So - 'sardines' is my word for my original, humorous observations - see, they are funny (I think sardines are weird-funny) because these observations are 'sard'onic, and so stinking true. Of course, sardines also stink and you may think this satire stinks - but I bet you'll laugh at something here and I will have succeeded in disolving any Monday morning blues you might have ...
The subject is the Wal-Wal-Mart paint department ... I've been doing quite a lot of house painting and furniture painting these days. In an effort to discourage people from demanding to be confused, get poor advice, purchase the wrong thing, etc etc, from the Wal-Mart paint department, I usually go buy it myself... I move at a high rate of speed in the Wal-Mart paint & hardware department because I know where everything is and want it's for, so I'm always avoiding clerks. Apparently I do this so efficiently, I never see them . . .
Ive tried, often in vain, to explain the competency-level of the Wal-Mart paint department service staff. . . finally, I've concisely narrowed down a few points to deter the unsuspecting, inexperienced, wanna-be painter from purchasing paint materials at Wal-Mart to becoming an employee of the paint department . . .
No doubt you can add your own observations to this introductory list ...
At Wal-Mart the paint clerks are often unknowledgeable. Wal-Mart has a high turnover of employees in the paint department. I have never seen the same paint clerk twice. And sometimes, I never see them once. Walmart will allow any person to have that department because no prior paint experience of any kind is necessary. In fact, experience may be frowned upon as it might show-up other department's ...
If you have never even painted your fingernails . . . you can get a job running the paint department at Wal-Mart . . .
If you have never, even breifly WATCHED a person actually painting in real-life, or even on TV . . . you can get a job running an entire paint deptartment at Wal-Mart . . .
Interviewing for the paint department job at Wal-Mart is merely a formality and has no bearing on job opportunity, availability, or job security. Paint terms, read by an interviewer from a standard questionnaire are also foreign to the interviewer so any answers the inevitable employee gives are deemed correct . . .
So, if you don't know a foam paint roller from a foam hair roller . . .
If you think mineral spirits is some sort of drink . . .
If you think the word 'latex' has something to do with ladies bras . . .
If you think the term 'deep base' refers to a Revlon make-up foundation . . .
If asked about stains and you explain how to use 'SHOUT', etc . . .
If you thought 'gallon' or 'quart' only refered to milk . . .
If you can stack boxes of merchandise in a shopping cart and go to the breakroom a lot . . .
You can have a job running the entire paint department at Wal-Mart . . .
(disclaimer: this commentary in no way reflects every single fact of every single Wal-Mart paint department staff as this commentary has left out many . . .)
[ October 24, 2016, 11:46 AM: Message edited by: Sheila Ferrell ]
Posted by Chuck Peterson (Member # 70) on :
Qualifications may be:
A. Must be knowledgeable about paint. B. Have to have purchased paint or know someone who has at some point in your life. C. Must be able to show up for work.
* You only need two out of the three.
Posted by Sheila Ferrell (Member # 3741) on :
. . . um . . . lol Chuck even having only one of the 3 qualifications you described would be an attribute of a lucid person with some viable skill and therefore rather over-qualified to work in the Wal-Mart paint department.
Any person having all 3 qualifications has a better job somewhere else . . .
(Guenuine disclaimer: the author is satirizing one particular Wal-Mart from decades of personal experience and is well aware of her extreme negativity towards Wal Mart and particularly it's paint department staff in general, and in reality, is not against ALL Wal-Marts, and is aware that there are excellent staff people in many different departments of many other Wal-Marts not located in her hometown and a at least a few other towns which she reluctantly still patronizes occasionally, so there.)
Posted by Rusty Bradley (Member # 6938) on :
Given what Wal-Mart employees are paid...what can you expect.
Posted by Bruce Bowers (Member # 892) on :
Actually, Walmart has some of the highest starting wages of any retailer.
Posted by Rusty Bradley (Member # 6938) on :
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