1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ****.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different
Posted by Si Allen (Member # 420) on :
LOL ... I have said most of them to customers including:
Yes I heard that, I'm just ignoring you!
Posted by Dave Grundy (Member # 103) on :
LOL Jerry..Just finished watching the season finale of "House"...I can visualise him saying all of the above!!
Posted by James Kelly (Member # 189) on :
ROFL. I can think of quite a few customers I could use those on. Posted by Jill Marie Welsh (Member # 1912) on :
I've said #19 to myself since high school.... love....Jill
Posted by Ron Costa (Member # 3366) on :
41. "Yes Maam, I can have that ready for you this afternoon. That'll be $2300........deposit."
Posted by Tracie Johnson (Member # 6117) on :
I hate to tell you this, but your nephew CAN'T DRAW!
Posted by James Kelly (Member # 189) on :
"You need it yesterday? Yes, we can do that if you can pay me the day before."
Posted by James Kelly (Member # 189) on :
I'm thinking of putting this up in our reception...
We would be pleased to make your signs for nothing. Unfortunately, the rent man, the rates man, the electric company, the telephone company, the plastic suppliers, the vinyl suppliers, the paint suppliers, the computer company, the software company, the insurance company, the petrol station, the car servicing company, the work clothing company and even the shop we get our coffee from are not as like minded and insist that we pay them for their services. With this in mind, we regret that we are in the unfortunate position where we must ask you as one of our valued customers to help us pay for a tiny part of these services by charging you a small amount for our products. We hope this will not cause you too much inconvenience.
Posted by jon gough (Member # 4223) on :
"When it came to thought about this sir you stopped at nothing"
"We're having creative differences. I'm creative, you're different"
show a lazy man a hard job and he'll show you an easy way to do it Posted by Deri Russell (Member # 119) on :
Oh my gosh! Thanks everyone! I really needed that today!
Posted by bruce ward (Member # 1289) on :
"if you wanted it yesterday you should have ordered it two weeks ago"
"let me send you over to another sign company, your going to more of a pain in the ass than i care to deal with"
Posted by Rosemary (Member # 1926) on :
Dave, I LOVE House! Did you like the season finale? I think I did but I expected something different, sorta.
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