1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for just one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find a single one to save your sorry old ass.
Posted by Jillbeans (Member # 1912) on :
You give up frilly underwire bras for utilitarian "Cross-Your-heart" ones, but your boobs still drag in your oatmeal at breakfast.
(if you're a girl, hopefully!) Love.....Jill
Posted by W. R. Pickett (Member # 3842) on :
...You become a conservative and care way - too - much about OTHER peoples morals.
Posted by Lotti Prokott (Member # 2684) on :
You used to complain about having to do all the chores and your mother wouldn't listen. Now you complain about having to do all the chores and your kids won't listen.
Posted by Gavin Chachere (Member # 1443) on :
26. You retired early because you bought shares in w.r. pickett for what they were worth and sold them for what they thought they were worth and put the proceeds in a roth ira
Posted by Rick Chavez (Member # 2146) on :
When your boobs are bigger than your wife's......
Posted by Rovelle W. Gratz (Member # 4404) on :
I like 26.
The others all seem to apply to me too, except the lady ones.
[ December 11, 2004, 10:52 AM: Message edited by: Rovelle W. Gratz ]
Posted by William DeBekker (Member # 3848) on :
What Scares me is the Ladies ones also apply to me. I need a Manzier. and 27. Your actually considering flipping up your pony tail to cover up that bald spot to lool like the Missing BeeGee. 28. You know who the BeeGees are.
Posted by Jeff Poitevint (Member # 4740) on :
Damn - I finally figured out I'm grown at 40.
I watched Dustin Hoffman on 60 minutes say he could see the light at the end of the tunnel. He said he could no longer double his age. When he was 20 he could double it and be 40. When he was 40 he could double it and be 80. After that, quit counting.
Posted by faye welsh (Member # 2524) on :
listen ,si... your body ages, but your brain is still young...it can think about anything,and get away with it.yours seems to????ho-ho-ho... Posted by Ricky Jackson (Member # 5082) on :
We were invited to a party with a "nerd" theme. It's depressing to go thru your closet only to realize that you could pick anything and it would be plenty nerdy enough. I won the door prize
![[I Don t Know]](graemlins/dunno.gif)
![[For Your Information]](graemlins/fyi.gif)
![[Rolling On The Floor]](graemlins/rolf.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)