She told me we couldn't afford beer at $25.00 a case anymore and I'd have to quit drinking.
Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up, and I asked her how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't.
She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me.
I told her that's what the beer was for.
I don't think she's coming back........
Posted by Kimberly Zanetti (Member # 2546) on :
You're so bad. Always cracks me up when guys tell you - You don't need make-up, you look great to me without it. Then when you do wear it, they come home and say - Wow! You look great today!
Posted by Steve Luck (Member # 5292) on :
Sounds like a country song in the making!
"I Kissed her lips goodbye and left her behind for you". Still my favorite title.
My wife was coming up to the shop more frequently and trying to help out. I told her thanks, but I'd like to see a little less of her around the shop. I really didn't want her to feel she had to work here at the shop and take care of the kids at home.
The next day I didn't see her. Or the day after that. On the third day I caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye where the swelling went down!
Sign-cerely, Steve
Posted by Jon Jantz (Member # 6137) on :
Call me chicken, but I'm staying out of th.... ooopss.. here she comes... MINIMIZE....
Posted by John Deaton (Member # 925) on :
Now that was funny. Posted by Ricky Jackson (Member # 5082) on :
Toby Keith has a song on his latest "White Trash With Money" CD that goes something like "She didn't say no... she made me realize I have a ways to go; she said HELL NO!".
Just ask her nicely if she can come back in a few beers. That oughta work. Oh and compliment her shoes; women eat that stuff up. ...but don't act gay about it when you compliment her shoes. Is it just me or... my wife could burn her hair off and it would be a week before I noticed. She could have on her makeup upside down and I wouldn't notice. Anybody else like that?
Posted by Kimmy Fitzgerald (Member # 5109) on :
Can the women Highjack this post?
Posted by Ken Henry (Member # 598) on :
Come on guys...Don't you all realize by now that there a lot of really smart women out there? Many of them would really like to be appreciated for what they have from the neck up, but all too often that just doesn't happen.
Maybe if they stood on their heads, but then again, maybe that level of appreciation still wouldn't satisfy them. Posted by Kimmy Fitzgerald (Member # 5109) on :
I so resemble that comment........ Posted by Ricky Jackson (Member # 5082) on :
Yeah you bunch of insensitive jerks. I'd like to apologize to MADISON, CADEN, TAVA, CALEB, ABIGAIL, ETHAN, EMMA, BRAYDEN, CADENCE, DYLAN, CHLOE, JADEN, BAILEY, LOGAN, ISABELLA, NOAH, OLIVIA, JACOB, HANNAH, CONNOR, JAYDEN, MADISON, ALEXIS, RYAN, HAILEY, CAMERON, ANDREW, GRACE, ELIJAH, EMILY, AVERY, PAIGE, EVAN, ELLA, LUCKY, MOLLY, BUDDY, ROCKY, DUSTY, CODY, BANDIT, AMBER, SHADOW, BEAR, ROXY, GINGER, GIZMO, SASSY, PRINCESS, TUCKER, JACK, ABBY, and FLUFFY.
Posted by Si Allen (Member # 420) on :
A British company is developing computer chips that store music in womens breast implants.This is being considered a major break-through and will solve a perennial problem,as women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them!!!!
Posted by Kimmy Fitzgerald (Member # 5109) on :
Ricky..You forgot Dali...
Posted by Ricky Jackson (Member # 5082) on :
Savador Dali? Dali Lama? Hello Dali? Which one? So many Dalis, so little time. You're not talking about that hockey playing wussy named "Dali" that lives in Toronto are you?
Posted by Kimmy Fitzgerald (Member # 5109) on :
Yes Ricky,,Salvador, I enjoy the area he is from...We wanted a name that was artistic in some manner...nothing worked for two weeks we just called her Dog....I have always admired Dali(the artist) for alot of reasons....When you look at our dog she has melting clocks that run down her hip.....I will send you some pics.....She may also be called the Dali Lama Of Surfing tooo. I will get Ken to post a pic.
She has her own spot in the shop for her personal panels....Ask certain people...you may find the truth.......the dog is nuts and spoiled rotten...As she should be.....however she may be smarter than her owners,,,,,,
Posted by Jane Diaz (Member # 595) on :
This is what happens when women drink too much...
1. She have absolutely no idea where her purse is.
2. She believe that dancing with her arms overhead and wiggling her butt while yelling "WOO-HOO!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. She suddenly decided she want to kick someone's a** and honestly believes she could do it too.
4. In her last trip to "pee" she realizes she now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess she was just four hours ago.
5 . She drops her 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which she's eating even though she's not the least bit hungry), picks it up and carry on eating it.
6. She start crying and telling everyone she sees that she love them sooooo much.
7. She gets extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "Oh my God! I love this song!"
8. She found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to her.
9. The man she flirting with used to be her 5th grade teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. Her eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so she keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
12. She suddenly taken up smoking and becomes really good at it.
13. She yell at the bartender, who (she thinks) cheated her by giving her just lemonade, but that's just because she can no longer taste the gin.
14. She thinks she is in bed, but her pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.
15. She start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."
16. She fail to notice that the toilet lid is down when she sits on it.
17 Her hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. She is tired so she just sits on the floor and take a quick nap.
19. She begin leaving the buttons open on her button fly pants to cut down on the time she is in the bathroom away from her drink.
20. She take her shoes off because she believe it's their fault that she is having problems walking straight.
THAT might be why she left you! She's DRUNK!
[ July 27, 2006, 06:11 PM: Message edited by: Jane Diaz ]
Posted by Ricky Jackson (Member # 5082) on :
LOL @ Jane! That's good stuff. Kimmy, the things I remember most about Dali's work is the common elements he had in so many of his works, melting clocks, his dog and his nekkid wife (boobies only). I remember back in the 70's when he was really hot, his art was one of my favs.
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Come on guys...Don't you all realize by now that there a lot of really smart women out there? Many of them would really like to be appreciated for what they have from the neck up, but all too often that just doesn't happen.![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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