1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life... (Inside card) - I've changed my mind.
2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life.... (Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.
3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.
4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.
5. Someday I hope to marry...(Inside card) - Someone other than you.
6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!
7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.
8. We've been friends for a very long time...(Inside card) - What do you say we stop?
9. I'm so miserable without you...(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.
10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?
11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... (Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
12. Your friends and I wanted to do something really special for your birthday... (Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.
13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in hillbilly areas.)
14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder... (Inside card) - What was I thinking?
15. Congratulations on your wedding day!...(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.
Posted by Christy Griffith (Member # 4583) on :
These bring to mind the "crazy for you" teddy bear that they are trying to pull off the market. Apparently the straight jacket is offending to some. However, I bet it is one of their top seller:)
Posted by Janette Balogh (Member # 192) on :
Too funny! those were good.
Posted by Laura Butler (Member # 1830) on :
My sister in law told me that she read this in a Hallmark card years ago.
"You know that you are dysfunctional if,....) open card "you help the waitress clean off the table."
Struck home with me.
Posted by Rovelle W. Gratz (Member # 4404) on :
I always thought that Knott's Berry Farm should sell vests in their Gift Shops..."When you care enough to send the Berry Vest".
[ January 14, 2005, 02:31 PM: Message edited by: Rovelle W. Gratz ]
Posted by Doug Allan (Member # 2247) on :
Rove, you must have waited a looong time for a remotely relevant opportunity for that "joke" huh? Posted by Rovelle W. Gratz (Member # 4404) on :
Yea, Doug, I've had it in my head for a while.
[ January 15, 2005, 01:08 PM: Message edited by: Rovelle W. Gratz ]
Posted by Curt Stenz (Member # 82) on :
Jane, I know someone who #13 is relevant to, and this is not hillbilly country.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)