!!!!
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