In 19 years of workin the sign biz, I have noted the following types of customers:
THE INQUISITOR "Let me ask you this..." THE TIRE-KICKER "I'm thinking of getting my truck lettered, how much?" THE HAGGLER "Is that the best price you can give me? THE ENTREPRENEUR "If you give me a deal on this first truck, I'll send you the whole fleet" THE PRICE-SHOPPER "I can get that same set of magnetics for $39.95 at Kinko's" THE "YES, DEAR" "Can you print me out a sketch to show to my wife/husband?" THE RACING FAN "If you letter my stock car I'll let you put your name on it" THE FRUSTRATED ARTIST "I have a BA in graphic design, look at my ideas I did in Word" THE PROUD PARENT "Little Johnny did this sketch on our computer, can you scan it?" THE CHURCH LADY Our committee will look at your sketch and get back to you" THE DARING-DOER "Just go crazy on it! My budget is $75" THE FRANCHISER "Here's our camera-ready logo, BTW, please come to our business luncheon" THE ITEMIZER "How much more for another color of vynull?" THE ANAL MEASURER "I want 6" block lettering on this 3' sign" THE PROCRASTINATOR "Hey remember me? We talked about lettering my van last spring" THE MARTHA WANNA-BE "Can I have this sign in Primrose Yellow with Wedgewood Blue lettering?" THE MYSTERIOUS FRIEND "Hey! You painted my friend Biff's sign, he sent me here." The PERFECT IDIOT "Who do I make this check out to? Signs by Jill?"
Got any more? Love....Jill Posted by KARYN BUSH (Member # 1948) on :
the a$$hole(and new customer)...can i pay you next week?
[ December 06, 2004, 08:54 AM: Message edited by: KARYN BUSH ]
Posted by Jillbeans (Member # 1912) on :
Karyn....that'd be THE WIMPY "I will gladly pay you Tuesday" Love....Jill
Posted by Murray MacDonald (Member # 3558) on :
Jilly...THE DORK," Uh, how much is a sign?" MUR
Posted by Monte Jumper (Member # 1106) on :
The POLITICIAN..has three colors to chose from (red white and blue.
And he say's "I want mine to stand out more than the others"
Posted by Bill Diaz (Member # 2549) on :
THE PUSHER/ESTIMATOR: "Can't you just squeeze me in? It can't take you in more than a minute."
Sounds pornographic to me! Be thankful they're not on the payroll.
Posted by Ray Rheaume (Member # 3794) on :
"THE WASTE OF TIME"
Walks into the shop with little or no money (which they will mention often), inquires about an elaborate job on his Harley or sign (that, of course, they cannot afford), and when you estimate it, gets a look on his face as if you had just shot his firstborn child.
They will then spend way too much time blowing smoke up your poop chute in praise of your ability to do the job, endlessly try to discuss the design with you, in the full knowledge that they can't afford what they want.
When the reality of the futility sinks in, they leave, nearly always saying they will be back when they can afford it.
I'm not holding my breath for them... Rapid
Posted by Lotti Prokott (Member # 2684) on :
The "Desperate" that need it by tomorrow and never pick it up until two weeks later.
I've got one of those jobs sitting here right now Posted by Jane Diaz (Member # 595) on :
"The two-faced jerk" This is the person who would never think of lowering themselves to speak to you at a social event because they are just TOO important. But now that they need "something really nice" for their new office, you are their long, lost friend! Oh and by the way, they want to have their grand opening this weekend. Posted by Ken Henry (Member # 598) on :
Then there's that customer who insists on dealing with you "at arm's length". Your first clue is that your initial contact will be from a secretary, who can't devulge complete information, because her boss wasn't all that specific. Rather than simply put him on the line, she has to relay your questions regarding size, substrate, background colours, exact text, etc., etc. When she gets back to you she reveals that "he just wants a rough idea of cost, and can't understand why you can't just give that....based upon what she's told you so far".
These types give the imperssion that they'd NEVER lower themselves to the point of actually speaking to you directly.....like you're a carrier of the plague, or worse.
Have any of you met one of those? Posted by Jillbeans (Member # 1912) on :
That's more of THE "KING SH!T OF TURD MOUNTAIN" type Ken. Then it's YOUR fault when the lack of communication results in an error. What about THE QUICK-CHANGER The person who acts like they love everything you've proposed only to change everything mid-production. Or THE PHONEY BALONEY Someone who initially gushes all over the place about the sign you did...until they show their husband/neighbor/hairdresser who doesn't like the background color. Or THE SKETCH BANDIT Someone who you KNOW is an in-the-bag job, who gives your reluctantly-handed-out artwork to Signz 'N More and buys the sign from them. Or THE EGO STROKER "Yes I trust you all the way, you're so good" (hoping for a discount) Or THE IMPERIAL DIVA Comes to your shop in a BMW, wearing a fur coat and dripping diamonds, smelling of expensive cologne, who complains about paying $25 for a coro sign. Or THE DO-IT-YOURSELFER Buys paint, vynull, coro, whatever from you and makes their own sign to save $$. Or THE SINGLE MOM Who lets her kids run rampant thru your shop while she whines about how hard it is to afford signs for her day-care center.
(are we having fun yet?)
Posted by John Lennig (Member # 2455) on :
and the "Woulda/Used To"...I used to do signs too.....or, I'd do that lettering...but I just don't have the Patience." OH, I think you wanta be a DOCTOR,buddy!!! you'll have lots o' Patients there!
like that guy in Arizona used to say, "the customer is your Enema, act like it!"
John
Posted by Kissymatina (Member # 2028) on :
The BACK IN THE DAY GUY The guy who complains that you charge to much because he "used to get (mags, coro, whatever) for $5 a piece". That was 1977 and the guy who made them starved to death!
Posted by Lotti Prokott (Member # 2684) on :
The "Never-Good-Enough" type, who will actually critizice the layout for his $10 coroplast NO PARKING sign.
The "In-Charge" person that is not: had three month to order the sign/banner/whatever, and comes one day before it's needed.
The "Excuses, excuses" guy: "The person in charge of writing cheques is not in". "I forgot my cheque book", "The roads were bad", etc, etc.
Posted by Arthur Vanson (Member # 2855) on :
The Right Reverand, Reverand Wright. "You want to charge God HOW MUCH!?" The Mobile Menace. Won't get off the mobile despite being in your shop – in your time. Mr Parsimony Grudgingly writing your cheque he enquires. "Do you think you've earned it?"
Posted by Sheila Ferrell (Member # 3741) on :
Boy, y'all are SO on target!! It kind'a makes me feel better to know that these people are nation wide . . but . . .I wonder what the customer list of 'sign painter types' looks like?? lol
I dunno WHAT to call the jerks (I wrote a disseration about one before...EX: The 6'2", 300lb redneck in stinky cammo who hollered at me across Wal-Mart while I was in the bra and panties section, following me from rack to rack, non-stop talking in a booming voice, about a sign he THINKS he MIGHT like to get someday but he can't ever 'find' me . . . . )
This type NEVER thinks of needing a sign during normal business times, but prefers to 'run into me' on MY time and suddenly 'remember' they MIGHT want a sign, and say, "HEY just the person I wanna see!!" or bold-face lie and say "I've been TRYING to call you!" and they expect you to stop whatever you're doing right then and give them your undivided attention for 30 minutes while they ask you 10,000 questions about a sign they've been trying to picture in their mind for years...
All the while I'm sure my facial expression is less than enthused and I'm waiting for a break in the verbal momentum so I can politely ask them to call me at the shop anytime Mon-Fri, but when I do, that makes them talk faster and 'qualify' their questions: "Well, I just want to get an 'idea'" . . .and I'm thinkin', "I'm TRYIN" to GIVE you and IDEA . . ."
They continue the barrage of questions...how big would I make it and what colours and WHY they'd like to have it, what their wife and kids and parents will expect, and WHERE it would go and then finally they shut-up and come-up for air, I tell 'em again WHEN to call about it...then they say, "Well, just whenever...no hurry...I'll have to save some money . . . ."
Oh yeh, I know what to call this type . . . . . .
CRUDE, RUDE and socially unacceptable Posted by Jillbeans (Member # 1912) on :
Hey! A new panel swap idea, illustrated versions of these descriptions! Nahhhh....Love....Jill
Posted by Cam Bortz (Member # 55) on :
THE INTERPRETER who thinks they heard you say something else: "Can you install the sign as well?" "Yes, that's an extra charge, but we'll take care of that for you".
The "interpretation" part comes when she's billed for the installation. "You said you'd take care of it. I assumed that meant you were doing it for free."
This one just happened last week. The new sign had sat for two months because she couldn't find anyone else to do the installation, before she called us back - then decided that I had somehow offered to do it for free. grrrrrrr....
Posted by Stevo Chartrand (Member # 2094) on :
THE ARCHITECT - We have designed and built this multi million dollar building but it kinda seems like we're forgetting sumthin.
Hmmmmmmmmmm.
DING!!.
Oh yeah we need some wayfinding signs!! Call the sign company and get them to make some signs quick to our ridiculously stoopid specs!
Stevo
Posted by Arthur Vanson (Member # 2855) on :
The Optimist? or Sideways Promotion Fodder? I promise this happened last week. I’d already e-mailed a simple layout and quoted £95 for one sign, the boss’s minion phoned and said: “Okay, that looks good, if you could just do a sample that I can show my boss, I’m sure he’ll give the go-ahead.” “Sample? What sort of sample?” (Looking round for a jar.) “A sample of the sign.” “How big?” “Well, full size.” “£95” “But that's the price of the job.” “Why wouldn’t it be?” “Oh! Well, (sheepishly) I’ll get back to you.”
[ December 07, 2004, 07:50 AM: Message edited by: Arthur Vanson ]
Posted by Jillbeans (Member # 1912) on :
THE OVER-SCHEDULER Makes an appointment. Never shows, after you've opened space in your schedule. The next day, they do show up. "Sorry, I had to see the orthodontist/gyno/accountant...but I'm here now! THE ASSUMER "Well, I just figured you'd throw in the back of the van since you're already lettering the sides" THE "D'OH!" "You mean you make banners, too? I just ordered them from Kinko's!
Any more? Arthur, you've GOT to be kidding. Love....Jill
Posted by John Deaton III (Member # 925) on :
The Optimist: The guy that thinks by catching you out eating lunch and asking for a price right then and there, he will get a better price, cause you are on the spot. The Pessimist: The guy that thinks you are trying to take away his life savings on the job you are doing for him, and whines and gripes about it til the job is done.
Posted by Kissymatina (Member # 2028) on :
THE LONE CUSTOMER The guy who thinks you only do work for him and expects you to drop everything when he calls. How dare you have other work scheduled. If questioned, he would be highly likely to say he does in fact believe that you live off the $500 a year he spends with you.
Posted by Jane Diaz (Member # 595) on :
The whiner who no matter what you do, it's never enough. If he calls today and you "squeeze" him in tomorrow, he wants you to get him in this afternoon. I have one of these and I HATE when he calls!
Posted by David Fisher (Member # 107) on :
The "Oh yeah but..." guy Who after the fact realises that he: Doesn't have the money/can't find his cheque book/didn't ask his wife (who happens to want a puce background)/thought it would make a nice present/thought you'd accept credit/realises he could have got his relative to do it on a blue poly-tarp/brings in some crappped up artwork a week after it's finished/never picks the job up but comes in a year later like you're a long lost relative/quotes you a value for the job...
I am working on a scanning device that looks just like one of those photoelectric doorbells but discretely scans for morons. A subtle difference in ring tones will immediately alert you if the person is genuine or a time waster. Later versions are expected to give you a more detailed indication of stupidity. Other proucts under development are iris guided, bonnet (hood?) mounted dickhead seeking missiles and spring loaded, doormat mounted, brick rubble filled boxing gloves. These are intended as a deterent to unannounced sales reps and door to door hawkers. Under development is our fax-o-matic which delivers raw current to any fax found to be sending advertising material, guaranteed to render the sender's equipment to a pile of molten slag. But I digress... Customers are no doubt good for something, but without a strict & steadying hand to guide them are capable of rediculous heights of stupidity . As an artisan is is your duty to guide them in a helpful manner, educate them without predjudice and relieve them of the maximum cash value possible.
David
[ December 09, 2004, 08:58 AM: Message edited by: David Fisher ]
Posted by Kissymatina (Member # 2028) on :
LOL David.
When you get the scanning device complete, let me know. Have you considered making one that works on the phone line so you can tell the stupidity level before answering the phone?
Posted by Si Allen (Member # 420) on :
Put me down for the phone version!
Posted by Jerry VanHorn (Member # 4704) on :
The Accountant
This is the guy who states his own payment plan. Usually trying to make 5 monthly payments until paid in full - 0% interest of course.
2nd shift shopper This guy comes to our home business at 8:00 PM or later wanting to discuss a job he may want to do.
Sunday shopper closely related to the 2nd shift shopper. He is waiting for us at the door as we return from church.
Posted by Lotti Prokott (Member # 2684) on :
Jerry's "Sunday Shopper" has a cousin, "Mr. Deaf". He phones me Sunday morning while we are already late for church, wanting a meeting to discuss a job, I say, "I don't work on Sunday, call me Monday morning". He goes on asking if tommorrow night at 8pm would suit me, I say, "No it doesn't, you can call me Monday morning". He starts explaining the project to me and I interrupt,"Im not doing business with you right now, call me Monday morning, goodbye". Fast forward one week.... Sunday morning at nine the phone rings, same guy, "I guess we couldn't make it this week, can we come in tomorrow evening?"
Posted by Wm. J. Krupinski (Member # 1746) on :
Hey! There's the version of the Rev Wright I heard at the Letterhead meet in Bloomington Il back in the early 90'--
The HOLY ROLLER--"The Lord told me you should GIVE me this sign!"
and...The DOUBLE DIPPER--they want two completely different businesses and names on the same truck so as to save money.
Also, is there a term for a sign maker that gouges a fellow sign person when they need something done they can't do in their own shop?
Hey Jill--Butler made the news again. D'you know Joel Crytzer? Charged with possession after stopped for driving around on only three wheels? Saw it in the News of the Weird column...
Posted by Jillbeans (Member # 1912) on :
Yup, Meester Krupeeenski, I know him well. He lives in the trailer court over the hill. Came to me one day lookin to trade crack rocks for a Calvin peeing sticker. I noticed that his car only had three wheels, but didn't want to seem cocky. He only had three teeth, too! Love...Jill PS (I made that up)
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Love....Jill
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