"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you
kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you
kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat half way across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with
a smile, and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

[ November 09, 2001: Message edited by: Samazon ]

One Day Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were fishing in each their boats in the
Basin Canal. Soon Boudreaux see Thibodeaux paddling toward him. When he got
there he ax Boudreaux to borrow his cigarette lighter. He wanted to smoke
real
bad and couldn't find his lighter.

" Hey, Boud - let me borrow your lighter. I can't find mine. "
Boudreaux whipped out a pretty Bic lighter a foot long. Man, he pushed down
on that lighter and a flame 6 inches tall came out. Thibodeaux was so
impressed he ax Boudreaux where he got that.

"A genie gave me that. Just paddle around the bend there and you'll see a
big
rusty drum tied to a limb there. Just rub that drum and she will come out
and
grant you one wish."

Thibodeaux hurry and paddle out there to get his wish. He was so nervous and

excited. When he got there, he rub that drum and sure 'nuff, out she came.

"What is you wish master?" she asked. " Mais, let me see. Oh, yes! I want a
million bucks." "Your wish is on it's way."

Sure enough. The sky fill up with ducks. All kinds of ducks. Bigones, 'lil
ones - - all kinds. He was so upset. He didn't want ducks,so he paddled back

to Boudreaux. The ducks still following him.

"Boudreaux , what's the matter with 'dat dam genie. I ask for a million
bucks
and look what she send me."

" Don't feel too bad, Thibodeaux......Do you think I ax for a 12 inch Bic?"
 

here is one...

Michael the Dragon Master was an official in King Arthur's court. He had
a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous
breasts. But he knew the penalty for this would death.

One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, who was
the King's chief physician. Horatio said "I can arrange it, but I will
need 1,000 gold coins to pay bribes." Michael the Dragon Master readily
agreed.

The next day Horatio made up a batch of itching lotion and poured a
little of it into the Queens brassiere while she was taking a bath. Soon
after she dressed the itching commenced and grew in intensity.

Upon being called to the royal chambers, Horatio told the King that only
a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of
itch, and that tests had shown such a saliva was only to be found in
Michael the Dragon Master's mouth.

King Arthur summoned Michael the Dragon Master and issued the imperial
command. Michael slipped the antidote to the itching lotion, which
Horatio had given him, into his mouth and for the next four hours worked
passionately on the Queen's magnificent breasts.

Satisfied, he returned to his chamber and found Horatio demanding
payment. However, with his obsession now satisfied, he refused to pay
Horatio anything and shooed him away, knowing that Horatio could never
report this matter to the King.

The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching lotion
into King Arthur's loincloth. And Michael the Dragon Master was again
summoned by the King........