The Letterville BullBoard: OT-oxymorons

This is topic OT-oxymorons in forum Letterhead/Pinstriper Talk at The Letterville BullBoard.

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Posted by Jane Diaz (Member # 595) on :

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the
same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?

I dunno, why do we? [Big Grin]

Posted by Jon Jantz (Member # 6137) on :

[Rolling On The Floor]

Good one, Jane...

"Fat chance"

I hate that phrase. I hear it and I usually end saying "WUD'D YOU CALL ME?"

Posted by Patrick Sweeney (Member # 4123) on :

Is an oxymoron a dumb ox?

Posted by Nevman (Member # 332) on :

One of my favorites it "Can't wait!"

Well...you gotta wait!

Posted by James Donahue (Member # 3624) on :

Number 24...you gotta understand speed bathing: the soap and water just loosen stuff up, the towel does the removal. Hence the reason I do not buy light colored towels [Razz]

Just kidding folks, just kidding. But it's this kind of creativity that makes the in-laws want to stay at a motel when they visit. Saves all kinds of money. Got some good kitchen pointers too, if you wanna save money there. They don't even ask first, they just show up with a big bucket of KFC. Mmmm-mmm delicious. No expensive hot water dishwashing needed either. There I go giving away more tips. You people oughta be grateful. [Applause]

Posted by Jeff Margeson (Member # 9145) on :

Time flies like an arrow...fruit flies like a banana.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Posted by Frank Magoo (Member # 3950) on :

"Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?"

same reason they swab arm w/achohol to insert needle on death row...

[Cool]

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